SCAMMERS SCRAM, YOU SCUM!!!

 

Unfortunately, some of these low life leeches have deceptively innocent looking profiles on Facebook, so I've accepted their friendship requests. Shortly after, they contact me via messenger becoming pests more noxious than cockroaches and I must block them.

These are all experts in what is called the long con. They are out to collect as much personal info as possible before hitting you up for money.

Frequently I've thought about having some fun with them since turnabout is fair play. Perhaps I should feed them lies.

Almost always they start out with, "How are you today?"

I'd respond with:  I am so miserable I'd kill myself except that my 6 kids are depending on me now that their father is in prison.

To be honest, had he not been a force of nature in the sack I would have left him years ago!

Already he has a new girlfriend, a stripper no less who shows up for connubial visits. When I think of this, it depresses the hell out of me! Thankfully he can't see the 80 lbs I've gained since his incarceration.

And I stood by him too; throwing away what little money I had on his lawyer bills. He's up on manslaughter charges, but honestly it was an accident! He didn't mean to force that bus load of church goers off a cliff! He was playing chicken with the bus when it happened. Ted was drunk at the time; he wasn't in control of his faculties so you can't really blame him!

His cell mates call him Toe-Tag Teddy. This makes me want to cry!

My current job as a phone sex worker barely pays the bills. Clients hang up on me all the time! My boss says I have a squeaky voice and no charisma. What the hell do these creeps expect when I'm feeling so down and depressed?

Oh and my kids are hungry all the time. Soon I may be forced to kill our neighbor's dog to feed them! For months now I've been making them tuna fish sandwiches from dollar store cat food mixed with expired mayonnaise. Thank goodness my kids still can't read!

They're all failing in school. --That's when they actually bother to show up! And when they do, their teachers complain they either sleep thru class or their eyes look all weird and they appear zoned out. That's the 3 older ones anyway. I wish those teachers would mind their own business!

My 4th oldest is unable to attend school due to brain damage. This happened at birth. His head hit the porcelain hard on the Walmart toilet while I was delivering. The birth was a complete surprise! I thought I was passing a kidney stone.

My youngest daughter starts school in the fall but is already dreading it. Kids make fun of her looks! Poor child inherited my buck teeth along with her father's lazy left eye and she's pigeon-toed just like her oldest brother.

And my 4 year old is a handful to say the least! He'll set fire to anything if I don't keep an eye on him! Just a few weeks ago he destroyed our neighbor's new car. But that was an accident! The car just happened to be in their garage when it went up in blazes.

My neighbor is suing, but I'm not worried. You can't get blood from a tomato just because they're both red!

I know my kids aren't perfect, but what can I do? I'm just their mother so it's out of my hands!

I can tell right away you are a sensitive soul and have a sympathetic nature. It fills me with delight that we are now friends on Facebook!

BTW my rent is overdue can you help?

SUSPICIOUS MUCH?

 

Ah Valentine's Day is nearly upon us!

I'm sure every woman who has a LinkedIn or Facebook account has been hit on by some creep or con feigning romantic interest. Since I'm single, I've had my share.

Usually they're easy to spot right away, but not always. Awhile back I posted about Borja, his LinkedIn page looked legit and he sounded convincing. The only red flag was he came on too strong and too fast. Also he was promising me not only the moon and stars, but everything beyond.

The November before the lockdown I met a friend for lunch. "What a difference a year makes," I said. "Last year at this time I thought I'd be on my honeymoon in Hong Kong with Borja by now!" -- NOT!

I laughed.

Borja asked me to "lend" him $6000 the week before our first date was scheduled. THAT ended him for me!

Later on Facebook, some guy kept posting on my Timeline and messaging me how much he enjoyed my posts. He said we have the same sense of humor and other things in common so he must meet me. I'll call him, Mr. Underrock.

He claimed to live in Hobe Sound. I lived there briefly during first grade and gave him the name of the lane my family resided on.

