BORJA, ADORE YA OR DEPLORE YA

Online I get way more attention from men as a senior citizen and asexual than I ever did at age 20 with blonde hair down to my tits! Of course I realize most are romantic scammers who are more interested in my bank account than my body. 

Facebook is the worst! Most will only communicate thru private messaging. Words that immediately get one blocked are: "I'd like to know you better." Even if I was keen on that kind of relationship I'd never take up with anyone in another state much less another continent.

LinkedIn is another place where I get hit on, though not as frequently. Around Thanksgiving, 3 guys started doing the flirtation dance. When I revealed my age, 2 instantly vanished! Despite being asexual this left me offended. Both men looked 50ish and I don't believe most women would automatically reject a man 20 years older.

However the 72 year old remained interested. And he lived in Boca Raton, a tony exclusive part of Florida about an hour south of here. The literal French translation of Boca Raton is Rat's Mouth which I find ironic.

His first name was Borja, he moved here from Spain at age 20. He was an international Realtor with an impressive business profile. I confessed that I was asexual and not attracted to men.

"But I can change your mind," he replied. "Please give me a chance! I want to treat you to fine dining, live entertainment, and travel."

"OK," I said, "you can treat me to lunch the week following Thanksgiving. I'll meet you at the restaurant."

However he claimed to be tied up in Georgia renovating an estate and wouldn't be back in Florida until after Dec.16. Also he had to Christmas shop for his 2 teenage grandsons who were living with him temporarily while his son was getting a lung transplant.  -- This procedure sounded like SYFY stuff to me, but I Googled it & it's real.

We agreed to meet during the week of Dec.16. "I think the world of you," he told me. "And I want to give you the world!"

I accused him of having a crush on a photo and said he may dislike the flesh & blood person! Even close friends tell me I'm an acquired taste. -- Also I'm not some woman who watches Hallmark movies expecting happily ever after with some man. I'm a Quentin Tarantino/George Romero gal.

"But I have a good feeling about you," he replied. "I'll take you on a vacation anywhere in the world you want to go," he promised.

I made it clear that if I went anyplace with him I'd pay my own way and we'd have separate rooms! I won't be any man's mistress! My name is not Melania Tramp!

"Oh I'm sure we can work something out," Borja replied. He then assured me (despite never have met in person) that he saw us together for the rest of our lives. If this guy was on the level, marrying him would solve all my current problems. -- However I would be exchanging them for new and different ones!

He was quite eloquent and seemed educated. Plus he wrote the most beautiful things to me always with lavish promises. We exchanged emails every day. In the AM while having coffee at his hotel he was wishing I was there beside him. In the evening he gushed about how he'd been thinking about me all day. If this guy's for real I thought, he's probably too clingy for me. I'm used to being alone, it's my happy place!

Plus it bugged me that he didn't read my emails carefully. Borja asked if I owned or rented my home. I told him I inherited it. My father bought it outright when we moved to Vero Beach. Previously in Stuart we were on the St. Lucie and the river was a mile wide behind our house. We were on a hill in the back with a magnificent view and 150 ft dock. But I didn't miss it because I was so unhappy there!

He replied: "I know you miss your previous house terribly." -- That's not what I said! I told him to go back & re-read what I wrote!

Another of several examples, I mentioned that I went to the dentist to see how my bone graft was healing, but thankfully no pain was involved.

He replied: "Sorry you are in such pain, please take medication and get some rest." -- I was beginning to think I was being catfished by someone's dementia-addled grandpa!

The week following Thanksgiving, I lunched with my friend Rose. She smelled a rat right away! Rose knew 2 victims of romantic scammers and one woman was scammed royally! "Don't be surprised if he cancels your lunch at the last moment due a family tragedy," she cautioned.

Immediately I thought of his son having the lung transplant!

Returning home another of Borja's emails awaited me. He inquired about my lunch with Rose and what I wore, then casually asked "Sweetie can you loan me $6000? I'll pay you back soon!" He claimed to be having problems with the bank in Georgia.

"NO!" I told him. I reminded him that I'm on a fixed income and added "This so-called relationship is over!!! DO NOT EMAIL ME EVER AGAIN!!!!!!"

He stated that I had misunderstood him, but he would respect my wishes and not contact me again. -- I didn't misunderstand a damn thing, buster!

The following AM came another email begging my forgiveness because he was heartbroken. -- However this one sounded as if it was written by someone else. The speech pattern was noticeably different. I've heard that romantic scammers work as a team; you're not dealing with just one person. Anyway I didn't reply!

