THE UGLIEST SHADE OF GREEN

I’ve heard said that simplicity is the ultimate form of sophistication. If that is true, I’ve seen plenty of sophisticated ditch-diggers and stable-muckers. – Get real! Simplicity is for women who want to fade into the background and remain there.

When my friend Margaret entered a room it was like a starburst!!! Margaret was a woman of pizazz and dazzle. She loved bling and all her many beautiful accouterments. She was noticed and remembered, always! Margaret possessed a powerful presence. She turned men’s heads and women green with envy. She was my Muse, I blog about her frequently and with fondness.

She was the woman for whom 2 men killed themselves, literally. (Read my blog: A TRUE FEMME FATALE!) Margaret led the most interesting life of anyone I’ve ever known. She was a former professional dancer who went back to school later in life and became a doctor of osteopathy. Margaret oozed sophistication. I’ve never met a man even half as fascinating. And NO, there was nothing sexual between us.

Margaret was around my mother’s age, although she was the opposite as possible. Mom was one of those women of simplistic style. In other words, too unattractive to sport glamorous attire, my mother was also as unsophisticated as they come. But that doesn’t mean she wasn’t plenty cruel and manipulative.

Margaret on the other hand, had a kind and generous heart. In spite of this, she had difficulty making and keeping female friends. Why, was no mystery! Margaret had a habit of rendering other women invisible. Also they didn’t want her anywhere near their husbands!

However, they needn’t have worried. Unlike my Aunt Kiki, Margaret was a woman of high morals. “If I loved a man enough to bring him to my bed, I’d want him to be my husband, first,” she told me. Unlike most women of our time, Margaret had class and character. She treated herself like gold and it showed.

She had no less than 4 husbands in her past. The first 2 were youthful mistakes, but she didn’t regret either. Even the first one, the husband who would get drunk and beat her, from that marriage her first child came into being.

Margaret cherished her daughter, but their relationship was strained. They were on different wave-lengths. Her daughter was a plain-Jane and Margaret was a fancy-Nancy.

I was a pretty-Kitty and one woman Margaret couldn’t render invisible. We clicked instantly and became life-long friends. However we were as different as we were similar. But we shared a passion for fashion!

On one of her visits, Margaret was sporting a trendy red leather outfit with tight-fitting slacks, a crop jacket, & newsboy hat. -- Your average 20 year old could not have worn that outfit as well! Margaret never lost her dancer’s figure. The lady should have been applauded!

My (then) neighbor, a woman in-between us in age, inquired as to Margaret’s number of years on this planet. I told her Margaret refused to divulge it. However since she had adult children around my age, I could easily guess.

“She tries to pass herself off as younger by dressing like a teenager.” My neighbor sniffed with derision.

“It’s remarkable that she can,” I replied. I really wanted to say, “I’d love to see you try to stuff that big butt and gut of yours into those tight red pants!” Also I wanted to scream, “Jealousy makes you ugly women appear even uglier!!!”

I had a memorable date a few years back. I was treated to an expensive dinner and a live performance of La Cage au Folles with professional touring actors. The restaurant made us late and we were rushed. The parking lot was full. My date dropped me off to get our pre-paid tickets while he parked the car.

I was wearing an elegant ensemble consisting of a tight ankle-length, rather low-cut dress with a gold bolero and heels. This was evening after all! Plus it was a dressy occasion.

After I picked-up the tickets, a couple of women walked by. “What a beautiful lady you are!” One exclaimed.

Before I could thank her, the other piped up, “Five dollars!” she said with a snort. They both started laughing.

I wasn’t going to let that pass from these 2 frump-a-dump losers. I turned around and hollered, “What did you just say!”

The first one stammered for an answer.

Just then, my date came strolling up. He was someone prominent in the community, a man frequently in the newspaper. From the expressions on their faces I could tell they recognized him. It was priceless!

These type of put-downs hurt Margaret. To me, they’re a badge of accomplishment.