MISCELLANEOUS MUSINGS & MEMORIES

 

Don't even mention summer to me. I HATE Florida summers!!! They're hellishly hot, humid and bug infested. And don't get me started on hurricanes and all the stress and expense involved. I wish it could be winter forever!!!

Seems immediately after the holidays I start receiving catalogues filled with lots of beautiful winter clothes on sale, prices slashed, and many great bargains. As I reach for my credit card I stop myself. Suddenly I realize I seldom go anywhere anymore.

Even after the Covid ordeal is over, I doubt that will change. Many of my favorite restaurants are gone forever, friends are scattering, and the theatres around here remain closed. I don't need a cute outfit to visit a doctor/dentist or go the supermarket.

Sigh, but I am enjoying a variety of movies at home.

Recently I watched Dark Waters, a true story of one man's battle to expose the DuPont Chemical Company of deliberately poisoning people and animals for profit. Shamefully our government does nothing to stop this reprehensible practice because they are in DuPont's hip pocket. And surprisingly many of the people being screwed by DuPont are embracing it. -- This certainly explains the Trump phenomenon!

Believe it or not, I was aboard the DuPont yacht! It was back around 1977 or 78. We had a wedding chapel attached to our florist shop. Dad performed most of the ceremonies and for an added fee he was mobile. The Captain of the DuPont yacht was getting married and wanted the ceremony performed out in the ocean. I came along as a witness in the event there wasn't one.

My father and I were given a grand tour of the yacht before we set sail. It had every luxury imaginable onboard! The DuPont family was no where around. But the Captain and his crowd were very nice and included us in the wedding party.

I should note that we were among the first in the country to have women perform weddings! Not all our customers were pleased with this. Usually it was the bride who objected! I know because I did the scheduling. Often my father had to come in on this day off.  

He and our ladies were notaries who had the power. My father also got a mail-order minister's license and Doctor of Divinity certificate because it made some more comfortable.

The 1970's were my peak traveling abroad period. Every year I took a vacation outside the country to an exciting new place. I miss that!

As fate would have it, I made the right decision not to expatriate. My two countries of choice are not faring well in the pandemic. Had I expatriated I might very well be dead now. -- Or perhaps not since both countries have healthcare I could actually afford.

THE CON MAN & HIS CULT

 

Is anyone really surprised by the storming of the Capitol! How could you NOT see this coming! For four years now President Bone Spurs has been playing these suckers like a harpsichord. Of course Trump didn't want to lose power -- his big stinky posterior is likely to end up in prison now that he's out of office. This desperate despot would resort to anything to avoid it, no lie was too outrageous, nothing was!

And sadly, we have plenty of fools eager to buy into him. The first to come to mind are the Proud Boys. Boys are the right word for them! If you need a gun to be a man, you aren't much of one! They are a sorry lot. Unfortunately these are dangerous dumb asses.

Why are we even talking prison terms? That's NOT the way to deal with insurrectionists & traitors! They should all be hanged or shot starting with Trump along with anyone within the Capitol walls who aided them! -- That's exactly what they planned for all opposing them!!! Journalists and the media were actually referred to as "soft targets".

Trump didn't even step in and try to stop them as they searched the Capitol for his own Vice President to hang on their makeshift gallows outside! These are Banana-Republicans whose antics are straight out of a Third World playbook!

And did you notice that not one of these dupes was pardoned after doing the con's bidding? -- The joke is on you, SUCKERS!!!  LOL

First, they were idiot enough to give allegiance to a sleazy con like Trump rather than their own country. Second, these domestic terrorists didn't even wear masks while committing their crimes. And third, they took selfies! These cretins are too stupid to live anyway!!!

Plus they're deranged as well! -- Hillary Clinton never ran a child porn ring out of a pizza parlor!  It's naive to believe these wacko cultists can be deprogrammed. Any concept of unity with this half-wit scum is airy-fairy, pie-in-the sky nonsense! If they were dogs we'd shoot them!

But I seriously doubt they'll ever receive what they truly deserve. Biden has the same flaw as Obama, he's too nice! And that just doesn't cut it when dealing with people of this caliber. Unfortunately it places Biden and the current administration as well as journalists and others under constant danger. This is unacceptable!!!

NEW YEAR, BIG MINOR CHANGES

 

Since I don't own a cellphone to take selfies for social media, every birthday that ends in a 5 or a 0 I have a professional portrait taken. And one with a tremendous zero was fast approaching!

