LUNCH & DEATH

 

During the double zero decade I was invited to numerous free luncheons from investment firms. 2007 was a particularly big year for this. My friend Irene (now deceased) & I seemed to attend one every month.

Nowadays I no longer receive invitations to these. Perhaps they’ve discovered that I’ve lost most of my money in so-called “safe investments.” Instead, I’m invited to luncheons by funeral and cremation services now. – I always attend, but only for the free food!

Death is a lucrative business! Our planet has an exploding population and none of us are getting out of here alive! Plus, a mortician will never be replaced by AI. It’s one of the few jobs that’s safe.

The last four of these stopped providing dessert. To me, a meal is incomplete without one. And I know they can afford it!

At the last one, the restaurant was spacious with a trendy vibe and had additional rooms for special functions. And unlike the previous places it wasn’t part of a chain. It was the type of place where dining felt like a treat.

This time, the hostess was an attractive young woman with a big personality. She lived in the coastal town where I grew up, just an hour south of here. She told us that ironically, she lived in a condo overlooking a cemetery.

I know the condo and that cemetery, it’s where my mother is buried. And I’d never want to live in that building, even though it’s lovely, since it’s too close to my mother for me.

As with the investment luncheons, some hosts are more aggressive than others. They remind me of dates who seem to think that because they bought you a meal, you owe them!

This host, a young hottie approached everyone asking, “Your place or mine?”

I declined, and I could tell she was quite unhappy with me.

Also, on the forms there’s usually a box to check if you do NOT want to be contacted again. And I always check that one, yet I’m frequently contacted anyway! – This time I was not.

I plan to be cremated. My dentist told me that if no one claims a body, it’s cremated for free. – I have no problem with this. I have a bigger issue with being exploited financially by a funeral home!

It’s not as if I’m still going to be around. I’m not planning on doing any haunting. – Unless Dictator Don is still in office. In that case, every time he walks into a dark room I’ll be there waiting. I promise!

My longtime friends of many decades are now dead. The others will probably miss me for a while, but they’ll move on, as they should. And most will probably be sloughing off the mortal coil themselves before long. All of us are members of the over 65 club. – In 2 months, I’ll be 10 years over!

Since I’ve had experiences with ghosts, I believe in an afterlife. We’ll meet again on the other side, sooner or later.