Back in Elementary School I thought all those kids I played
with would forever be in my life! We'd all grow up and old together. I even pictured
us as senior citizens; playing shuffle board, checkers, or sitting in rocking
chairs laughing and reminiscing about times past; all those corny things we watched
the old folks do and we'd be enjoying them to the hilt! But life unfolded
differently, or maybe it just unraveled. In retrospect, it mutated!
According to my mother, I was going to love High School.
"No more cliques and the kids are much nicer," she said. Well I found
the exact opposite to be true!
In Elementary, the cliques were loosely woven and most of
the kids were friendly. Also bullying and harassment was almost nonexistent. If
someone acted that way, at least 3 kids ran to get a teacher who quickly put a
stop to it.
However in High School all of that changed! Each year the
cliques became tighter. And worse, now there was a caste system that would
rival Victorian Brittan. One was never allowed to forget their place. Bullying and
harassment were not only tolerated, it became entertainment in a schadenfreude
sort of way. Often it happened right under the noses of teachers who chose to
look the other way.
Fortunately, my first year of Junior High, 7th grade was
spent in West Palm Beach at a private ungraded school. In my heart, I graduated
with THOSE kids! But that's a story for another post.
I returned to my hometown school in the 8th grade. My 6th
grade year there had been abomidable! All of those ugly things first began to rear
up, but covertly. In High School they were now out in the open and had free
reign.
My return also coinsided with my father losing his job. The
corporation he worked for had gone belly-up. Our entire lifestyle ended abruptly,
taking us by surprise! I discovered that when you fall down your peer group is
the first to start kicking and pummeling you! I was never one of the popular
kids to start and now I was a pariah.
Earlier this spring my High School graduating class held its
50 year reunion. Those HELL YEARS remain fresh in my mind! I was hoping most of
my former classmates were dead. They don't know how lucky they are that I
was never into guns or explosives!
I wouldn't have remained 3 days at a job under the same
conditions I endured there! Had they existed today, I would sue for harassment
and a hostile environment.
No longer am I friends with anyone from High School nor have
I been for decades. Sometimes I have to stop and ask myself, why. But it's always followed by that "Ah
Ha!" finger-snapping moment when I remember why.
My reunion was only an hour's drive down the coast. However
I had zero interest in going. The only ones attending would be X-friends, frenemies,
and the vast majority who never wanted to be my friend, period. Why would I
want to subject myself to that!
Rose, my friend since 2009, thought I should go just to
flaunt how well I've aged in front of all those bitches & bastards. She offered
to attend with me. But I saw no point in each of us paying $55 for an evening
with a crowd I never wanted to see again.
Now that I'm a senior citizen, I know of no one who plays
shuffleboard or checkers or even wants to. I live in Florida where old people
from other states come to die. I never see senior citizens sitting on a porch
anymore. They're probably all inside staring at screens.
Friends drift or fall away; sometimes they cut you loose
hacking off a small piece of you in the process. And then, there's the
frenemies, years later I found myself trying to extract their knives from my
back. However I managed, and always healed. But healing doesn't mean you
develop amnesia! High School is a place I still visit in nightmares.
I did not attend my 50 year reunion. Instead, I chose
happiness.
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