I hired Photos by Martina. She is a beautiful woman who looks more like someone who should be walking a runway in Paris or Milan rather than behind a camera. I first met her 10 years ago at a Business Networking Luncheon.

I was delighted to learn that her home studio is only minutes up the road from me. Martina told me that her sister lives in my neighborhood. Well this gave me pause!!! -- I sure hope she wasn't that woman with Trump's name plastered all over her body who knocked on my door. The one I swore at and told to get off my property!

Moving right along, before my photo session another tooth cracked and broke off. I couldn't get a dentist appointment until 2 days after the shoot. Fortunately it was a back tooth but still visible when I smiled wide. I had to constantly remember to angle my head so it wouldn't show.

After the updated photo was posted on Facebook I deleted the majority of my photo albums there. I left ones from business networking luncheons, plus a few from the 80's and my childhood. I want to put an end or at least reduce strangers snooping! Other than what's posted on my Timeline no one has any business going there. Yet plenty do and it always creeps me out!

I can't fathom a person whose life is so dull and empty they would need to ferret thru a total stranger's photographs. Plus I don't like pushy or nosey people!!! The excuse always given is, "I wanted to see what you are all about." That's B.S.!  If they were honestly interested they would be reading my blog, not going thru my photos!

Well this is a brand new year, new decade, thankfully we have a new and improved President, and I just hit age 70 last week so I'm starting fresh from here! In my life at least the past is over and gone!

I'm working on a new novel (a supernatural thriller & mystery) I hope to publish in 2021.The plot consists of several stories within a story, but it all ties together at the end.

I'm keeping the previous photo on my business page because it looks more authorish.  -- That's not a word, but it should be. This is the photo I will use on the book cover.

Finally I made a sacrifice I was avoiding! I cut my newspaper delivery to Wednesday & Sundays only to save money. I read it online the rest of the week now and this is an adjustment. I miss my pre-dawn stroll out to the end of my driveway in the fresh morning air along with spreading the pages out on the floor and reading them under my bedroom window. But at least I'm left with 2 days for that.

Thankfully the online version has larger print and is easier on my now impaired vision. That's one good thing! Besides all the flashes, floaters, and the big shadow in my left eye; I now have 2 more floaters to drive me straight up the walls! One is high up on my left eye & is always flying around like an annoying gnat. The other flashes across my right eye like a comet.

Seems I'm spending most of my time (too much) online now.

I'm just hoping there won't be numerous power outages in the coming year and beyond. But then, this is Vero Beach where they refuse to bury the lines, so I'm not optimistic. That's one thing that will probably never change!

And the mystery of the Egyptian Mau has been solved! The kitty belongs to a new neighbor.

THE GIGANTIC SEVEN OMG

 

Yesterday it happened! I share the same birthday as Elvis Presley and Kim Jong-Un. One's dead, one's alive, and I'm somewhere in between.

My 70th has arrived. I still look good despite the fact that I'm coming apart from the inside.

Our society, like soon to be ex-President Pussy Grabber believes women have expiration dates. It's not kind to older women. However I am always good to myself because others are not.

"Once you hit your 70's," a friend told me, "be prepared to be for all kinds of ailments you never knew existed before."

Geez, I thought that already happened in my 60's! Before then, I'd never heard of neuropathy, trichodynia, peripheral edema, or posterior vitreous detachment.

"Hang on," she said. "It's just the beginning."

Oh joy, I can hardly wait!

At Walmart I saw a package of light bulbs claiming to last 18 years. I wondered if I would still be alive by then. -- My mother died at age 72. Before cancer took her down she was the healthiest of all her contemporaries. She didn't drive, walked every place and rarely went to the doctor. Before her cancer, she'd only been hospitalized to give birth.

Life moves at warp speed now and it's scary! Also at this age I know more people who are dead than alive, most of whom I don't want to be reunited with in the afterlife.

A psychic once told me that spirits of those close to me in previous lives were always around. Perhaps that explains my feeling of disconnect with the flesh and blood people in my life. They were never my crowd.

I've read that our world shrinks as we age. Seniors become isolated and shut-ins. However if other seniors are like me, this isn't by choice or lack of interest! Being on a fixed income combined with inflation and exorbitant medical expenses makes it too damn expensive to go out and do anything now.

If money was no object, I'd be traveling the world constantly and treating myself to all kinds of things both there and here. But that's not my reality; I'm forced to live within my budget.

