GREAT STORY, CRAPPY MOVIE

 

I remember it vividly although long ago, I was in my early 20’s. It was a comfortably cool spring afternoon, the kind of which “normal people” as my parents called them would be outside enjoying the weather.

Instead, I was sprawled out on my bedroom floor, but my mind was far away in a mysterious land called Styria fully engrossed in the horror Novella CARMILLA. I felt magically transported by a long dead author whose words captivated and enthralled me. I was gripped in suspense from the very first paragraph.

Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu instantly became a favorite author of mine. Right up there with Thomas Hardy.

Fast forward to 2025, I am now in my 70’s. I noticed one of my streaming services offered a movie version of this favorite novella. I was excited and couldn’t wait to view it!

Sadly, not long into this film, I was disappointed. Too many unnecessary liberties were created, while more compelling details were completely omitted. I realize some stories don’t translate well into films, but this one should have, all the elements were there.

Not to mention the pacing was monotonously slow, supposedly to build suspense, but it had the opposite effect. I was constantly struggling not to fall asleep.

Carmilla was portrayed as a lesbian vampire. I have nothing against lesbians. But I didn’t get that vibe from the novella. The only part of Laura that Carmilla lusted for was her blood. Remember Carmilla was a vampire! She required blood to sustain her.

If I was thrown together with someone who had a vat of melted chocolate strapped to them, I would react the same way Carmilla did to the main character Laura. It would be the chocolate I yenned for and not the person. 

In the novella there was no kissing or rolling around the floor as in the movie. And no romping around outdoors as with the characters in the TWIGHT franchise. I enjoyed that movie series although I prefer my vampires evil and blood lusty as their nature dictates.

But this awful so-called horror movie was loosely based on the brilliant and gripping novella. This far less intriguing version felt like a waste of time. If I ever meet Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu in death, I will apologize to him for watching it.