TASTING GREAT LITERATURE

I used to read more books just for pleasure. These days between researching and writing my own books, my blog, and that huge time-suck called Facebook, hours seem to zoom by at warp speed.

Magazines (even dated second hand ones) are fun and interesting.   Plus I enjoy a good old-fashioned newspaper. I still read mine sprawled out on the floor as I did when I was a kid. Also there's so many interesting articles online, too.

A Facebook friend chided me for not making time to read more books. "You could fit in at least 10 pages a day!" she declared. -- I absolutely love it when someone dictates how to spend MY free time!

"I read 3 books a week!" another poster added with pride. -- Well give you a fuzzy lollipop, lady, and a hairy jelly bean, too!

Had my father been alive, he would have criticised her for not doing something more productive with her time. I used to delight in curling-up with a READER'S DIGEST. Whenever my dad caught me, he'd berate me for not doing something useful. He thought my writing was a waste of time, too. -- That's what kept me sane!!!

The books I love the most, are usually the ones most people seldom read.

Guess I should be ashamed, because I've never read GONE WITH THE WIND. But the movie was awful enough, thank you! I was gagging on ham and corn all through it. Geez, I hope the book is a lot better. In nearly every scene, Scarlett O'Hara carried on like a spoiled 5 year old. (Or perhaps that was Vivian Lee's fault.) How can anyone describe this character as a strong woman, or a role model? Scarlett O'Hara navigated life by using others. Isn't this the trait of a weak person.

O'Hara is best remembered for her quote, "If I have to lie, steal, cheat, or kill! As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again!" For a decent human being, lying, cheating, stealing, and killing would be a desperate act of last resort.

Guess Scarlett wasn't clever enough to figure out how to make a fishing pole. Georgia is abundant with lakes and streams! All that land around the plantation must have supported wild game. (There weren't many vegetarians back then.) Geez, I thought most Southern women knew how to shoot! Or she could trap! If I remember correctly, she had at least 2 servants remaining. Doubt she'd be doing any skinning or gutting, herself! And wasn't her main goal in life to break-up her sister-in-law's happy marriage! -- Rhett Butler finally wised up in the end.

Never would I waste my money on 50 SHADES OF CRAP, or whatever its called. It amazes me that so many women who make meals of salad to eschew putting garbage in their bodies have no problem putting it into their heads!

Besides, when it comes to fiction, I'd much rather see a movie. I prefer history books. Also I love a good paranormal publication, too, if it has some basis in fact, or a plausible theory behind it. If you are one of the few people who read my blog, you know I am a firm believer in ghosts. Biographies and autobiographies, I find interesting if they are NOT about pop celebrities.

I will never forget I WILL SURVIVE by Sala Pawlowicz, a riveting autobiography I read in High School. As a young Polish teenager, Sala was dispatched to several concentration camps. I couldn't say in an oral book report the humiliating degradations to which she was subjected. And because she was pretty, Sala was targeted for special abuse by the female guards. One vowed to see her die! To save herself, Sala took a dangerous risk that could easily have cost her life. Sala Pawlowicz was a strong heroine in reality!

The new novel LET IT BE by Vero Beach author Rush Roberts is an autobiography fictionalized to protect the innocent. Rush came from a family far more dysfunctional than mine. Yet, unlike me, he managed to earn a college degree and become a highly useful member of society.

I've heard on excellent authority this is a gripping read. It also has plenty of humor. This would make an amazing movie on the big screen! Remember, everything in this book actually happened! Rush is a a regular person brimming with talent, courage and a strong, indomitable core.

Despite all the dysfunction, Rush Roberts had one huge advantage in life. He is blessed with an outstanding mother. Donna Roberts Mitchell is a successful businesswoman and dynamic radio personality. Often I've enjoyed her acting and powerful singing voice in many Vero Beach Theatre Guild productions. She's a mover and shaker here in Vero Beach! I'm proud to know her.

Clearly, she is a mother who adores her son. I believe she made all the difference in his life.  He inherited those extraordinary genes.   Rush Roberts will be OK no matter what. Because of his book, he might even become a celebrity.

