CONFESSIONS OF A FOOD BIGOT

“Don’t eat anything WHITE,” warned Oprah Winfrey. “It’s unhealthy!”

Well, I prefer WHITE food!!! – Brown rice, pasta, & bread; were never allowed inside my fridge, pantry, or even my house. They taste so awful to me it kills the pleasure of eating! Give me WHITE rice, pasta, bread, cake, powdered sugar donuts, & Camembert cheese! Anything WHITE, keep that other stuff away from me!

I remember buying chunks of white chocolate at the supermarket to make fudge. As I tossed it onto the counter the woman behind me leaned over. "Don't you know that stuff is like eating pure frosting," she scolded.

"Gosh, you say that as if it's a bad thing," I replied with a smirk. Inside my head I was screaming, "MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, LADY!!!"

Fast forward to the present, I must be careful of what I put into my mouth. The nerve damage in my feet acts as a shock collar if I stray too far from a healthy diet. Strange as it sounds, the pain can be controlled by cutting way back on anything too delicious. However it's better than being dependant on some expensive medication with a long list of side effects.

But thank goodness for my once- a -week doctor sanctioned cheat days! Plus I'm also allowed a special treat every now & then, too. The rest of the time, I'm suffering thru a lot of grilled tofu over kale & mixed veggies. Almost everything I consume now is salad based.

Tofu is white, but it's like the J.F.K. of white foods. It's good for you, but it's unsavory to me. Plain Greek yogurt is another good white food. I use it in place of sour cream which I much prefer.

However one vegetable I just can’t stomach is CARROTS!!! Recently, I bought a bag of frozen mixed veggies. The first thing I did was to remove and throw away all the carrots before placing the bag in my freezer. -- Yet, Carrot Cake is one of my all time favorite desserts! It's a mystery to me how a vegetable so repulsive and gag inducing can be transformed into such a heavenly tasting concoction! Guess it has something to do with all those walnuts, raisins, & coconut in the mixture; or perhaps its voodoo magic!

Until recently, I had never tasted a Brussels’ sprout. In my family, they were never served. The only reason I can imagine is because my father didn’t like them. All our meals were planned around him.  Anyway  yuck! I’ll never buy them again!!!

Apple cider vinegar is supposed to be sooo healthy, almost miraculously so!  But it tastes nasty to me! Honey helps some, but not much. I prefer WHITE vinegar and it tastes better on salads than most dressings!

I make plenty of frittatas, and what comedian Steve Martin refers to as the KKK omelet. (Egg whites only) But often I cheat and mix in a whole egg. Recently, I read that eggs are healthy and to forget what I've read in the past.

The new diet is here to stay. Even if it doesn't keep me out of the hospital or a nursing home, I love being able to fit into my smaller size clothes again.

Plus a small piece of dark chocolate once a day is now considered healthy, too. -- I think I can live with that!