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Friday, September 5, 2025

NONE FOR YOU, NOSFERATU

 

NOR DRACULA, COUNT ORLOFF, OR ANY TWILIGHT VAMPIRE, CREATURE, OR CRYPTID.

I’ve become a regular blood donor. I’ll admit my reasons are less than altruistic. Each time, I’m given at least a $20 (sometimes more) discount on my groceries. Due to these stupid Trump tariffs & being on a fixed income, I really need this! Like the old lady who peed into the sea every little bit counts! – That was a common saying when I was growing up.

I’d donate every week if I could, however I’m limited to every 8 weeks.

And besides, I’m given a fun gift: a T-shirt, cap, mug, etc. Also, they have a snack station, and I’m allowed to take anything home. Usually, I choose a couple small bags of Doritos or cheddar popcorn.

Before donating, I must answer a long list of embarrassing questions that are also rather insulting, such as: “Have you ever had sex for money or drugs, or had sex with someone who has?” However, these are necessary!

A bone graft would disqualify me. I’ve had several from my dentist. Thankfully enough time has passed that this no longer counts. My bout with skin cancer also counts but doesn’t disqualify me.

The process only hurts for a quick second. Afterward I’m told, “You just lost one pound, and then I’m shown the bag of blood.”

Once, I didn’t hold my finger down long enough after the needle was removed and blood streamed down my arm. Another time, they were training a rookie and didn’t get enough from one arm and had to stick me the other one, too.

I must wait 15 minutes before leaving, in the event of side effects or me fainting. Neither has ever happened.

Before departing, I’m instructed not to lift anything heavy.

Later, I receive an email stating exactly where my blood was sent, & to someone who needed it. A WIN, WIN for all!


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