THE ULTIMATE MOVIE SPECTACULAR VIXEN

Chelo Alonso was the woman for whom twelve and a half year old me would have gladly gone gay! No actress since has oozed with such primitive animal magnificence and power. Her dark eyes smoldered with a seductive slant that was both exotic and erotic. However, unlike most actresses today, there was nothing vulgar about Chelo.

The summer of 1963 was a usual hot, sticky, often stormy one. My then best friend Dayle and I spent much time in a cool, darkened theatre. Wednesday nights we went to see the latest movies out of Hollywood. But we especially loved Saturday matinees.

These were the European (usually Italian) movie spectacles with a cast of thousands. Dubbed in English, sometimes lips moved after a character had finished talking. Or an actor spoke via a closed mouth. I recall a pirate movie in which an outdoor scene was obviously filmed on a stage setting. One did not need 20 20 vision to notice the stars were really lights strung together by wires. A big artificial-yellow moon hung in one corner. My father called them cheesy. But that was part of the fun!

The first time I saw Chelo Alonso up on the screen I was transfixed. Her perfect figure was tightly clad in peekaboo leather as she strutted about in boots, whip in hand. Long before Xena Warrior Princess was Tonja Queen of the Tartars! There was a mystique to her. Sandra Dee never interested me. I wanted to be Chelo Alonso!

I assumed she was either an Italian actress, or a Spaniard with perhaps Moroccan blood. Only recently did I learn she was actually Cuban and Mexican. Hailed as the Cuban H-Bomb, Chelo had been an exotic dancer at the Folies Bergere in Paris. You had better believe she was noticed! In one film she upstaged the star, statuesque Swedish beauty Anita Ekberg of La Dolce Vita fame.

Chelo Alonso was far grander than her films. Hollywood should have been paying attention. Gorgeous and talented, she deserved super stardom!!! Chelo Alonso even replaced Debra Paget as my favorite actress. Whom up until then I thought was the most beautiful woman ever to grace the planet.

Dayle was impressed by her, too, but not to my extent. Chelo always played a woman in control, at least in the movies I saw. This was an entire decade before the woman's liberation movement. In 1963 most women still aspired to be a secretary who would marry the boss. Chelo was the antithesis of that! Whether heroine or villain, (She played both with equal elan.) her characters wielded power. To a backward pre-teen with none, this was highly appealing.

My friendship with Dayle did not survive the summer. (Mainly due to conflict between our parents.) It ended around the latter part of July. But my girl-crush on Chelo endured. Alone, I continued attending Saturday matinees to enjoy her movies.

Unfortunately, summer drew to a close. In September I began school in a different city. Soon everything would change dramatically. Out-of-the-blue life took a drastic turn. It would be the first of many times the ground would drop from under me. An unpleasant new reality ensued, a long dark period that would stretch on for decades. My Saturday movie habit ended. It would not resume until my fifties.

For awhile, Chelo Alonso movies started turning up on TV. Sadly though, I haven't seen one in decades, not even on the retro stations. Chelo Alonso deserves her own film festival! She is someone never to be forgotten!

Her influence remains an integral part of me. Late in my fifties I purchased a pair of black high-heeled gladiator boots. And I thought of Chelo Alonso. Thumbs up to you, Chelo, where ever you are!

THE MOVIE THIEF

A meal OR a movie, period! That was the choice given with every man I dated after moving to Vero Beach. (None of these guys were poor.) I figured the heck with men! I'd designate my own date-day and treat myself to both! No one can make me happier than myself.

Ahhh, I was free to select the movie I wanted and eat where I pleased. Plus never was I required to politely pretend interest in every utterance out of a man's mouth. It was a wonderfully happy, carefree time. But it was brief.

First, came the double hurricane strike of 04 and its expensive damage to my house. My Insurance Co. didn't exactly come riding in on a white horse with a big check. I was forced to pay the lions share myself! Second, I was hit by a staggering financial loss in my investments that was life altering. Suddenly, most of my disposable income was gone. I was forced into major changes.

