THE STREAM & THE DREAM

 

As a senior citizen, it seems the more advanced technology, the less reliable, not to mention risky. Every time I turn around someone is trying to hack or scam me. And it’s making me paranoid!

Recently, I ditched cable and started streaming to save money, but instead, it’s costing me a lot! Tech guys want an obscene amount to fix all these problems I’m constantly having.

One issue is that I’m frequently losing my connection despite purchasing a range extender. Sometimes, I can get it back by going to settings & doing a scan. But the last time, I couldn’t, no matter how many times I tried.

Earlier that AM I was on Facebook when suddenly my computer made a loud weird noise & went black as if it had blown a fuse! After a few seconds, it came back. It asked me what I had just plugged in, and started naming devices I don’t own, nor had ever heard of. I did an update and shut down.

I was able to stream on my TV until 10:00 PM when I lost my connection three quarters into a movie I was enjoying. Unable to get it back and in frustration, I gave up and went to bed. I had a difficult time falling asleep. And when I did, I had a vivid dream.

In it, I rose out of bed and walked downstairs into my kitchen. Seated at the table with a cup of tea was my close friend Irene, an elderly British lady who died almost 5 years ago. She seemed so real I never thought once about her being dead as we visited.

From my kitchen I could see down the hall into my office; a strange man was working on my computer. He was using crude instruments such as a hammer, screwdriver, & a crowbar. Occasionally he glanced over and smiled at me.

 “What the heck is he doing?” I asked Irene.

 “Leave him be,” she said.

Then my friend stood and told me she must leave, and I noticed the man was gone.

Later, when I awoke, I decided to unplug the TV since this usually worked when I lost my cable. However, I wanted to check the connection first.

I was horrified upon discovering my nearly brand-new TV now refused to come on. I checked the plug to make sure it was tight & also my computer connection. Both were fine, but still, nothing on my TV!

But I was persistent. Eventually it came on. However I found myself staring at a gray screen. I was ready to scream!

Then I hit the HOME button, miraculously my connection was restored!

I am constantly on the lookout for a reasonably priced tech person. I can’t always rely on the dead for help. They’ve earned their rest.

FOR THE LOVE OF LETTERS

 

I’ll admit I was an oddball as a kid. (In fact, I still am!) I loved writing letters. Writing one was just as much fun as receiving one. Plus, I always chose pretty stationery & stickers.

I was a prolific letter writer right up until the end of the double zero decade. By then most of my pen pals were either dead or lost to time and distance having grown in different directions.

Nowadays we have email & Facebook messenger which are faster, more impersonal, and subject to hacking. I miss those letters in the mail.

I’ll admit some of my pen pals were not as prompt in answering as was I, but most were. Some like my friend Margaret were on and off. But I loved those funny cards she sent filled with long letters and interesting articles or cartoons.

This is how I stayed in touch with my school friends during summer vacation. Back then, cellphones were in the realm of science fiction. And our regular phones had party lines where total strangers could listen in, comment, or order us off.

Here in Florida, during the 1960’s, school let out for summer on the last week of May and resumed the last week of August.

I recall one girl in junior high, an acquaintance with whom I shared a table in art class handed me her address on the last day and said, “Let’s write!”

Surprised, I was thrilled to have another pen pal! Just days after vacation began, I wrote her a 3 page letter. Then I waited, and waited, and I waited.

Finally, in July she answered. Her single page letter contained only a brief few paragraphs I will never forget the first line “I guess I’ll write to you.” -- What??? She was the one who shoved her address in my hand!!!

In this brief letter she asked if I was in contact with another girl named Julie and wanted HER address. None of us were what is referred to as popular girls. Julie and I were also summer pen pals. We had been for several years.

I felt hurt and was insulted! I never replied to this letter. In fact, I tore it up! And I kept a cool distance from this person when school resumed.

I also corresponded with cousins up north along with an aunt. One cousin was always prompt in answering. The others I eventually gave up on expecting any notion of a reply.

My aunt (my mother’s youngest sister) was a colorful, audacious character with quite a history. I always enjoyed her letters when she finally got around to it.

