COMPUTERS SHMOOTERS

It’s no secret that I struggle with technology! I still don’t own a cell phone, just a land-line. I know this is considered seriously uncool, but I’m free to be this way! It’s 1 of the perks of being old!

Recently, I purchased another book that claimed to simplify computers for seniors. They lied!!! I could have read the 1^st chapter over & over from now until doomsday and still wouldn’t understand what I was reading. I returned it for a refund!

What I really need is a book that breaks down and defines all those computer terms in the 1^st chapter. The ensuing chapters should focus upon the application of each. Instead, they throw everything at you at one time! Hell, half of it may as well be written in Chinese!

The good news is that I did not lose my young Tech guy, Jake after all! He has been slowly closing down his computer repair and tutorial service. Thankfully, because we have become friends he will continue to help me when I need it. Jake is a gem! I have also hired him to hang my beaded curtain, fix my broken kitchen cabinet door, and do other assorted jobs. Jake reminds me of my father in that he is as equally skilled with his hands as he is head smart.-- Although my father was as equally frustrated and flummoxed by computers as I am!

In the past, I’ve hired more than a few Tech guys. Once, when I could not get Jake and I needed someone immediately, I called a man from the yellow pages. He was a laconic, middle-aged sort who charged $100 an hour. I stated that I was putting our session on the clock because I was on a fixed income. Well the S.O.B. charged an extra $5 for the time it took to write his check!

Jake even purchased a microwave for me on his own time after mine broke. Jake is the best!

Not long ago, I was in a store when the computer was down, I remarked to the kid behind the counter that I couldn’t understand how anyone could possibly remember all those steps, but then I didn’t grow up with computers. He replied, “Oh come on lady, they had computers back in the 80’s!” He gave me a look as if I was too stupid to live.

HE wasn’t even around in the 80’s, I was! Personal computers were rare, then! No one in my circle owned one until 2000! Some businesses used them in the 80’s, but only about half!

During the 90’s, I got a word processor. To my astonishment it was already obsolete. Neighbors and acquaintances would come over to gaze upon it with awe; none of these people were into technology!

With this machine, I could do anything in either 3 steps, 4 at the most. Plus it came with a manual! Everything was explicitly and simply explained. Also an 800 number was included! Plus I could reach a technician right away, no menus or death holds! And there was none of this, “Oh that didn’t work, now let’s try this.” Issues were cleared up immediately. I miss that machine terribly!

Later, problems arose because it was old technology. The local office depot had to order supplies just for me. And with age it kept breaking down more frequently. The only repairman qualified to fix it was located in West Palm Beach, an hour south of where we lived. After my father & I moved to Vero Beach, it was 2 hours away. It became too inconvenient.

Now back to the 1980’s; I recall when my pious cousin and aunt came for a stay, they invited friends to our house, religious cuckoos who swore the anti-Christ would be a computer. And my relatives agreed!

That reminded me of an old pill of a teacher I had during the early 1960’s. She believed likewise about TV’s! Often, she told with pride about moving into her new home and the 1^st thing she did was to rip out the TV by the wires and throw it in the trash. She didn’t want her family exposed to mind pollution or her young son to see half-naked saloon girls, by golly!

Computers have their place in my life. The only thing I have against these machines is that I don’t like having them forced on me at every turn. My 2 close friends Pat & Margaret passed from this world at the end of the last decade never having owned or needing one.

Some of the best outside workers I’ve hired were senior men. Whenever I would ask for an estimate to be emailed, I was told with a chuckle, “I never mess with computers.” – Often, I wish I didn’t have to!