However I'm not unhappy; I enjoy life in spite of this. The Christmases I've spent alone have been the most wonderful of all, -- just not the last one! 2020 was an anomaly, period!

Despite everything, I wouldn't want to be anyone else but me. Yes, I do envy people who have more disposable income, but if I could switch places with them, I wouldn't! I'd be miserable living their lives.

Never do I put my happiness in the hands of others. The best part of life now is that I no longer have to live up or down to anyone else's expectations. I don't have to prove anything to anyone. At long last, I've been set free!

A COVID CHRISTMAS

 

This holiday season has a depressing watered down feeling. The Christmas events I enjoyed in the past were not around this year. And the theatres remain closed! There was no getting together with friends for our holiday lunches. We are all women of a certain age and high risk.

Our governor is a Trump turd who has never had a plan to deal with the pandemic other than to ignore it same as his master who thankfully will soon be vacating the White House.

My circle of friends already small is shrinking -- unless you count Facebook friends which don't count! They should be labeled as acquaintances and most aren't even that!

I value my true friends because they're people I choose to have in my life opposed to those who've been forced upon me: relatives, in-laws, step-relatives. Most of whom I'd never gravitate to in the first place. Thankfully most in that category are out of my life for good now!

It's wonderful and welcome news that a vaccine will soon be available. But as for myself, I'm leery of taking it. I learned the hard way I'm allergic to codeine and I suffered every miserable side effect possible with Paxil. Plus I experienced withdrawal symptoms just like a junkie when I quit. I was taking both drugs under a doctor's care! So no thank you to the vaccine!

I figure if everyone else takes it, I won't need to. I'll just continue to wear a mask and social distance until the virus is gone. Even before the pandemic I was a happy hermit.

However with the new stronger strain coming out of Great Britain I may change my mind. We'll see when the vaccine becomes available.

Besides the supermarket, the only place I go these days is to the dentist. At the rate my teeth are cracking soon I'll have more crowns than natural teeth. And no, I don't munch on rocks!

The dentist asked if I chewed ice. I said I'd be alarmed if I did! Both my mother and a favorite aunt developed a craving for ice when they came down with terminal cancer. Why my teeth keep cracking remains a mystery to me!

 A friend pointed out that I've had these teeth since I was a small child and to be grateful they lasted almost 70 years. However I was told by a dentist when I was young that if I took good care of my teeth (which I do) they would last a lifetime. -- I am not ready to die at age 70.

Amongst my emails was a Christmas card from the hotel in Bangkok where I stayed in 2016, my favorite, and the one where I began and ended my tour of Thailand. It was a delight to open!

Last night on PBS I watched the Vero Beach Ballet perform Nutcracker on the Treasure Coast. It was exciting to see knowing all those talented performers were local people. And the costumes were amazing!

Like everyone else, I will heave a big sigh of relief when the pandemic ends.

 I miss wearing lipstick! It brightens up my entire face. I miss getting dressed up all fancy and meeting friends for lunch in a nice restaurant. Heck, I even miss paper towels with Christmas designs! Finding any at all has been a challenge in recent months.

Sadly, many restaurants I enjoyed will not be reopening and they will be missed. But now I'm used to savoring a lot of special meals at home that I prepare myself.

Once the Christmas tree goes up the healthy diet goes right out the window! But hey, the food is part of the holiday! However I am determined to exert some discipline and use portion control.

I don't want to end up like the 400 lb woman who went for a swim and was sexually assaulted by a herd of manatees. They mistook her for one of their own and tried to mate with her. I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP! It happened recently in Fort Pierce only minutes south of here.  

2020 will be a year to remember for all the wrong reasons. Let's hope better things are heading our way now that it's ending.

One day the virus will be gone, but I doubt life can return to the way it was, it will be a different normal.

A PLACE CALLED HOME

 

Last night I dreamt I was swimming serenely in a scenic lake among garlands of flowers floating all around me. I was on a lush exotic island in the middle of the Indian Ocean. The mise en scene felt sublime, I wish I had died in my sleep and remained there forever.

The sleeping prophet Edgar Cayce noted that careful attention should be paid to dreams. They have a significant message for us. I read this from a book titled THE PLACE WE CALL HOME by Robert J. Grant; it explores realms that await us after physical death. I bought a copy right after my father's passing.

After reading Cayce's statement I experienced a bizarre dream that night, one I still remember vividly.