He insisted upon scheduling a date to meet me. I explained that I was asexual and not looking for romance. He assured me he was fine with that. We would meet at the Vero Beach Museum of Art and from there he would take me out to lunch.

I had 700 plus Facebook friends at the time and couldn't keep track of all of them. So I looked at his Timeline and to my horror remembered that I had rejected his friendship request. The reason being not just one red flag, but a field of them!

For one, his Timeline was vague. He had zero friends! --Getting a Facebook friend is easier than finding a stray dog at the pound! And his only photo was that of a mural, no other posts!  Also it stated he had only "visited" Hobe Sound in 2020.

I began questioning if he actually was who he said. Now I truly wondered what plans he had in store for me after we met.

Confronting him, he was equally sketchy. Wasting nary a second I BLOCKED Mr. Underrock!

OH MADONNA & OTHERS, TOO

 

First and foremost, I've never been a fan of this singer and so-called actress. It feels strange that I find myself defending her now. But someone needs to!

Not long ago I saw recent photos of her online. She was attired in a tight black corset and appeared to have undergone more than a tad of plastic surgery. Beneath these photos were a slew of highly negative and ugly comments.

Mostly stating how unnatural appearing and unattractive she had become. I wondered if these people were viewing the same pictures I was seeing! I thought she looked beautiful! Of course there were changes from her younger days but far from unattractively so.

She did that tight black corset proud! How she keeps, or got her body that way is no one else's business!

Most criticized her for not accepting her age and embracing it. -- Why should she? Why should any woman?

And no, I have NOT undergone plastic surgery, Botox or any of that myself, the only reason being that I am too poor to afford it.

But often I've been accused of having had stuff done and I have to laugh. My firm skin is the result clean living and common sense. -- However there's always room for improvement! If I had the money I'd have everything lifted, sucked, or tucked! There is no shame in taking pride in one's appearance!

Remember that shaving your legs, armpits, and plucking your eyebrows is altering your natural appearance as well!

I've read that vanity is a weakness, in some cases it is, but it can also be a major strength!

At age 47 I underwent an expensive smile make-over. It gave me confidence and pride in myself I'd never known before. Even now at age 72 when I look in the mirror I'm not ashamed to say that I love the image smiling back at me.

In Madonna's case and that of other celebs what people fail to take into account is they're part of the entertainment industry. They have a brand and image to maintain. Had she allowed herself to age naturally, she would have been denigrated for that reason as well and probably by all those same people.

Life is full of no win situations and our society is not kind to older women. My personal philosophy is to always be good to myself because others are not. Call it my religion, I live by this!

A TEN YEAR PLAN, THINK AGAIN

 

"Where do you see yourself in ten years?" I've always detested that question! And tomorrow I turn 72 the same age as my mother when she died. Mom was a trip and memorable for all the wrong reasons.

I'm not expecting to die this year, (knock-on-wood) my mother was diagnosed with cancer at age 71 and by that time it had spread.

Never can I be sure what's going to happen tomorrow much less ten or even five years ahead.

Every time I've tried to make a plan, life would blindside me throwing everything on the floor scattered and broken like glass chess pieces. I'd pick them up, glue them back together and come up with a new plan; only to have the same exact thing happen.

So I'd buy a new chess set. And wait to see how other things play out before moving my pieces, hoping all of them would be correct, but it seemed they never were.

Actually I never learned to play chess. I wanted a set for Christmas when I was twelve. I watched kids play it at school and it looked like fun. However my mother refused, claiming I wasn't smart enough to learn anything that complicated.

I've read that our intelligence is inherited from the mother. So that doesn't say much for her!

2022 was a miserable and lousy year for a number of reasons. Also last year came many notable famous deaths as well as personal ones.

For example Queen Elisabeth of England, she was one I expected to go on forever; even long after the rest of us are gone. Unfortunately no one is immortal.

Then, came the death of versatile actress/comedienne Kirstie Alley. We were the same age and our birthday's close together. Ironically she died of colon cancer that spread, same as my mother!

One of my favorite original Dianne knock-knock jokes features Kirstie, read below:

Knock knock!