I never knew what I was about to discover in one, what juicy family secrets she was going to reveal that would horrify my parents. And a couple times she even sent me pornography! – And no, she wasn’t senile! Receiving a letter from her was always an adventure. I miss them to this day!

PHANTOM BOOKS

  

Now confess, we all did things that were dishonest in school. Mostly, this was about taking control of our lives at a time when every aspect was controlled by someone else. This confession of mine (one of them, anyway) goes back 50 years or more.  

And it involves book reports. I used to make them up, both written and oral. You've heard of fake news; well, these were fake books!

I thought up plots with made-up authors. This was so easy I'm surprised everyone didn't do it. -- Or maybe they did! But I knew I could never trust friends with my secrets. Kids of all sizes have big mouths.

It's not that I didn't have a love of reading. I was an eager magazine & newspaper reader. My family subscribed to The Saturday Evening Post & Reader’s Digest, and I looked forward to receiving both, as well as The Miami Herald & The Palm Beach Post which I read daily. Rarely was there time for books! Plus a book took up longer to read. Being young I wanted to be free to enjoy other things.

I have a natural talent for plotting and creating characters, along with an endless supply of tales for fiction despite my preference for real life stories. My creative well never runs dry.

Thankfully, the teachers never asked to see any of these books. But if they did, I would have a ready answer! --" My cousin took it back north after her visit." And if they should persist, I would say, "She lent it to a friend who lost it. "Fortunately, I was never forced to do any explaining. The teachers never caught on.

As I grew, I didn’t want my talent and love of dreaming up stories going to waste, so I decided to pursue becoming a novelist. My books are no longer phantoms, but real!  

A BALMY WINTER ON TOPAZ WATERS

 

Every book I write, I try to make as different as possible from the one before to stretch and grow as a writer. Besides, it’s boring to be limited to only one genre.

For many years I’ve been urged to write a romance. The problem is that I hate the romance genre. So, I decided to write one based more on reality.

However, I realize that readers of romance want fantasy instead! If you are one of these, my new novel A BALM WINTER ON TOPAZ WATERS is not for you!

Creative work (like everything else) is subjective. Everyone has different tastes and see life thru their own filter.

I love to play in gray areas with themes that make people uncomfortable. – I could never have written this any other way! Had I written a sweet little romance it wouldn’t have been half as interesting.

For my latest novel, I was largely inspired by a reprehensible attitude I frequently saw displayed on the Jerry Springer Show. We would like to believe when someone is deeply hurt, they become more empathetic, unfortunately that’s not always the case.

In fact, many turn in the opposite direction; believing they are now entitled, given carte blanche to do likewise to others as innocent as they once were. This is true of Ellen Lanfred, the main character in my novel.

My story also is partially inspired by the real-life Linda Evens, John & Bo Derrek love triangle. In the beginning, John did not want to hire the teenage Bo, until Linda persuaded him. Feeling secure in her marriage Linda stayed behind while John went off to Europe to film a movie with the teenager. -- Bo ended up replacing Linda as John’s wife!

Naturally, Linda was devastated and became bitter. And no one would have blamed her if she had remained that way.

But Linda took the high road. She forgave both and maintained an amicable relationship with the couple while moving on to forge a successful career on many fronts.

Linda Evans is to be admired. And if there is heaven above, she deserves to be elevated into the hierarchy. But from what I’ve observed in life, Linda is a precious rarity.

Ellen Lanfred, in my novel, is nothing like her! Basically, Ellen’s a good person, but if there’s a purgatory, she deserves to spend a little time there.

A close and dear friend of mine, never recovered from her husband’s betrayal. This man told her every day he loved her and then abandoned her for another woman. Even after thirty years she constantly brought him up in our everyday conversations. My friend was unable to move past this.

Ellen on the other hand is determined to move forward; however, this involves back-stabbing and stealing the beloved young husband of a much younger woman, one who is struggling to recover from a major trauma. A woman who trusts and considers her a friend. Ellen in her selfishness becomes contemptable.

Many readers will not like her, often I don’t even like her! But at the same time, I realize her actions stem from deep pain rather than malevolence.