In late night darkness I was standing amidst busy traffic, car lights whizzed by me on both sides. In front of me was a badly mangled wreck of a car; I wondered if it was mine but was unable to tell. Police and paramedics were there, but they ignored me.

A woman in a pick-up truck stopped. She got out and walked over to me. She claimed we had gone to school together although I didn't remember her. She said that she was taking me home to the 100 acre place on the lake. -- The place I hadn't lived since I was 9, but all of my happiest memories were there. Life took so many ugly turns and unraveled when my family moved and bought the house on the river.

The lake place no longer existed, but those 100 acres had been paradise to me and I couldn't wait to return. I began to wonder if I was dead. But if I could spend eternity there I didn't care. I was getting excited.

The woman asked did I mind if we stopped at her house. It was along the way and something needed her attention there.

I was annoyed, but said OK because after all, she was doing me a favor.

Suddenly we were driving on a cracked road into a rundown neighborhood. Every other or third street lamp was either out or flickering beneath a low-hanging fog, a most dismal depressing place. She pulled up in front of an old two-story white house with rotting wood & peeling paint that I could see clearly from my seat.

I told her I'd wait inside the truck hoping that would hurry her up. She said she'd be awhile and to come inside, again I was irritated.

Indoors everything was in much the same condition as the outside. Her furniture was worn and faded. She told me to seat myself and then she disappeared. Time dragged by, in disgust I went looking for her. I found her inside the kitchen mopping her floor. A spill, she said. I was angry now and wanted to leave immediately!

"Soon," she said trying to calm me. She led me back into the living room and switched on the television for me to watch. The TV set was an old black & white one. All the shows on the dial were from the 1950's & 60's, even the commercials were of similar vintage. And most of the stations were snowy.

Eventually she emerged from the kitchen and I rose. She motioned for me to sit back down. She needed to go across the street to a neighbor's house and she hurriedly left. I realized I was never going to leave there. Then, thankfully I awoke!

I am a believer in the afterlife as well as reincarnation, but acknowledge I could be wrong. Perhaps my flashes of a previous life under autohypnosis as a Roman soldier and my experiences involving the departed were nothing more than brain glitches.

If my current life is all there is, I'm fine with that! The thought of not knowing what I'm returning to is disturbing. Likely it will be a world decimated by over population and climate change filled with crowds of people starving. My preference is to cease to exist and be forgotten.

AH, TEMPTATION

 

Recently I almost became a mother. A new young beauty has moved into the neighborhood, an Egyptian Mau. It looks to be less than a year old. This one is light grey with the characteristic black spots but also has a black stripe down its back with a serpentine design.

This small elegant creature came to greet me one mid-morning as I went to fetch my mail. The little thing seemed starved for affection as I petted it. But after retrieving my mail it was nowhere in sight.

As I was writing away in my home office I heard a meowing. The cat was in my garage! I opened the door to release it; but instead it ran back into my house and made itself at home. I gave him/her a name, I call it Sneaky!

Sneaky started climbing up my stairs. I grabbed the cat and told it, "You need to go home!" But I wondered if it had one.

As I carried it out thru the garage it clung tightly to me as if it didn't want to leave. I placed it gently down on my driveway and told it, "Stay there".  The kitty stared up at me with sad eyes as I quickly departed and closed the door.

I refer to the cat as "IT" because I don't know the gender. My previous one was a big Tom. Once I was petting him along with my dog (a Chihuahua-Terrier mix) I had both side-by-sides on their backs. Their sex organs looked identical although the cat was male and the dog female.

I've been asking around the neighborhood as to the origin of this cat. One told me it was a stray, another claimed it had an owner somewhere around here but they knew not where.

None of my previous cats (all indoor/outdoor) were rovers; always they stayed close to the property. Of course mine were so well fed, had so many toys, comfortable places to sleep, and were showered with such loving attention that they had no desire go searching for another owner.

Often when I'm outside I see this cat from a distance. Whenever it spots me it starts heading in my direction. And I quicken my steps to get back indoors.

Years ago I would have taken it in and adopted this cat. However at this stage of my life, I can't handle the added expense. Back in 2002 it cost $100 just to set foot inside a veterinarian's office. And now I'm struggling and juggling to pay my own medical bills!

My age too is a factor. An animal could easily outlive me. Or I could suddenly end up in the hospital for lord knows how long and then be forced into a nursing facility or a retirement home. Sadly, there are too many negative variables here for me to even consider it.