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Saturday, June 4, 2022

RIDING DYNAMITE

 

My heart's desire, my greatest childhood fantasy materialized at age seven. Life at that time felt golden. My father had recently landed a prestigious and high paying job. We moved from Hobe Sound back up the coast to the Sailfish Capitol of the World where his new job was located.

The house we rented was a sprawling one in the middle of a hundred acres overlooking a private lake with several small ponds scattered in the back and a mango grove on one side. To me it felt like paradise!

With all that acreage there was no reason not to have a horse. That's what I kept telling my parents. I had long dreamed of one. I wanted this so badly!

My horse and I would bond instantly and become best friends. Our rides together would be serene as well as treasured memories. In my mind it was all la la rainbows in the sky fantasy.  -- Probably the way a lot of young women imagine their future marriage. 

I was beyond ecstatic when my father showed me the listing in the Miami Herald. A two year old horse was for sale and Dad announced he was buying it for me. I listened with excitement as he made the call.

Late that afternoon my entire family piled in our new Chrysler Imperial for the hours long drive to Miami. The ranch was far outside the city limits and by now it was dark, but we managed to find it. The man was waiting for us.

Of course we wanted to see the horse.

"Bring out Dynamite!" he yelled. -- The name alone should have been a clue.

The man explained the horse belonged to his teenage son and was being sold as punishment. The rotten kid and his equally despicable friends had ridden him with the saddle backwards. The horse was left with sores requiring ointment. I'd need to wait until those healed before I could ride, but that was okay.

The following weekend we rented a U-haul and drove down to Miami to fetch the horse.

I disliked the name Dynamite. The horse's coat, mane, & tail were all red so I renamed him Blaze. We soon learned he had a redhead's temper too! Blaze turned out to be the horse from hell!

Under our care he was treated with kindness and given special attention. Unfortunately, sometimes all the love and tenderness in the world can't undo damage already done. Blaze hated people and there was no undoing that!

After he healed, we purchased a saddle & bridle at the Farmer's Market in West Palm Beach. Eagerly I mounted him and rode, at first being led by my grandfather and then alone. But Blaze wasted no time in acting up. He did not want to be ridden. Also he was a biter as well as a bucker.

My friend Sharla four years older had taken professional riding lessons and was already an experienced horsewoman. She was at our house almost every day during the summer and on weekends. Not because she was fond of me, but because I owned a horse and she didn't. I rode double with her.

Blaze had this habit of brushing up against bushes and low trees forcing us to lift our feet & legs to avoid being cut or scratched. When this happened my grandfather would come over with a switch.

One summer day while we were racing around Blaze made a swift sharp turn darting under a low hanging branch. Suddenly I found myself on the ground with Sharla atop me. Fortunately she grabbed the branch just in time otherwise we would have been killed or at least seriously injured!

Blaze's antics proved so dangerous that I was forbidden from riding him alone. When Sharla wasn't around I'd ride seated behind either my dad or grandfather.

Once when Blaze was being particularly obstinate Grandpa ordered Sharla and me off and mounted the horse himself. He was thrown and left unconscious. Sharla and I were there alone. But that's a memory for another blog post.

Another time Blaze attempted to trample our dog to death and even kicked-in a plate glass picture window! Florida is part of the Bible belt. A few acquaintances declared our horse demon possessed and vowed to pray for him.

In retrospect, I'm pissed at the man who sold him to us! He knew the horse was a gift for a seven year old whose experience with equines was limited mostly to pony rides at carnivals. An ethical person would have refused, with words to the effect, "I cannot in good conscience sell you a horse totally unsuitable for a small child. Find her a gentle pony that won't attempt to do bodily harm at every opportunity."

Instead, he told me, "Honey, stroke his face and speak sweetly to him every day." -- Neglecting to inform me the horse bit and the opposite end kicked!

However I do have a handful of fond memories with Blaze. Nearly every Sunday afternoon I'd hold tight to my father as we ventured thru the wilderness beyond our property. Often we'd end up on a dirt street in Port Salerno, then a small fishing village. People came out of their houses to see us and walk along side.

I felt so proud!

But one afternoon when I returned from school I discovered Blaze gone.