Who's there?

Kirstie Alley!

Kirstie Alley who?

Kirstie Alley cat who peed in my flower bed!

It seems less funny to me now that she's dead. Yes, I'm one of those people who chuckles at my own jokes.

2022 was also the year my remaining cousins all died. They were brothers of varying ages and I found it shocking that all passed within the same year.

The youngest, the one who always took the best care of himself died from two different kinds of cancer as well as a weak heart.

Death doesn't frighten me but other things do!

Thanks to modern healthcare our elderly live longer than nature ever intended. That's why we are now warehousing so many feeble old people!

My two older cousins were doddering dementia patients. This fate also befell my stepmother along with several dear and close friends. This is truly scary, I would prefer death!

I still recall every detail of my 25th birthday including what I ate for dinner. But nowadays I'm forced to wrack my brain to remember what I cooked the night before. And too many times I find myself standing before the wrong kitchen cabinet to retrieve something I know is in the opposite one, but it doesn't dawn on me immediately.

Equally disturbing are those evenings when I'm holding my DVR remote in my hand and I have to stop and think which button to press which I should know automatically by now.

I HOPE THESE ARE ONLY MINOR SYMPTOMS OF AGING AND NOTHING MORE!

I would never want to go on living after my mind is gone. Personally, I think dementia and Alzheimer's patients should be euthanized. This is merciful!!! I know there are people reading this who think I'm terrible for that. They seem to believe that letting these patients linger is kind. -- Actuality it's cruel!!!

CHRISTMAS SHOPPING, SENIOR STYLE

 

This year all my gift shopping was done at the supermarket. I put together individualized gourmet bags containing cookies & crackers, chocolate truffles, flavored teas/ coffees, dates, nuts, jams, etc.; items that don't require immediate refrigeration.

With the current price of groceries these have become luxury items! And remember this time of the year groceries add specialty items that disappear after the holidays.

We are older ladies who don't need another bauble or dust collector, plus we already have a plethora of fragrant candles, faux fur throws, hand lotions, and scented soaps; but we still like to eat.

One Christmas, a friend gifted me with a large bottle of PURE maple syrup. Most on the store shelves are just maple-flavored corn syrup. Groceries do carry the pure but it's far more expensive, however it's worth the price and healthier. I love the taste over ice cream or plain Greek yogurt with a variety of nuts, ditto for honey.

Most of my friends, like me do not drink alcohol; one who does can't anymore for health reasons, doctor's orders.

Food gifts are always welcome as long as it is something the recipient can eat and enjoy! Besides gourmet, many supermarkets also have an international section which is interesting and fun.

Other items seniors appreciate are eyeglass stands and large print anything; also gift cards & movie passes. And since many of us live alone I would add hand sirens and mace.

Also postage stamps, especially eye-catching commemoratives with exotic flowers or birds, even movie stars. Years back some featured the gorgeous likenesses of Marilyn Monroe & Audrey Hepburn. 

Nowadays I purchase gifts only for a small few since most of my friends have either died or moved away. This makes the ones remaining all the more special and precious.

STROLLING & SCROLLING IN THE SLOW LANE

 

I'll admit I'm not an interesting person, I'm aware of that. However I'm not trying nor want to be a social influencer. From what I've seen most of these are bad influences, probably why they are popular. I just want peace and serenity.

In the past I've known a lot of drama that was unwelcome. I would have been happier without it. Thankfully those human toxins have been expunged from my life either thru death or banishment.

But now there's Facebook! Around Thanksgiving I posted that no matter the holiday I always make deviled eggs. I was taken aback when someone posted beneath it in all capitals: "YOU ARE THE DAMN MOST BORING PERSON! HERE'S A NICKEL TO GET A LIFE & DON'T FORGET YOUR 3 CENTS CHANGE!"

This hateful statement came from one of my 500 plus so-called Facebook friends of several years, although a remote one. This was a man whose friendship invitation I was foolish enough to accept. And this was his first ever post on my page. I did not know this stranger from a piece of dirt!