Crap! Now it was back to the choice of either a movie OR a meal! Since a movie was the least expensive, I chose that. I'd prepare myself a favorite meal with a rich dessert after returning home.

Exiting a movie early one afternoon, I noticed a line of people entering another I had planned to see. No ushers were in sight. Quickly and quietly, I slipped into that line. I copped a freebie!!!

It's true what they say about the slippery slope. This became my new hobby! Every Friday morning, the 1st thing I did, even before coffee was to scope the movie openings in the newspaper. I'd note the ending time, then figure out what I could sneak into afterward. -- My buy one, steal one free deal.

Always I started early because I wanted to be home before dark. I refuse to drive at night.

I had two other rules! ONE: I'd pay for the movie I wanted to see most. TWO: If I couldn't get a freebie, I'd stay home. However, with multiple screens this was rare, often I saw TWO FOR FREE! Usually, I went Saturdays as well. On the weekend, I lived at the movies! The only drawback was that my backside got sore from sitting so long.

However, I never ate theatre fare. It's just OVER-PRICED junk food! Usually with multiple movies, I'd just come home to my favorite Stouffer's 5 Cheese Lasagna or French Bread Pizza followed by a rich bakery dessert or premium ice-cream. I was too tuckered out from watching all those movies to cook.

Now I consider myself an honest person. I felt a tinge of guilt. Yet, a part of me was proud of how much money I was saving! Plus it was fun!

At the time, I was still in group therapy. We found ourselves discussing things we did that made us ashamed. Red-faced, I confessed to being a movie thief! Loud uproarious laughter surrounded me.

"We all do that, Dianne!" stated a woman sitting kitty-corner from me. "Most of us here are seniors on fixed incomes. We're forced to make our money stretch."

"My husband and I always get at least 4 movies per visit," said another. "And we always smile and nod at the others who follow us from movie-to movie. We plan to resume after my husband recovers from his operation and is out of his wheelchair."

TALK ABOUT YOUR SENIOR DISCOUNT! HEY! HEY!

In time, I stopped worrying about getting caught. BIG MISTAKE! Early one Friday before noon, I waited in the lobby for my freebie. Ushers were still inside the screen room. The theatre was nearly empty for a Friday. This was unusual. I knew it was easier to get lost in a crowd and harder for the employees to watch me. I should have tried to slip in upstairs where they couldn't see me from the service desk. Also that day, the service desk was manned by an adult. Teens are more likely to look the other way. But I had become cocky and lazy.

Without looking around, I entered and seated myself. A few minutes later, an usher entered. I tried to appear nonchalant. But my heart began to speed-up as she turned into my row and marched straight over to me. She demanded to see my ticket. Hoping she wouldn't be able to read in the dark, I pulled out my ticket for the previous movie.

I was informed that I had to purchase another ticket or leave. They were cracking down on movie-hopping!!! -- Guess that explains why the theatre was almost empty!

I tried to feign innocence. "I thought this was like Disneyland the Magic Kingdom," I told her, "and I could go on as many rides as I wanted on just one ticket."

Well no more! I was forced to do the walk-of-shame! Fortunately, only ushers were there to watch.

I asked myself why I needed to be there at all. Recently, I had signed up for the AT&T bundle. Now I was receiving movie channels for the 1st time in my life! I don't get HBO, but I do get all the STARZ, SHOWTIME channels and many others. Plus I already had 80 movies recorded on my DVR!

I decided from then on to stay home and enjoy DVR Saturday. I wouldn't have to get dressed or use up any expensive gasoline. -- This has become an event to which I look forward with much sublime anticipation. A day to be relished!

On occasion, I still turn up at the theatre for a promising 3-D flick. Sometimes I even manage to sneak in a freebie, just for old times sake.

MY STONE AGE TV DESTROYED BY BATS

The television set we brought to Vero Beach in 1999 had the biggest screen they made in 1976 when my father purchased it. It would be dwarfed by most today. This TV was also boxy and heavy. It required 2 strong men to lift it.

