CANKLES & SWOLLEN CALVES

 

I’ve had them, and that too!

Now I hear our President; the pussy grabber, convicted felon & rapist, and the draft dodger with bone spurs, has cankles. Well good, I say! But he deserves far, far worse! How anyone with a functioning brain voted for this horrible excuse for a human being is beyond me! Yet I know many who almost worship him.

Back when he was first running for the office, I saw the writing on the wall and planned to expatriate. Plus, the Third World is cheaper, and better suited (I thought) to someone on a fixed income.

I had it narrowed down to either Ecuador or Thailand. I took exploratory trips to each before deciding. – And glad I did!

In Ecuador my first trip, the shoes that were so comfortable strolling the mall & big box stores did not handle those cobble stone streets well. And I am unused that much walking, plus my home is a barefoot zone. On the Andes part of the trip, besides cankles I had sore torn-up painful feet.

In the Galapagos Islands, I bought a pair of flip-flops which brought some relief.

Less than six months later, I flew to Thailand. After getting off the plane, I was shocked to discover I had Ecuador feet! And my newly purchased walking shoes were digging into my flesh. But it was just the beginning!

Walking around Bangkok was torture! Next day I purchased a pair of thong sandals which I wore for the rest of the trip. However, there was lots of climbing as well as walking on the trip.

In Chiang Mai, I wanted to experience a Fish Massage. First, two men washed & bandaged my swollen bloody feet. When I rolled up my loose trousers, I was surprised at how tight they’d suddenly become. Back at the hotel, in my underwear, I couldn’t recognize my own legs in the mirror. I was shocked at how big my calves had become!

My trip was only half over, and I was in pain. However I was determined this was not going to slow me down!

In Mae Hong Son, I was surprised upon seeing a man wearing a TRUMP T-shirt. I gave him the finger, but he didn’t see me.

Both Ecuador & Thailand turned out to be too Third World for my taste. Among other things, I didn’t want to stand in long lines every month to pay my utility bills nor take a bus for 8 hours to see a movie; along with many other deal breakers.

And since then, both countries have gone thru negative changes that would have forced me to move had I expatriated. The result of a major change in government just as here!

Once home, my feet & calves soon returned to normal size. Of course, I’d gone on a strict fruit & vegetable diet. My weight plummeted to 118 lbs. I don’t care what Madison Ave says, scrawny and boney isn’t attractive! I looked much healthier and better when I gained some weight back.

Since then, I’ve twice had a cankle, first on the left foot, then on the right. The first was due to injury, the other too much salt. Both times, I looked like a human fiddler crab. But thankfully, both were temporary.

And as for Trump; please do us all a favor, have a stroke and croak!!!

WINN DIXIE DAYS

 

Now a memory.

In 1999 when my father & I first moved to Vero Beach, we were surprised to see a Winn Dixie supermarket being constructed only a short distance from us. We couldn’t understand why one was being built way out here, so far beyond the city limits.

Back then, going to or leaving town felt like driving thru a country lane, lush with orange groves and pastures. It was part of the appeal of moving here! In fact there was an orange grove directly across from our subdivision. We fell in love with this one because it resembles an old-fashioned neighborhood. Every home is different and has character.

But sadly, almost immediately the area around us began changing! The orange grove across the street disappeared and a cookie-cutter subdivision went up in its place. That subdivision was named The Grove, although not one orange tree remained!

Not long after, the other groves and pastures as well were plowed under for more subdivisions, shopping malls, and businesses. Shortly after my father’s death in 2001 a Publix shopping mall was built just around the corner where previously there was only wilderness.

Soon, came a CVS drug store and a Walgreens across from one another. And the sprawl continues to expand!

The Winn Dixie near me has closed. Currently it’s an empty sad-looking ghost building. An Aldi is scheduled to replace it sometime next year.

I’ve been assured that shopping will be cheaper there. But I miss Winn Dixie’s seafood & bakery. They were the best!  And for Valentine’s Day they sold the hugest, most delicious strawberries covered in thick dark chocolate. – The other stores didn’t compare!

And I miss the friendly and helpful staff. Winn Dixie didn’t have a high volume of employee turnover like Publix or Walmart. Many were older folks around my age who stayed. I hope they are all okay now and have moved on to better things.