As I stated earlier, we were renters. After the owner discovered we'd brought a horse onto his property our rent was raised dramatically. My parents were angry and decided the time had come to finally purchase a home. They selected one within the city limits on the St. Lucie River.

I was informed my horse had been sold to a family named Lord. Later, Mr. Lord told my father he was training Blaze to become a jumper and was having difficulty keeping him away from the fillies.

Blaze was in a better place as far as we were concerned.

I was telling a friend (a Sunday school regular) in my third grade class of our recent move.

"What happened to your horse, Blaze?" she was anxious to know.

"He's at the Lord's now," I told her.

"Oh poor Blaze," she replied, clasping a hand to her cheek. "When did he die?"


Wednesday, May 18, 2022

THE FUNNEL CAKE MIXTURE EXPERIMENT

 

Although I've enjoyed county fairs and their food many times I've never gotten around to trying funnel cake.

Before going to the supermarket I like to hit the Dollar Store where many items are so much cheaper. There, I spotted a mixture for funnel cake and decided to buy it.

Once home I discovered the mixture had expired in June of the previous year. If I was going to make it, I had better hurry!

But after reading the instructions I began to rethink this. It needed to be fried in 1 cup vegetable oil. I had the olive variety which was all wrong for this. Also the last time I fried anything in oil I almost burned down my kitchen. Tongues of flames exploded almost licking the bottom of my cabinets! Fortunately I was able to smother them!

Plus I just received my latest insurance bill. The company seemed to think my house morphed into a mc-mansion overnight while transporting itself to the beach. I wasn't going to risk another hike in premiums!

So, I decided to try baking the mixture and hope for something that was at least edible. When my father was alive I baked desserts all the time. But after he passed I got out of the habit.

Grabbing my square glass pan (the one in which I used to make lemon bars) I mixed all the ingredients, plus I added generous helpings of walnuts and cinnamon.

For the baking, I decided to use my toaster oven. -- Many dishes say never to use one for this but I was breaking the rules anyway and it seemed the best bet. Unlike my big oven which looks like something from the Eisenhower administration, my toaster oven has a window that allows me to watch the baking. Should this concoction become too brown I could step in immediately and remove it.

I turned the temperature to 350 degrees for 30 minutes, the setting I use most often. While it baked I busied myself with meal prep for dinner and kitchen cleaning all the while keeping a watchful eye.

When the timer went off I removed it. I still didn't have a clue as to what I'd made, but my creation was nicely brown and passed the toothpick test. I set it on the counter for several hours to cool.

Later, I cut my mystery dessert into large squares. In both taste and texture these resembled scones and were quite tasty with a hot beverage. I was pleased.


Tuesday, May 3, 2022

LET'S MIX THINGS UP

 

I've read that European women combine perfumes to create unique scents. I love fragrances! Many a Christmas and Birthday I'd receive them from friends & co-workers. However some just weren't me, so I took a cue from the European ladies.

Most of my gift fragrances were in spray form. This required an empty bottle with a wide opening that I would spray into; a little of this one, some of that, and then a bit of another over there. I kept mixing until I got a fragrance I liked.

The only downside was that I couldn't recreate the scent exactly. Often, other women would ask, "What is that delightful fragrance you're wearing?"

I would shrug and say, "Oh just something I threw together," explaining that I like to mix scents. Afterward I'd be on the receiving end of some really strange looks.

Mixing other items works well too! I prefer black tea from India but green & herb teas are supposed to be healthier, also I love flavored teas. So I mix. Then I get the fruity taste of the flavored, green, or herb along with the full-bodied flavor of the black.

However I HATE Chai Tea and pass it up every chance I get!

Since the pandemic I've began mixing oat milk with cow's milk. At the start of the lockdown I was only able to find one or the other at the supermarket. I've been drinking 2 per cent milk for so many decades now that fatty milk makes me gag. So I bought oat instead.

Once home, I tried mixing it with the left over cow's milk and discovered I love the taste!

Fusion food has always been a favorite of mine! If you've never tasted a Mexican pizza you are missing out!

Now with the runaway inflation I'm doing more mixing and experimenting than ever to make everything stretch. It's fun and interesting with surprising results!