The final year of my father's life, he was paralyzed on one side. He dropped the remote so many times even new batteries couldn't get it working again. Whenever the channel needed changing or the sound adjusted, I got up out of my chair to do it. I didn't mind! This is what I grew up doing. We didn't even have a remote-controlled set until I was in my late teens. It was our first COLOR set as well.

Color TV existed prior to that, but the quality wasn't good. Plus most TV shows were still filmed in black & white.

When I was 14, a neighbor invited our family over to watch the movie version of PRINCE VALIANT in color. An exciting event to which we looked forward. I enjoyed the evening, but I had to agree with my parents, the color looked fake. Only a few years later, the process was perfected.

Around this time, came a marvel so wondrous, surely it must have been culled from captured UFO technology, a miracle called CABLE!!!

Previously, we received only 5 TV channels and 3 were almost always snowy. On RARE occasions, when the stars were all aligned just right, and angels and faeries danced together, all 5 would come in clear. -- This occurred about twice!

The 1976 television was considered state-of-the-art at its time of purchase.

After my father's death, visitors would take one look at it and exclaim, "Where did you get that antique!"

"It still works." I'd smile.

However, it began showing its age right around the time I lost all that money in investments when I couldn't afford to replace it. I had to be careful with the money I had left.

Whenever I'd change the station, the picture would wobble and transform into a work of modern art. Usually, I could fix the problem by banging the side with my fist. The problem always seemed to be situated in a particular spot. Trouble was, the spot moved. Sometimes I had to beat my set to find it! The illusive V spot, I called it.

I knew the digital transition was on its way. I was determined to make due until then.

Unfortunately, the TV did not survive my bat infestation. Bat turds were falling from my 30 ft. cathedral ceiling onto the TV and surrounding area. (These were American Brown Bats not Mexican Fruit Bats. Fortunately, their droppings were not guano!) The smell of bat urine filled my downstairs. I had all manor of problems! They are a protected species! (Read GOING BATTY IN MY 50's a previous blog of mine.) It was a miserable summer.

Eventually, I found a handyman with a ladder high enough to seal the ceiling. By that time, the baby bats had all grown and flown away. I returned to living downstairs once again. When I turned on my TV, there was no picture, sound, or anything! It was gone with the bats!

A final indignity to a device that had been my faithful companion for 3 decades. At its purchase, I was a 25 year old blonde hottie excitedly preparing for an upcoming trip to Ireland. At its end, I was a post menopausal red-haired woman in her mid-50's unsure of her future.

When my new TV arrived with the 52 inch screen, I remarked that I'd be in my 80's if it lasted as long as the old one.

"It won't!" declared the deliveryman. "Around 12 years is about the most you can expect."

It lasted 4 years!!! I bought a floor model. I didn't know it, but it was already obsolete when I purchased it. -- Guess that's why it was on sale so cheap!

My current TV has a 55 inch screen for which I probably payed too much.

SEARS PHOTO FINISHED

Recently, I updated my photo on Facebook. The old picture was not yet a year old. Plus I liked it. It had the look of an old timey painting. However, because of the red hat and blouse, too many people got the idea I am a Tea Party supporter. (GAG!) Also the pose made me appear so cultivated and genteel. In other words, everything I am NOT!

Also I changed my cover picture. My Facebook Timeline could now be called the exotic woman and the dinosaur. 
 
I wanted something more reflective of me and my love of costumes. While attending business networking lunches, I often wear one and incorporate it into my speech.

I decided to channel SCHEHERAZADE, the storyteller and crafty heroine of ONE THOUSAND AND ONE NIGHTS. I call this my woman of the sands and caravans look.

As for the dinosaur, I feel like one! And like all Baby Boomers extinction is right around the corner.

For professional portraits, I've always relied on the SEARS PORTRAIT STUDIO in the Mall. I almost decided against this particular shoot. As I stated, my other photo was still fairly new. I didn't want to spend any more money. But then I received a big discount online! This was around Christmas. It would be a present to myself!

I made a wise decision. Shortly after, the SEARS PORTRAIT STUDIO closed its doors forever! This was devastating news. Their prices were reasonable compared to other photographers.