However I phoned the headquarters of his Real Estate firm (one that is well-known with a respectable reputation) and told them he needed investigating. (I've heard nothing back!) I have our emails to prove everything I say!

Also I messaged several of our mutual female connections warning them to gird their bank accounts around this guy. If he's pulling this number on me you can bet he's doing it to other women too!

THE FRIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

It began as strange. I was about to brush my teeth when I noticed a swarm of gnats flying around the porcelain in my sink. I wondered how those bugs got inside and why didn't the drop in temperature kill them! But then, I came to realize they were in my eyes, actually just one eye. But new floaters are nothing unusual.

As the afternoon progressed I noticed bright flashes of light in that eye. I thought I was just experiencing another ocular migraine. The first time I had one I freaked out and made an emergency visit to the eye clinic only to be told it would go away by itself. I left $500 poorer. So I decided to wait this one out.

However my ocular migraine only lasted a few days and this was hanging on. I Googled this and to my horror I had every symptom of a detached retina! Since I wanted a doctor without political ambitions I phoned New Vision instead of the other clinic.

I was instructed to come in at 2:00 PM. It unfolded as a long, stressful, miserable Friday afternoon of tests with lots of just waiting around. Three hours later when I left, the lobby was vacant and even the technicians had all gone home, only the receptionist remained. Thankfully, I didn't have a detached retina!

I was diagnosed with PVD: Posterior Vitreous Attachment. That's quite a mouthful, eh. The Vitreous is gel inside the eye. Pieces become loose over time, also with eye strain. But mostly its age related.  Sometimes it takes weeks for the bright flashes to dissipate, but the floaters remain. The doctor said it bears watching. I must go back in 6 weeks. But if the eye worsens I was told to return immediately.

Now I am plagued with floaters in BOTH eyes! I'm seeing mosquitoes, a beetle, & even a centipede along with the gnats. Bring on the summer heat and humidity then it'll be like trying to navigate in a swamp! It's bad enough reading or watching TV when my vision is more fixed. But sitting in front of a computer is downright maddening! My eyes are constantly darting about and all these bugs along with them!

Honestly, between my new dental bridge, bone graft, and eye issues I feel like my body is falling apart! And worse I know it's just the beginning.

TO TREE OR NOT TO TREE

Due to the abbreviated Christmas season I was debating with myself whether or not to bother erecting a tree. It goes fast enough as is, but this year has been shortened by a week. But then, I'm old school, the Christmas season for me doesn't start till after Thanksgiving. However this is antique thinking and another example of how our society is headed straight into the crapper.  Almost everything of value has been reduced significantly! Walking into a store in September you'd think Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas were all ONE Holiday!

Plus my summer was so miserable and outrageously expensive I was finding it harder to get into the holiday spirit this time around. Perhaps I should just go with minimal decorations as I did in 2017. My Christmas will certainly be leaner. But yet, it's still a wonderful holiday and one to be celebrated.

And best of all Christmas falls on a Wednesday this year, a big holiday smack in the middle of the week! This makes it extra special! Whenever Christmas falls on a weekend I feel cheated because weekends already feel like holidays.

While shopping I spotted a 7 foot pre-lit tree at a ridiculously low price. It was a sign from the universe! I bought it. Unpacking it later, I discovered the tree stand missing. At the bottom of the box was a sheet of paper stating that if any parts were missing to call an 800 number, which I did!

The lady took down all my info and told me a tree stand would be shipped and I'd receive it in a week. I complained that the season was already abbreviated and I'd have less time to enjoy a tree. Also I told her that whoever was responsible should be fired! She said she'd have to go to China to do that.

After hanging up and seeing all my ornaments in waiting boxes I remembered that I still had a 6 foot tree out in my garage.

I needed to concentrate on the positive; for one thing I'm alone. During holidays I look outside and see cars in neighbor's driveways belonging to visiting family members. I recall going thru that particular kind of hell. The stress and aggravation involved did nothing but ruin it. But that's all in the past now! I'm free to enjoy every holiday my way! Neon fireworks and brilliant streamers of elation are going off in my head as I type!!!

Why not a tree, untangling and stringing lights was half the hassle, but I have a pre-lit ones now.  And I miss it when I don't have one. Yes, I erected a tree; it just doesn't feel like Christmas without one.

EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUNBRELLA

A man on Facebook whose friendship request I'd accepted told me I sounded interesting after reading a post of mine. He wanted to meet for lunch. I told him that I wasn't attracted to men. He said we could just meet as friends so I agreed.

When I arrived at the restaurant I found him seated by a large window with the hot Florida sun blazing in. In as polite a way as possible, I insisted we move to another table. Otherwise I would have been squinting thru the entire lunch. And my Northern European skin doesn't tan, it just burns!

After we moved to an interior booth, I told him, "Do you think it's an accident that I'm nearly 70 and have skin this firm without deep lines.

He replied that I'd probably had a face lift plus botox. I took this is a compliment despite the fact it was meant as a put-down. I'm poor and can't afford any of those pricey procedures. However it became immediately clear we weren't going to click on any level.

At age 25 I asked my dermatologist if there was anything I could do to ward off wrinkles. "Take a good look at your parents," he said. "That's exactly how you're going to age."

I'm screwed, I thought! My parents weren't aging well. I asked if there was a way to combat heredity.

"With THAT skin you need to cover up, wear hats, limit sun exposure and use lots of sunscreen," he told me.

I took his advice! And since parasols are no longer available my umbrella is also sunbrella. I seldom go anywhere without one!

Watching a recent episode of Young Sheldon mirroring me I had to chuckle. But unlike Sheldon Cooper, I hated umbrellas as a child. They always bit me! Every time I pressed that thingy down to fold one it pinched my finger and it was painful! I kept leeches for pets and could handle one with ease, yet I dreaded touching an umbrella.

Nowadays either  because my fingers are bigger, or less sensitive, or they've improved umbrellas I no longer feel that painful pinch.

In Thailand and Ecuador (both extremely sunny places) it was not unusual to see women holding umbrellas to shield themselves from the blazing sun. Here in hot sunny Florida it is. The Third World ladies get it!

Of course umbrellas come in handy for that other purpose. Last decade around the holidays I was standing in a line that stretched half way around the building of a theatre to see Benjamin Button. This was an unusually cold Florida day. Suddenly it started drizzling. I was situated in the half of the line not under cover. But I reached in my handbag and pulled forth my umbrella. People in front and behind were getting wet shivering in the cold, but not me!

Also an umbrella can be used as a weapon! Besides giving a good whack, most have a pointy tip. When thrust into a sensitive area it can do plenty of damage to an attacker. Remember that ladies!

DIAMONDS FROM THE ASHES

My first grade art teacher, I don't remember her name, yet I recall HER quite well. Middle-aged, slender, and single, she was a plain and pleasant woman with tons of personality who was well liked. Entering second grade I learned the sad and terrible news. She had been killed in a traffic accident during summer vacation in Paris.

A photo of her was placed on the art department wall in memory. It saddened me every time I saw it. I imagine a bright Parisian morning with her seated outside a café enjoying a latte and croissant while conversing in French with the people around her sharing laughter and having no inkling it would be her last day of life.

I didn't know her long or well, but I still grieved her.

Not long ago, Shark Tank featured a couple marketing a process that turns the carbon from cremated ashes into diamonds as a way to remember an extraordinary person. Despite the large stream of people I've lost to death over the years, the first person who sprang to mind was my art teacher way back in the 1950's. She was an amazing person. And she died in Paris! How cool was that!

The second person I thought of was myself for no other reason than sheer vanity. Anything left from my estate would go to that, a huge diamond! My close friend Rock'n Rose often refers to me as her beautiful friend. This way, that would continue every time she extended her hand. Aside from putting my gigantic ego in check, it dawned on me that I'm probably going to outlive my money.

However I have stormy-weather friends who are plenty worthy of becoming diamonds! Two passed away last decade, Pat and Margaret. They still shine brightly in my memory with a radiant brilliance that will never fade long as I am alive.

Cat and dog ashes are turned into diamonds as well! Every animal companion of mine was also worthy of one.

Diamonds are pretty, but similar in appearance. It's the cut and setting that makes them stand out. I would like to see more essence of spirit shining thru from these funeral trinkets.

For example, Margaret's would have been showy to reflect her taste and Pat's would display a classic yet distinctive cut and setting that would immediately catch the eye.

The same applies to animals. My cat Tasha was a Russian Blue with the heart of a lioness. Dogs over five times her size ran when she charged them. My dog Coco was impish and mischievous. Had she been born a person, I'm sure she would have been a practical jokester.

I would need to see a dash of those characteristics in the design; otherwise it would be just another piece of jewelry.