Monday, April 18, 2022

PSEUDO NORMAL

 

I feel like zombie fodder! Everyone I do business with is taking a big bite out of me! Most recently my lawn guy informed me that he's charging an extra $20 per month now. This was not unexpected, but I thought the hike would be more like $10.

I complained my yard isn't that big! He began listing all his costs that have gone up. Well so have mine, only I don't have anyone to pass it onto! I'm feeling so many bites I fear soon there will be nothing left!

This runaway inflation is a major stressor. And just after I managed to get my hair loss under control too! My worst fear is that it's going to come back and morph into alopecia. If they were unable to cure Mrs. Will Smith who probably has more money than Fort Knox what hope is there for a little peanut like me.

However the pandemic has conditioned me for this in some ways. Cocooning has become my regular lifestyle. Going anywhere or doing anything has become too expensive. Just walking to my mailbox now feels like going out.

My big dress up occasion is a jaunt to the supermarket. I shop every 2 - 3 weeks now. However when hurricane season arrives it'll be weekly again. I must not allow my fridge or garage freezer to become too full then. Tropical storms bring lengthy power outages. Carrying big garbage bags of spoiled food out to the curb is not only sad, it's expensive.

I've become quite skilled at stretching food and being creative with whatever is in my pantry as well as with leftovers.

Going to Walmart feels like a trip to the carnival now.

I still meet friends for lunch in town every now and then, but we've all had to back on that and I miss it. Recently my friend Sue treated me to an Asian buffet. When the bill arrived Sue called the waitress over to complain of only one senior discount.

The waitress pointed at me. "She doesn't qualify."

"She's older than me!" Sue hollered.

The waitress claimed that I looked 45. -- I was flattered as hell anyone would think that especially with my gray hair and bandaged check. I informed her that I'm 71 and offered to show my driver's license.

Sue said that she was tempted to tip that waitress only a dollar for being so stupid! I joked that I should leave $10 behind for the compliment.

Excuse my bragging. (Up yours if you don't!) But I had to mention this because it lifted my spirits and reminded me I still have something to be proud. I've been hit with depression and sunk to lows I never wanted to experience again! The past couple years have been particularly miserable in numerous ways.

However I won't feel attractive again until this wound on my face heals completely.

And I hate remembering to bandage up before going to bed. This is a bother and a nuisance! But otherwise I'd have ointment all over my pillowcase.

I must point out that Sue is not an unattractive woman! She has been called the Marilyn Monroe of Vero Beach. She dresses glamorously and is blessed with natural thick platinum hair that I envy and wish was mine!

I'm letting my tresses grow out. Salons have become too expensive. I'll admit this shade of gray doesn't look pretty when worn long, but the mess and ordeal of coloring is something I don't care to return to. Also I must take into consideration my recent bout with hair loss. Besides, I'm home alone most of the time now.

I can always stick on a cute hat when I go out. Also when the cool weather returns I've got an assortment of wigs in a variety of colors and styles.

These days my social life is mostly Facebook. But Facebook "friends" are here today and gone tomorrow. However I do enjoy the artwork, videos, photos & articles. And decorating my Timeline is fun and relaxing.

Since cancelling that pricey newspaper subscription all my news comes from online as well as TV now. But I sure miss that big Sunday paper and spreading it across the floor to read. -- However not enough to resubscribe.

Blogging is as much therapy as memoir to me. And I'm working on another novel. I enjoy a feeling of satisfaction from creating a story even if no one reads it.

I'm spending more time than ever sitting and staring at a screen. As a result my bottom is sore. I wish there was a masseuse that specialized in deep tissue butt massages. And one that does only feet & butts would be perfect and a dream come true.

My new normal is anything but, however "normal" is subjective.


Monday, April 4, 2022

HAIR & HURRICANE LOSS

 

It's old news by now. I'm referring to the Oscar slap seen round the world! But I'm dredging it up for a reason.

Personally, I think Will Smith should have had his ass hauled off to jail the second after he struck Chris Rock! My heart went out to this comedian every time I saw a replay of the incident. Right before the slap he stood there with a big smile on his face as Smith approached without a clue what was about to befall him.

If Will Smith ever placed a hand on me I would sue the pants off him! He didn't deserve a standing ovation. He should have been booed off the stage!

