What do Elvis Presley,
Stephen Hawking, Butterfly McQueen, and I, plus that creepy little North Korean
dictator Kim Jong-Un ALL have in common? Answer: We ALL have the same birthday!!!
You could not come up with a more diverse group of individuals. This is why
astrology is nothing but a load of $#&!!!
All of us born under the
sign of the mergoat. (Capricorn) This is an earth sign, although the goat has a
fin. Why is that?
Over the decades, I’ve met several
women who share my birthday, 2 born the same year. We are as dissimilar as a
basket of pineapples, golf balls, & lug nuts. Now astrologers argue that
other factors are in play such as time of birth and location. They claim it’s a
science and is accurate if done correctly.
Around 1965 a famous
astrologer charted Jacqueline Kennedy for THE SATURDAY EVENING POST. Asked if
she would remarry, “NO was the definitive answer,” he declared. “She belonged
to her country now!” – Well that turned out to be a real hoot!!!
Every day, I read my
horoscope out of curiosity. I’ve been doing this since I was 14 and I’m now 64.
Only ONCE, during all those decades did I receive a correct prediction! It
happened when I was 33. The newspaper astrologer predicted that I would receive
a gift from a stranger. That evening, I was meeting my brother’s new girlfriend.
We were treating her to a belly-dancing performance at a local restaurant for
Greek night. As soon as she stepped from her car the girlfriend handed me a box
of chocolates! OH WOW!!! Magic forces here!!! Oooooooo!!!
Not long before, I lost my
CETA job thanks to the newly elected Ronald Reagan. I went on lots of
interviews but was unable to get hired. This left me depressed, to say the
least. Thru the mail, I was offered a special deal on an astrological chart,
along with monthly predictions from a popular 1980’s astrologer, an attractive
blonde lady I had seen on several TV talk shows. She seemed convincing. I was
curious and hopeful.
When my chart arrived, I thought
there must be a mix-up! This person was NOT me! Ditto for the prediction which
I’ll never forgot! -- I would be offered a lucrative job overseas; soon I would
be hosting a wine & cheese party. (Yeah,right!) When the following month’s prediction
arrived, I returned it unopened. They sent me a bill! I wrote across it that
their chart and predictions were as remote from my life as Pluto!!!
Shortly after, I received a
letter from some esoteric group. They claimed I would never fit in with regular
people because I was a BEYONDER! Naturally, they wanted to guide and help me
fulfill my true destiny for a price. I smelled a scam!!!
A psychic astrologer wrote several
months later to reach out. He viewed me in a trance and knew I needed his help.
Because I was a special case, he would give me a discount. I sent his letter
flying straight into the garbage!
Not long after that, another
wrote, this one an older woman. “I love you, Dianne.” were her first words. She
claimed to know everything about me, (via trance). Plus she intended to make me
rich, provided I send her $100 first! – That letter got torn up before being
tossed!
Before long, I was receiving
a flood of these in the mail! Clearly I was on this SUCKER LIST thanks to that TV
astrologer.
It seems I’m quite the
popular gal in trances! The latest claimed that in her vision I stood before a
Tudor style mansion. She saw me hosting a huge party with children running
across my vast lawn while I was serving champagne & grilling steaks. She
swore this would be my reality if I would just hire her to advise me.
In the 1st place,
I hate children; I would NEVER invite them onto my property. 2nd I
do NOT drink alcohol and would NEVER serve it to anyone! 3rd I do
NOT eat mammals for humane and ethical reasons! -- So much for her psychic
abilities!!! All she had to do was Google me for more accurate info! That is
probably what MOST of these cons do, anyway.
And now that I have email,
my SPAM is full of this garbage, sandwiched between those foreigners who want
to give me all their millions. Once you get on the SUCKER LIST, you’re there
for eternity.
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