SIX SEASONS OF HANDMAIDENS

 

I’ve been streaming for less than a year with only a few paid sites to save money, all with (ugh) commercials. However now I’m able to watch series that were once unavailable to me. One that has been on my wish list for years is THE HANDMAID’S TALE. I recently binge watched this and I must say it didn’t disappoint!

My hat is off to Margaret Atwood author of the novel this series is based upon. She has truly created something extraordinary that will be remembered forever.

I watched this over so many evenings it began to feel like a dystopian soap opera. However, soap operas have their appeal and are addictive. Plus, this one was particularly gripping, not to mention scary, since I can see something similar happening now due to our current political climate. Twenty years ago, I never imagined it possible that the United States could ever be taken over by a cult.

The only issue I had was with the casting. I find it unbelievable Commander Waterford who had an accomplished wife as beautiful as a supermodel, would cheat behind her back with the bovine Offhead/June.

On the other hand, it reminded me of the true story about the poor lobster fisherman’s son whose mom sent him off to school every day with a lobster sandwich because that’s all they could afford. He envied his classmates, drooling over their peanut butter sandwiches.

I love chocolate truffles, but if I had them every day, they would cease to be special.

After completing Season 5, and half-way thru Season 6 the final one, I found myself suddenly locked out of HULU for which I was paying! I was informed that now I required a Disney account to access it which would add to my ongoing bill!

Geez, I’m an adult! I didn’t want the damn Disney! I have no interest in seeing people frolicking and singing with woodland creatures. I’d sooner see them fornicating with forest animals!

I was forced to call my $150 per hour tech guy. The one who set me up streaming. I resented having to do this! However, he solved the problem.

Thankfully I was able to finish watching this series that I enjoyed. It’s also a cautionary tale that shouldn’t be ignored.

APPLIANCE RELIANCE

 

Refrigerators & freezers like their owners grow old and die in similar ways. First come the popping cracking noises followed by moaning and growing in misery and eventually incontinence. When you find a puddle by your fridge you can blot it up with a Depend's diaper, but its life is near the end.

Maybe it's because I'm alone but I get attached to my appliances. A friend reminded me they can't love you back. But I don't need them to! I'm not that emotionally needy.

My oldest appliances feel like family. Others are like employees whom I've worked with; some are better at their job than others.

I still miss my first microwave oven. Never once did I need to move food around during mid cycle to ensure it cooked thoroughly. Ditto for my previous toaster oven! It was larger & simpler to operate. My current one required reading a manual to operate.

Back in the day before DVRs I went thru a slew of VCRs. One, a cheap off brand, (I swear to God) could miraculously record programs even during a power outage! Sadly, it broke after only two years and the brand was discontinued.

In the old days appliances were made to last! The space heater I brought to Vero Beach had to be at least 50 when it died. I was age 55 at the time and I remember it being used to heat our home when I was an infant. My parents brought it down from Michigan in 1952.

My current refrigerator is the best one I've ever owned! It's a gorgeous gigantic silver & black one. I purchased the spring of 2004 before the back-to-back hurricanes hit in the fall. This was two years before I lost a staggering amount of money in what my (then) financial advisor assured me was a safe investment. It’s still running fine as of this writing.

However, I’ve had 3 garage freezers since 2005! The last one (I just replaced) was purchased in 2017. I remember well the day it arrived; I’d had cataract surgery that morning and it was delivered that afternoon. The thing didn’t even last 10 years!

I was recently told by a salesman in the appliance dept that newer models are deliberately designed by the manufacturers to last only between 5 to 7 years forcing customers to replace them sooner.

This sucks, they should be ashamed!

I WANT "MY BIRTHDAY" PARADE

 

President Bone Spurs just spent 40 million or more to throw himself a military birthday parade. I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around that amount. Wouldn’t this be better served to help the citizens of our country and the environment instead of cutting or eliminating services altogether. We are not being governed, we’re being plundered! The actual waste and fraud is the man currently occupying the White House.

This guy is a draft dodger who called our veterans suckers & losers. Why he received even ONE vote in ANY election is beyond me! And did I forget to mention he’s also a convicted felon, rapist, & career grifter for whom lying is as natural as breathing. He belongs in prison, NOT the White House!

Bone spurs phooey! I’ve seen photos of him playing tennis. He’s a coward who was afraid to serve! He’s nothing but a big baby always whining about something. Yet this chicken TACO threw himself a military parade like those of dictator Kim Jong Un in North Korea.