Whether or not Chris knew about Jada's medical condition is irrelevant. The joke wasn't even mean! Even Will himself laughed upon hearing it. Had Rock exclaimed, "Holey moley Jada your head looks like a bowling ball with a face painted on!" -- Now that would have been mean!

But the joke was innocent!

Since I don't follow celebrities I assumed Jada's look was a fashion choice. And I thought she looked absolutely gorgeous! However upon seeing her smile in reaction to her husband's assault it made me want to punch her in the yap!

This was a valuable teaching experience for her children and she failed miserably! As for making friends with her alopecia and embracing it, she talks the talk, but doesn't walk the walk. Otherwise she wouldn't be that sensitive about it.

Recently I experienced a significant hair loss myself that threw me into a panic! Every time I washed or even combed, my sink would be full of hair. My parts were so wide you could almost drive a Mack truck thru them! I thought I was going to end up as hairless as GI Jada.

And worse I had burning and soreness as if a hot poker had been placed on my scalp!

When I went to the stylist he refused to cut my hair as short as before. He felt it only drew attention to the thinning. But I insisted he do it! That way I could slip a turban or wig on more neatly.

I told myself I was the perfect person for this condition. I own a stockade of hats, wigs, & turbans. You might say I'd been preparing for this my entire adult life, -- but that didn't make it any easier! Never would I embrace it. Never would it become my friend, not even a forced one.

The dermatologist visit I scheduled was due to hair loss and not that giant pimple on my face with the weird border.

The doctor glanced briefly at my scalp and agreed there was loss. "Try Rogaine," he advised. "However you must use it for at least 6 months to know whether or not it works. "But don't expect your hair to look as it did when you were 22." 

Geez, I'd settle for when I was 65! And Rogaine is downright expensive! If I'm going to shell out that kind of money for a product I want to be certain it's going to work. Not something that I have to close my eyes, wish, and knock-on-wood first!

Then I happened to mention, "Oh and by the way doctor I've got this thing growing on my face." -- I was sure he was going to tell me it was benign. And if it bothered me he'd prescribe a peeling cream or something else to remove it.

I was blown away when informed that it was skin cancer and was growing! I ended up with a big pit in my face that was far wider than the growth.

If someone said to me, "Hey Dianne, that hole in your face is so deep a serial killer could throw 3 bodies in there and not get caught," I'd scowl rather than strike them, -- unless it became a habit and bordered on harassment. That would be different!

Due to this runaway inflation there is no way I can afford a skin graft by a plastic surgeon so it appears I'll need to force myself into accepting a scar on my face. I'm crossing my fingers, hoping it won't be that bad.

The wound is narrowing and filling in despite the dermatologist's highly negative prognosis.

As to my hair loss, thankfully it was temporary, related to stress caused by an unusually active hurricane season in which I unable to find anyone to board-up my home.

Thanks to nutritional supplements and a reliable (although far from cheap) contractor my tresses are back -- at least for now!


Saturday, March 19, 2022

NO NEWS, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

 

I am completely shocked and in disbelief by the number of people online confessing to never reading or listening to news because they find it too upsetting! -- Not having access to news would upset me far more!!! I WANT to know what's going on in the world!!!

Do these fools think that burying their head in the sand is preventing terrible things from happening??? More likely the opposite, forewarned is forearmed. Besides, these events are part of life! You can't have the good without the bad.

One person's news is another's reality.

Despite all the unpleasantness and tragedy, a daily newspaper was one of the joys of my life. I could never imagine not subscribing to one. I loved spreading its pages out on the floor the same way I did as a kid and reading it that way. Online isn't the same, but that's all I have now.

My newspaper was shrinking steadily, yet the price was constantly climbing. Subscribing became a luxury! And long had I been disgusted with its spotty and late deliveries plus their indifference, so after the last price increase I cancelled.

Previously I'd cut back to Sunday & Wednesday deliveries only while getting the rest of my news online. But even those 2 days a week became too expensive. And where I currently live you can only get one newspaper delivered to your door.

Plus I've always found it inferior. Way too much was local news and trivia. I prefer reading about world and national events! I just live in Vero Beach; I'm not married to it!

I'll admit I've been spoiled!  I grew up reading The Miami Herald & the Palm Beach Post. Both were top notch and delivery issues were rare and when one occurred dealt with immediately. But unfortunately due to logistics neither delivers here. This was a big sacrifice in moving.