Of course it was upsetting! I've been attacked for my politics before but this was personal. If that was his opinion why didn't he just unfriend me? Why did he feel it necessary to post that!

Naturally I was tempted to reply I enjoy my boring life and to stick that nickel up his butt hole where he keeps his manners, also to mind his own business. But I felt that would open the flood gates to trolls.

It didn't merit a reply so I just blocked and deleted. Still steaming, the next day I posted all in capitals: "WHEN I CLICK TO BLOCK SOME PEOPLE I WISH IT WOULD SIMULTANEOUSLY DELIVER AN ELECTRIC SHOCK THAT WOULD SET THEIR HAIR ON FIRE!!!" -- And I meant every word of it.

Geez, what the heck was this person expecting from me? I'm a 70 plus senior woman on a fixed income with doctor bills and health issues and don't forget runaway inflation! I can no longer afford to do all the fun and interesting things I used to do only a few years ago. Mostly I'm homebound these days.

Even going out to lunch with friends or by myself has become a rare luxury.

However I've no problem finding ways to entertain myself. I enjoy writing (novels & blogging) reading news stories online, watching movies, & creating new recipes or coming up with new twists to old ones -- and Facebook but not always!

Too bad if my lifestyle doesn't impress anyone!

If I want drama and excitement all I have to do is sit down to write. Always I've a novel mapped out in my head or in progress on my computer. My creative well never runs dry.

And my dull life has produced many fascinating books filled with flawed people displaying their ugly character warts as they engage in mischief that goes against the better angels of human nature. Inspiration is everywhere!

And I might add that I've seen hundreds of Facebook pages; frankly I don't think I'm any more boring than anyone else. I notice lots of meals posted. These are of no particular interest to anyone except perhaps the person consuming them. Yet I understand why they are posted. These are part of their lives just as my deviled eggs are part of mine!

I'm allowed to be boring; in fact I revel in it!

THANKFUL

 

Frankly I'm not in a celebratory mood this holiday season. 2022 has been a stressful, sucky, and expensive year for me.

However on this Thanksgiving I must remind myself of the many things for which I am thankful.

For one, the recent hurricane did no damage to me or my property; this seems miraculous since it came ashore here.

Also I am one of the few people I know that never came down with even a mild case of Covid. I attribute this to the fact I wore a mask overlong. The reason being to hide my bandaged face.

And I am indeed thankful that despite the dermatologist's prognosis I didn't end up with a disfiguring scar although my face had a pit that was deep and wide. And I refused to pay a plastic surgeon for stitches because this was sprung on me directly after surgery; I had not budgeted for this! Yes, I now have a scar on my face but it's so slight you can barely see it.

However this did not happen by magic! I never allowed my wound to dry up. I kept it constantly moist with petroleum jelly. I bandaged up before bedtime and before going out. So now I don't need any stink'n plastic surgeon!

Often this area still stings and pinches, but I'm told this is a positive thing. The nerve endings are returning.

After paying over $2000 in all at a different Dermatology Clinic the latest biopsy on my nose thankfully proved benign. However the chronic itch remains and can't be explained.  I should have just bought a tube of Cortisone cream and saved myself a whole lot of money. But I realize that chances should never be taken with the possibility of a skin cancer!

Those expensive blood tests revealed a high hemoglobin count. Since I've never been a smoker I was told this is due to an excess of vitamins.

Yes I do take lots of nutritional supplements. That's the reason my hair has grown back! If I stopped, people would be calling me cue ball and melon head behind my back. Now I'm thankful they don't have the opportunity!

Plus I take a lot of these supplements to keep my acid reflex under control. The alternative is an agony akin to torture! It's as if someone shoved a flame-thrower down my throat and duct-taped it to my body! Prescription medication has side effects as well as long term consequences, no thank you!

The cooler air has returned! (Ahhh) Hope it lasts thru spring or at least until I can afford to have my old and dead air-conditioner replaced.

And of course I'm thankful that sanity prevailed in the recent Midterm Elections, in many states anyway.