NUMBER NINE

I receive lots of compliments on my smile. And I must agree it's quite impressive. But it didn't come cheaply or easily, much less naturally. The inside of my mouth is a varied assortment of bridges, crowns, and an implant. I probably would have saved myself tons of money had I just gotten dentures at some previous point in the past, say the 8th Grade. However at this stage of my life I'd rather not go that route.

Last week I finally had my bad tooth extracted. After a terrible summer of numerous big out-of-the blue expenses it was the soonest I could afford it. Also I required a bone graft which will take several months to heal before a permanent bridge can be done.

This is my third bridge. And my ninth tooth extracted during my lifetime.

I may be nearing 70 but I take my looks as seriously as any 16 year old out there!

At age 12 I was scheduled to get braces but my parents backed out accusing the orthodontist of gouging.This was due to the fact he had one set price for the procedure. They thought my teeth weren't all that crooked to start. As I got older I discovered they turned down a bargain! Due to the fact my bite doesn't come together in the normal way I've had all manner of problems and expense with my teeth.

The last time I experienced a tooth extraction I was so heavily medicated that I needed a neighbor to almost carry me out to the car afterward. This time I was just heavily numbed.

My friend Marie offered to go with me. But since I was capable of driving myself home I saw no reason for inconveniencing her and wasting her entire morning.

Later in the day Marie came over bringing a big chocolate brownie chock full of delicious looking pecans. Unfortunately, I couldn't eat it. Nuts are on my Verboten List, at least for the time being. I wrapped it up and put it in my garage freezer. I can enjoy it next spring after the bone graft heals. Cakes, cookies, most pastries freeze well. Ironically the only dessert that doesn't is ice cream! Once opened it forms icky ice crystals that make it taste yucky.

I was prescribed nothing for pain, just an antibiotic to prevent infection. I bought extra strength Tylenol but didn't need it. After the numbness wore off there was only mild, but tolerable discomfort. I experienced more agony last summer when I injured my foot, but just suffered thru it and I survived.

The morning after surgery I felt fine. It was surprising how little pain was involved in the entire procedure. Perhaps it gets easier each time. After all this was number nine, hardly my first rodeo.

I brought the tooth home in my purse. I told friends I'd show it to them the next time we met for lunch. And if they were really good, I'd let them hold it.

YIPPEEE, HALLELUJAH, & YAY

Eastern Standard Time is back and it's dark by 6:00 PM just as it should be! I wish it was this way year round! We get way too much nasty noxious sunshine as it is especially here in Florida. Almost everyone has been brainwashed into believing sunshine is healthy for humans when in fact it's just the opposite.

I'd move to someplace in Alaska where it's dark for days on end if it weren't for the temperatures (I like it cool not freezing!), also there's the high prices, and the politics. -- Hey Sarah Palin, I've actually been to Russia and even strolled in Red Square. And you would fit in perfectly there as a citizen!

But Eastern Standard Time is back at long last now and this works out perfectly! At 6:00 PM I settle in to watch the news. I need darkness around me to fully enjoy TV! And I have just enough time beforehand to fix myself a mug of Bustelo coffee combined with a disk of Abuelita Mexican Drinking Chocolate. The perfect cup of hot mocho! Bring on the dark!

Of course there is an adjustment period. For over a week or more I'll be getting up at 4:30 AM and going to bed at 9:30 PM with plenty of naps in-between. But that's OK.

I keep reading about all those fools who want to make Daylight Savings Time permanent. Really! What are they thinking? Eastern Standard Time is perfect! I say get rid of Daylight Savings Time forever!!!

I look forward to that magic day when I can finally open my windows and let the free air-conditioning flow inside, always a blessed occasion that I celebrate with a breakfast of hot buttermilk biscuits, orange marmalade and Scottish Tea.

Before Global Warming got a foothold October and November were not summer months as they are now. 80 plus temperatures in November were unheard of when I was growing up. Ugh! Soon I'll be running my air-conditioner year round!

I just hope any chill hangs around long enough to bring out my winter wardrobe. I have so many gorgeous coats, sweaters, boots, & scarves that I seldom get to wear anymore! Curse you Climate Change! You are not only destroying the planet but my style as well!

This past summer was overlong, miserable, and expensive. And now, thankfully Hurricane season is over too, at long last, (at least until next June) another reason to celebrate!

And the most festive and wonderful holidays will soon be upon us. Hurray!!!

The best time of the year has arrived!!!