Speaking of Kim Jong Un, we share the same birthday, January 8.

AND here’s a fun, little known fact: January 8 was once a big federal holiday in the USA comparable to July 4, (Google it) this was to commemorate the Battle of New Orleans. Unfortunately, our Civil War ended this holiday permanently.

Sometimes I dance around my house bellowing out The Battle of New Orleans song. It’s the kind of tune that makes you want to get up and do a jig! It was a popular song played on all the radio stations during the 1950’s when I was a kid.

The Civil War has been over for a long time now. I think January 8 should be reinstated as a federal holiday with parades! And leading them should be all the grown-up January 8 babies proudly singing The Battle of New Orleans! The crowd can clap their hands, stomp their feet, or sing right along.

Oh, and by the way, I proudly participated in the No Kings protest on Flag Day June 14. And plan to protest in any future ones until Dictator Don is history!

TOPAZ WATERS & MEMORIES

 

My latest novel A BALMY WINTER ON TOPAZ WATERS (available on Amazon) was based much upon my personal experiences. I lived in Hobe Sound briefly as a child in first grade. So, there was absolutely no lust, adultery, or backstabbing then. However, I observed a lot of this later in life. My own parents became part of such a triangle.

I set this story in Hobe Sound because during the 1950’s it was one of the most scenic and beautiful places I’d ever seen. This was long before the crowds and concrete.

The gorgeous acreage on the Intracoastal Waterway that I describe in my novel was exactly like the one my family rented. Nowadays you’d have to be a millionaire to rent a similar property, but things were different back then. Even the vibrant floral lane was exactly that!

And the family-owned donut shop in the novel existed as well! It sold the most delicious donuts I’ve ever tasted before or since.

Another reason I set the story during the late 1950’s was due to the fact it was on the verge of the cultural shift that arrived in the 1960’s.

Bikini bathing suits were considered scandalous as well as trashy. When the main character Ellen Lanfred discovers one in a daughter’s suitcase during a brief visit, she freaks out! Her ex-husband refused to sell these in their chain of department stores. He considered them indecent.

This youngest daughter Kimberly is plucky and rebellious. She’s also a coed who has blossomed into quite a beauty. And with her sister she’s on her way to Fort Lauderdale for spring break. Mother Ellen won’t confide in Kimberly of her young lover for fear she’ll steal him. So, she goes to great lengths to prevent their meeting.

Also a major character in the story suffers from dementia. Along with cancer, this unfortunately is another area I’m too familiar. My stepmother had this condition. For a long while, my father was in denial. Eventually, her behavior became so bizarre he had no choice but to face reality. Each off-the-wall thing I describe in my novel this character did, I witnessed personally!

Every book I author is written with my whole heart and contains a little piece of my soul.

SLAM! BAM! TIS A SCAM!

 

Recently, I received a phone call from someone claiming to be from Columbia Pictures wanting to buy the rights to my novel, THE HOUSE OF SIN AND SPLENDOR, for a movie version. And they were willing to pay me $300,000.

First of all, I’d want $500,000.  And second, I see this story as more of a series, since it encompasses many decades unfolding thru characters’ conversations, along with a past life hypnotic regression of the main character Arlene.

Later, after the regression she has an out-of-body experience and visits the past guided by a ghost.

Arlene has psychic abilities which she was forced to hide and deny, due to being raised by her fanatically religious grandparents. Eventually she comes to embrace her gift.

I sat listening to this message which came up on my answering machine as Unknown Caller. The guy kept calling me Deanne – My name is Dianne!

Since I’m a senior citizen I don’t appreciate some stranger referring to me as “Hey Deanne!”

In the background I could hear numerous people on phones. If that wasn’t a scammer’s boiler room, then I don’t know what is! I could smell the stench right thru my answering machine.

It reminded me of that 1980’s Florida serial killer who roamed shopping malls carrying an empty camera. He’d approach young women and claim to be a photographer for a big modeling agency.

He’d tell them, “You have great potential. But first, you must sign papers and I left those in my car.” Naturally he was parked in a secluded spot where he’d knock them out and lock them in the trunk.

Scammers just as serial killers lure and often catch victims thru the person’s aspirations, fantasies, & egos. This is easy now! Way too much info is exposed over the internet. And these cons are getting sneakier all the time!