My one issue with this studio was there were no touch-ups or photo shopping. Unfortunately, I've reached the age where I need some of that. I complained they were senior-unfriendly! The photographer explained that they were mass produced and if they took the time to do it, I'd be paying a lot more.

Despite that, they managed to do a great job! I know 22 year old me would have been thrilled and proud of the way 62 year old me looks. After they were posted on Facebook, I received a marriage proposal from a stranger, plus a modeling offer. I turned down both.

Actually, I would have accepted the modeling shoot except for the fact I had other things going on that day. The modeling offer was an unpaid one. Plus I'm too old and imperfect to model anyway.

I've heard said that you photograph only as good as your photographer.

Lots of credit goes to Nikki, the most recent photographer at the studio. I requested her by name when I spoke to the SEARS representative. She's a young woman in her mid-20's. I could tell this was a passion, her career, rather than just a mere job.

A previous SEARS photographer, (The who shot my Blog photo) was not in her category. Another 20-something, she expected me to pose myself with little or no input from her. I told her, "I can't see myself." I suggested putting a mirror behind her, so at least I'd have some idea.

Then she advised we try a shot with me sitting on the floor. "Are you able?" she inquired. From her tone, it sounded like she was afraid I might break a hip. -- I was insulted!!!

Even today I read my newspaper sprawled across the floor the way I did as a kid! (Yes I still subscribe to a newspaper.) And at 62 I'm spry enough to take my stairs 2 steps at a time! Geez! -- Hope she's back waiting on tables!

Nikki deserves her own studio! Her input was invaluable.

The SEARS PORTRAIT STUDIO holds memories for me. Unfortunately, it has gone the way of APPLEBEES Maple Blondie dessert, (my favorite!) recently discontinued in Vero Beach. I will sadly miss them both. All the good stuff, plus all the old reliables seem to be disappearing.

REFLECTIONS ON THE ROACH

Inside my house, I have caught lizards, bees, wasps, even snakes and a bat. I took them all outside to freedom. However, my compassion does not extend to cockroaches (or children!) Whenever I spot one in my home my reaction is the same as if it was a burglar. -- I want it DEAD and out of here!

As I opened my front door early one morning, 2 small cockroaches rushed inside! I was barefoot. Not having time to reach for the spray or fly-swatter, I slapped them both dead with my hand. -- Hands are easier to clean than feet.

Usually, when dealing with roaches, I prefer a fly-swatter. Insecticide has toxic fumes! --My house is closed shut nearly half the year due to air-conditioning. I don't want that poison in my lungs! Also spray takes too long to kill them. The roaches flail and flop around like a ham Hollywood actor in a death scene. Worse, they prefer going behind my oven or washing machine to go belly-up, someplace where I can't retrieve and properly dispose of the body. This becomes embarrassing when I'm forced to call a repairman.

One had the nerve to imply that if I was a better housekeeper, I wouldn't have bugs!

My mother and step-mother were both immaculate housekeepers, yet we still had cockroaches, along with all the other creatures. My father refused to pay an exterminator because they were not an every day pest. I agree. Besides, this is Florida! Our state bird is the cockroach, or it should be. And we have giant ones, too!

A few decades back, a national pest control company held a contest. The biggest cockroach carcass would win! Anyone who has grown up in this state knows how to give themself a winning edge. But it involves cheating! -- Just catch a roach, put it in a jar, poke holes in the top, toss in a cookie piece and a soggy bread crust. Before long, you'll have a home-grown monster!

Of course I'd go them one better. I'd add a dampened vitamin pill. I know I could have easily won! -- Unfortunately, I learned of this contest too late.

When I was a child, a visiting Aunt claimed to have seen a monster cockroach in our guesthouse. It kept her awake all night! "The creature was the size of a lemon!" she exclaimed.

"Oh that's nothing," I replied. "We found one under the sink the size of a banana!" My mother shot me a dirty look. She'd deal with me later. But my aunt bought it! That was fun!

In our former home, my father often doused our kitchen with pesticide before we retired for the night. The fumes spread throughout the entire house. This made me gag! I never could get it across that he was shortening our lives! -- He probably didn't care!