I give Ellen the chance to redeem herself. But many readers still will not like her, especially at the end, although some will be applauding.

All my books are available on Amazon & Kindle.

I HEART ME

 

Ah, it’s Valentine’s month again!

Around this time of year, I see weepy letters in the advice columns from needy people crying, along with those on Facebook with boo hoo, boo hoo I'm alone on Valentine's Day! For me, it's WOO HOO! WOO HOO! I'm alone on another holiday. The day is ALL MINE!

I have spent every single Valentine's Day alone and I LOVE Valentine's Day!  It's a holiday and what's not to love about a holiday? Plus, there are chocolates and pretty cards involved! – Friends, relatives, & I exchange cards, and I buy myself candy, only the chocolates I prefer!

Valentine’s Day isn’t just for lovers!

Before the age of thirty I made five trips to Europe, toured Russia & the Ukraine, been to North Africa, also Finland, Guatemala, and the Bahamas, made two trips to Mexico, and also visited Canada at age eight. However, I was forty years old before I went out on my first date.

I recall Valentine's Day was loads of fun back in elementary school. We had class parties with fruit punch & decorated cookies. Everything about it felt special! And everyone in class received a Valentine card from everyone else whether we liked them or not.

More than once, I’ve purchased a heart-shaped cake for myself to celebrate. A friend laughingly suggested I write: I LOVE ME across the top. No need, the sentiment is already there! Hey, I love myself enough for ten people and I'm not ashamed to admit it!

Always on Valentine's Day I prepare a special meal for myself. Last year it was quiche with mushrooms, chives, & Havarti cheese served with a colorful salad. And for dessert I enjoyed the largest juiciest strawberries dipped in both white & dark chocolate, plus coconut-flavored tea all served upon my formal table beneath the chandelier. 

Hey, I’ve had boyfriends and dates since age forty. I was never happy in any of those relationships, I much prefer the company of my female friends. With them, we can have our separate lives and still be close. Men try to glom onto me and attach themselves like a goiter. And before long, I’m sick of them and want them gone.

I would never place my happiness in the hands of another person, that's where it always goes to die.

WARILY DOWN THE STREAM

 

As a senior citizen when I heard the word stream, I automatically thought of a flowing body water where salmon spawn. And as with anything that requires technology I'm among the last to get onboard.

As much as I hate ATT, I loved U-verse. Even the scaled down version was better than the cable I had with Comcast. And believe me I had plenty of issues with them too! Based on my experience one is incompetent and the other crooked. I won't say which is which.

Not being tech savvy, for a long-time streaming was out. My computer is migraine inducing enough.

Perhaps I should start baking again to lure someone's grandkid over here to help me. However that might not work with today's kids. They'd probably demand the gold in my back teeth, except that I don't have any.

My TV was old and starting to go. Since I don’t own a cellphone, this created problems with streaming. I was able to stream only free channels with Chromecast. And this required switching back & forth between 3 remotes!

I kept cable longer than I should because once my U-verse was gone I wouldn’t be able to get it back. – That’s ATT policy!  But then I received my last bill. Their prices don’t merely increase, each time the amount skyrockets! As much as I loved U-verse, I couldn’t afford to keep it any longer.

Unfortunately, switching was going to cost me plenty in order to start saving money.

I needed to purchase a smart TV. However, I had the good fortune of finding one online at Walmart with free shipping. It was 75 inches and cost me half of what I paid for my old 55 inch one. Thankfully, prices do come down over time with some items.

When VCR’s (not DVR’s) came out, they sold for $500 and I was unable to afford one. Fast-forward to the double zero decade. Now they sold for $35 and I owned 2.

Back to the present, my big new TV required a bigger table since my wall is divided. So I purchased the cheapest one for $100. – It arrived unassembled, I needed to hire someone. This dear young man also set up my TV at no extra cost.

Afterward, I paid a tech guy to come and teach me how to stream. There is definitely a learning curve here that I’m still adjusting to!