I attempted to subscribe to the Palm Beach Post online without success. I went thru all the steps including giving them my credit card number. But when I tried to log in with my password I was informed that I didn't have an account.

I'm not a tech person and I'm 70 plus years old so I contacted customer service. The lady logged me on, but I was lost once I got there, trying to navigate the thing was a headache! And the following day when I attempted to log on, again they claimed I didn't have an account!

I contacted customer service, again! The man confirmed they had my credit card number. I told him to delete it because I was cancelling! This was all too much bother when there's a plethora of free news and everything else online!

So now here I sit spending even more time in front of this screen. Perhaps I should move my kitchen table and bed in here, too!


Saturday, March 5, 2022

BEYOND TRAGIC

 

Watching the war in the Ukraine unfold sickens me and makes me want to weep. I feel a personal connection to there and to Russia. Back in 1979 when I was 28 I toured both. I traveled all the way down the Crimean Peninsula.

It was the year before Russia hosted the Olympics. The one we boycotted because they went into Afghanistan.

My hotel in Moscow was located directly across from the Kremlin. Early in the AM I'd see the old ladies in babushkas sweeping the street from my hotel window. Nowadays I see photos of old ladies wearing babushkas holding rifles in the Ukraine.

Back then, Kyiv was spelled Kiev and pronounced Key-ev.  Listening to the reporters on TV I wondered if they were talking about the same place. I Googled it, and yes it is! Also back in the Iron Curtain days when I visited, St. Petersburg was called Leningrad.

At that time, there existed such harmony between Russia and the Ukraine I could never have imagined what is occurring now! It is shocking and heartbreaking to see so many places in the Ukraine I visited bombed to rubble!

Russian bombs were even falling at the Babi Yar WWII Memorial, the site of a mass slaughter, also a mass grave. I remember it well. I want to shake my head and cry.

After returning home, many told me (with attitude) they would never go to Russia for any reason. Those #$%&@ communists should never see one dime of our money!

And I told them NOT to hate the Russian people! Many of them feel the same disdain toward their government and the communist system as Americans do, but they are trapped there. 

Although it didn't happen to me personally, several members of my tour were approached by Russian citizens looking for answers on seeking asylum in the United States. They were advised, "If you don't have money, stay there!"

Since the invasion of the Ukraine many Russians have fled their country. Thousands of others are peacefully protesting and being arrested as traitors. You can bet they will receive more than a slap on the wrist as punishment unlike the genuine traitors in our country who stormed the capitol on Jan. 6 attempting to overthrow a valid election.

The shameful and disgraceful scene in Washington D.C. was another event I never expected to see in my lifetime when I journeyed behind the iron curtain long ago.

Of all the countries I've visited (and I've been to a whole lot of places) that's the one of which I am the most proud. I recall it vividly and treasure the memories.

In particular I remember my free afternoon in Leningrad. A fellow traveler named Richard & I boarded a city bus and went exploring together. Richard had a map of Leningrad and with the help of others on the bus (we spoke no Russian & they no English) helped us to locate all the sites we planned to visit.

But as the day wore on we found ourselves lost. Inside a park, a pretty Russian girl noticed us looking at the map and gathered that we were having a problem. Although she was not versed in English, she came over to help. We showed her the map and gave her the name of our hotel.

Soon a boy around age 12 approached as well. The lad also spoke no English. He and the young woman talked. We were directed to follow him. He led us to the subway and even boarded with us. We were surprised to discover a subway platform to disengage right below our hotel. Never had I been on a subway in my life until the week before in Moscow. Indeed we were grateful for the help of these strangers!

Throughout the tour we were assigned two guides, an American and a Russian, both young women in their mid 20's. The Russian guide was named Natasha. She possessed a refinement along with a natural elegance. And was one of the sweetest young women ever!

I can't help but think of her now. I hope she is safe and well, and most of all living happily in a country far from there.

My hope is that this horrific invasion will bring about the end of Vlad Poop'n! And I would love to see all the yachts and mansions seized from the Russian oligarchs sold and the money used to repair and rebuild all of the ghastly destruction inflicted upon the Ukraine.

But sadly, you can't give back a life once it has been taken.