I rarely get out of bed to snack, (almost never) however one night long ago, I just couldn't get that turkey pasta salad out of my head. Half-asleep I switched on the light. Glaring at me from the middle of the refrigerator was a behemoth! I reached for the can of pesticide on the counter and sprayed dead-on! This leviathan flew directly at me, landing in my hair! I jumped wildly, shaking and twisting my body doing the most bizarre dance you could ever imagine. The bug clung tight! Eventually, it dropped onto the floor and raced under the counter.

Cockroaches survived the cataclysm that obliterated the dinosaurs. They could survive a nuclear blast and gamma rays as well! These bugs will inherit the earth. (No doubt in my mind!) Long after humankind has destroyed itself, its bones turned to ash and blowing in the polluted air. The roach will evolve. Eons from now, as the sun dims and the earth cools, swarms of roaches will be climbing into their spaceships searching for other planets to infest.

ZOMBIE FEVER

While cleaning out a drawer, I found a copy of a letter I typed to a TV station when I was 15. I requested they show BLOOD ON SATAN'S CLAW for the Saturday afternoon movie. After all these decades, I still love my horror flicks! Only these days my heart has been mostly consumed by zombies. Those walking, flesh-eating abominations excite me as nothing else!

Upon the Vero Beach premiere, I went to see WORLD WAR Z in 3-D. WOW!!! I didn't want it to end. I could have sat thru that film for 3 days straight! -- I don't care spit for Brad Pitt, but zombies get my heart pumping!

The dead ones certainly have gotten physically stronger and more spry since George Romero's NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD. -- I still don't understand why no one can smell them coming. They look like they stink to high heaven!

I learned recently that WORLD WAR Z will be a trilogy. I just hope they don't keep us waiting too long!

ALSO I discovered that what we saw was not the original ending. The initial one was far darker and changed at the last minute. In that version, the plane lands safely in Russia, voracious zombies and chaos breaks loose all over again. Weak and sickly people are quickly executed. The Brad Pitt character is held against his will and coerced into becoming a zombie wilderness fighter. Meanwhile his wife has been forced to prostitute herself for food. Eventually, she becomes the sex toy of the helicopter pilot in an earlier scene. As the Russian winter sets in, the Pitt character discovers that COLD kills zombies! -- I would have enjoyed that version equally as much, if not more! So it's a bit darker, for crying out loud! This is a zombie flick! It comes with the territory.

A zombie apocalypse is indeed a possibility, according to an article I read. NO, the dead will NOT rise! A virus in the frontal lobe of the brain could transform live humans into murderous, crazed cannibals. -- I recall seeing a movie based on this premise. I believe it was titled, 28 DAYS LATER and the sequel, 28 WEEKS LATER. Perhaps there's another sequel in the works titled, 28 MONTHS LATER! Will anyone be left alive after 28 years???

Should this occur, to keep starvation at bay, we are encouraged to head for the Cat Food aisle of the supermarket. Because all others will be jammed with desperate people quickly depleting the shelves.

Personally, I've always thought those little cans of Fancy Feast sounded tasty. -- Have you seen the commercials? Sea Bass & Shrimp in a delicate broth, Cheddar Grilled Chicken & Cheese Feast in gravy; yummy, yummy, yum, yum! In my next life, I hope I return as a cat!

When I was 58, I dated a man who looked like a zombie. (He could have passed as the Crypt Keeper, too.) The guy was almost 20 years older. When a friend and I attended the Halloween Zombie Formal, I commented that if my ex-boyfriend was there, he wouldn't need a costume.

"But you love zombies!" she exclaimed.

"Only on film," I replied, "not pawing my body!"

I love movies where exciting things happen, with, or without zombies.

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Chuck Norris, & Jean Claude Van Damme are NOT my favorite action stars, neither is Jonathan Statham, nor the Pitt. No one can kick butt, zombie, or other, like Milla Jovovich! She looks spectacular doing it, too! The indestructible Alice from RESIDENT EVIL rules!

Zombies are hot now. And I've got the fever!