I only need one remote now, but (UGH) the remote is tiny! – Why is everything today made for elves! My vision is impaired due to posterior vitreous detachment, plus I can only enjoy TV in the dark! And trying to find the right button is always a hit or miss thing!

And due to expense, I must now suffer thru repeat commercials, plus introductions and recaps. -- Some let you skip the latter 2, but most don’t. I can actually feel my brain cells dying!

I miss my DVR, I recorded everything! It was wonderful fast-forwarding thru all that filler! Also what’s with actors today? They don’t speak, they mumble! Often, I had to rewind numerous times, plus raise the sound to decipher what was said. Now I’m left guessing!

If money was no object, I’d still have cable, but unfortunately that’s not the case.

I began streaming early in November. After Christmas, I discovered to my shock I’d been hacked! I didn’t know this was even possible until I googled it. But I knew something screwy was going on. There were too many “Continue Watching” on movies I never watched, along with films not my taste added to My List. -- It sure didn’t take long for the lowlife to find me!

I required the $130 an hour tech who set me up streaming to make an emergency trip before the scammers could upgrade the sites without my knowledge or lock me out altogether, which I learned they can do.

Streaming feels like a risky and backward step to me.

THE BROKEN YEAR

2024 will always go down in my history as the broken one; so many losses, and changes, along with one that was absolutely terrible!

It started early January, less than a week after New Year’s Day and over my birthday weekend. A dental crown (one in the front) came out in my breakfast. And my dentist was still closed for the holidays. He told me to buy Fixodent. I didn’t want to go out in public. I looked and felt like Grany Yokum.

After leaving the drugstore I discovered my car battery had died leaving me stranded in the parking lot. I don’t have a cellphone and never owned one. – Yes, I am one of those. This was the stuff of sitcoms, but in real life, it was NOT one bit funny! – I blogged about this.

Later I accidentally broke my favorite teacup, which was precious to me and irreplaceable. I bought it over 30 years ago from a thrift store. The cup was avocado green and went perfectly with most of my dishes.

Not long after, a wood paddle from my living room fan fell off. Had I been under it, I could have been seriously injured, if not killed. The fan needed replacing, that turned out to be far from simple!

Come Easter, my entire carton of eggs fell to the floor breaking every one! It was my first Easter without deviled eggs.

Then came the notorious internet passcode breach. Along with stress, this cost me a bundle since tech guys don’t come cheap!

Oh, and then I lost my Affordable Connectivity causing my ATT bill to skyrocket!

Next the umbrella I bought in the Galapagos Islands broke. I loved that umbrella! It had ears along with a painted cat face and was the same color as my teacup.

As summer was nearing its end, I knew my old computer would no longer be capable of updating after October. Another thing I was forced to replace! And I replaced my old printer as well. This had been broken for so many years I’d lost count.

Come October, Hurricane Milton now a tropical storm hit. However, the day before a tornado passed thru that was much worse. My neighbor called to inform me she’d received an alert. It was going to hit in 5 minutes and to take cover!

I’ve had plenty of experience with hurricanes but none with tornadoes. And the current ones striking Florida were whoppers! I heard a freight train sound along with near deafening booms!

The tornado tore up a mobile home park just 2 miles away! The following day, pieces of it were all the way over here!

At one point, due to increasing property taxes & obscenely high insurance, I considered selling my house and moving into a mobile home to have more disposable income. – Now I’ve discarded that idea!

Also, I had to discard my cable TV which I enjoyed, due to the now outrageous expense.  Streaming created issues with my old TV set, which was starting to go, anyway. One more thing I had to replace!

And WORST of all were the election results in November!!! Are the citizens of this country idiots or just fools? We’ve installed a dictator as president!!! Will the public eventually wise up and rise up, I’m not optimistic about this.

I am beyond disgusted as well as depressed.

I won’t even delve into all the health issues I’ve been experiencing. At my advanced age, every year I’m dealing with new ones adding to all my previous ailments.

I had decided no Christmas tree for 2024, I was in no mood to celebrate. Then, I realized that at my age, this might be my last Christmas without Trump as president. I refused to allow Trump to take this Christmas away from me! I erected a tree and celebrated my 2024 holiday to the hilt!