SIX SEASONS OF HANDMAIDENS

 

I’ve been streaming for less than a year with only a few paid sites to save money, all with (ugh) commercials. However now I’m able to watch series that were once unavailable to me. One that has been on my wish list for years is THE HANDMAID’S TALE. I recently binge watched this and I must say it didn’t disappoint!

My hat is off to Margaret Atwood author of the novel this series is based upon. She has truly created something extraordinary that will be remembered forever.

I watched this over so many evenings it began to feel like a dystopian soap opera. However, soap operas have their appeal and are addictive. Plus, this one was particularly gripping, not to mention scary, since I can see something similar happening now due to our current political climate. Twenty years ago, I never imagined it possible that the United States could ever be taken over by a cult.

The only issue I had was with the casting. I find it unbelievable Commander Waterford who had an accomplished wife as beautiful as a supermodel, would cheat behind her back with the bovine Offhead/June.

On the other hand, it reminded me of the true story about the poor lobster fisherman’s son whose mom sent him off to school every day with a lobster sandwich because that’s all they could afford. He envied his classmates, drooling over their peanut butter sandwiches.

I love chocolate truffles, but if I had them every day, they would cease to be special.

After completing Season 5, and half-way thru Season 6 the final one, I found myself suddenly locked out of HULU for which I was paying! I was informed that now I required a Disney account to access it which would add to my ongoing bill!

Geez, I’m an adult! I didn’t want the damn Disney! I have no interest in seeing people frolicking and singing with woodland creatures. I’d sooner see them fornicating with forest animals!

I was forced to call my $150 per hour tech guy. The one who set me up streaming. I resented having to do this! However, he solved the problem.

Thankfully I was able to finish watching this series that I enjoyed. It’s also a cautionary tale that shouldn’t be ignored.

APPLIANCE RELIANCE

 

Refrigerators & freezers like their owners grow old and die in similar ways. First come the popping cracking noises followed by moaning and growing in misery and eventually incontinence. When you find a puddle by your fridge you can blot it up with a Depend's diaper, but its life is near the end.

Maybe it's because I'm alone but I get attached to my appliances. A friend reminded me they can't love you back. But I don't need them to! I'm not that emotionally needy.

My oldest appliances feel like family. Others are like employees whom I've worked with; some are better at their job than others.

I still miss my first microwave oven. Never once did I need to move food around during mid cycle to ensure it cooked thoroughly. Ditto for my previous toaster oven! It was larger & simpler to operate. My current one required reading a manual to operate.

Back in the day before DVRs I went thru a slew of VCRs. One, a cheap off brand, (I swear to God) could miraculously record programs even during a power outage! Sadly, it broke after only two years and the brand was discontinued.

In the old days appliances were made to last! The space heater I brought to Vero Beach had to be at least 50 when it died. I was age 55 at the time and I remember it being used to heat our home when I was an infant. My parents brought it down from Michigan in 1952.

My current refrigerator is the best one I've ever owned! It's a gorgeous gigantic silver & black one. I purchased the spring of 2004 before the back-to-back hurricanes hit in the fall. This was two years before I lost a staggering amount of money in what my (then) financial advisor assured me was a safe investment. It’s still running fine as of this writing.

However, I’ve had 3 garage freezers since 2005! The last one (I just replaced) was purchased in 2017. I remember well the day it arrived; I’d had cataract surgery that morning and it was delivered that afternoon. The thing didn’t even last 10 years!

I was recently told by a salesman in the appliance dept that newer models are deliberately designed by the manufacturers to last only between 5 to 7 years forcing customers to replace them sooner.

This sucks, they should be ashamed!

I WANT "MY BIRTHDAY" PARADE

 

President Bone Spurs just spent 40 million or more to throw himself a military birthday parade. I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around that amount. Wouldn’t this be better served to help the citizens of our country and the environment instead of cutting or eliminating services altogether. We are not being governed, we’re being plundered! The actual waste and fraud is the man currently occupying the White House.

This guy is a draft dodger who called our veterans suckers & losers. Why he received even ONE vote in ANY election is beyond me! And did I forget to mention he’s also a convicted felon, rapist, & career grifter for whom lying is as natural as breathing. He belongs in prison, NOT the White House!

Bone spurs phooey! I’ve seen photos of him playing tennis. He’s a coward who was afraid to serve! He’s nothing but a big baby always whining about something. Yet this chicken TACO threw himself a military parade like those of dictator Kim Jong Un in North Korea.

Speaking of Kim Jong Un, we share the same birthday, January 8.

AND here’s a fun, little known fact: January 8 was once a big federal holiday in the USA comparable to July 4, (Google it) this was to commemorate the Battle of New Orleans. Unfortunately, our Civil War ended this holiday permanently.

Sometimes I dance around my house bellowing out The Battle of New Orleans song. It’s the kind of tune that makes you want to get up and do a jig! It was a popular song played on all the radio stations during the 1950’s when I was a kid.

The Civil War has been over for a long time now. I think January 8 should be reinstated as a federal holiday with parades! And leading them should be all the grown-up January 8 babies proudly singing The Battle of New Orleans! The crowd can clap their hands, stomp their feet, or sing right along.

Oh, and by the way, I proudly participated in the No Kings protest on Flag Day June 14. And plan to protest in any future ones until Dictator Don is history!

TOPAZ WATERS & MEMORIES

 

My latest novel A BALMY WINTER ON TOPAZ WATERS (available on Amazon) was based much upon my personal experiences. I lived in Hobe Sound briefly as a child in first grade. So, there was absolutely no lust, adultery, or backstabbing then. However, I observed a lot of this later in life. My own parents became part of such a triangle.

I set this story in Hobe Sound because during the 1950’s it was one of the most scenic and beautiful places I’d ever seen. This was long before the crowds and concrete.

The gorgeous acreage on the Intracoastal Waterway that I describe in my novel was exactly like the one my family rented. Nowadays you’d have to be a millionaire to rent a similar property, but things were different back then. Even the vibrant floral lane was exactly that!

And the family-owned donut shop in the novel existed as well! It sold the most delicious donuts I’ve ever tasted before or since.

Another reason I set the story during the late 1950’s was due to the fact it was on the verge of the cultural shift that arrived in the 1960’s.

Bikini bathing suits were considered scandalous as well as trashy. When the main character Ellen Lanfred discovers one in a daughter’s suitcase during a brief visit, she freaks out! Her ex-husband refused to sell these in their chain of department stores. He considered them indecent.

This youngest daughter Kimberly is plucky and rebellious. She’s also a coed who has blossomed into quite a beauty. And with her sister she’s on her way to Fort Lauderdale for spring break. Mother Ellen won’t confide in Kimberly of her young lover for fear she’ll steal him. So, she goes to great lengths to prevent their meeting.

Also a major character in the story suffers from dementia. Along with cancer, this unfortunately is another area I’m too familiar. My stepmother had this condition. For a long while, my father was in denial. Eventually, her behavior became so bizarre he had no choice but to face reality. Each off-the-wall thing I describe in my novel this character did, I witnessed personally!

Every book I author is written with my whole heart and contains a little piece of my soul.

SLAM! BAM! TIS A SCAM!

 

Recently, I received a phone call from someone claiming to be from Columbia Pictures wanting to buy the rights to my novel, THE HOUSE OF SIN AND SPLENDOR, for a movie version. And they were willing to pay me $300,000.

First of all, I’d want $500,000.  And second, I see this story as more of a series, since it encompasses many decades unfolding thru characters’ conversations, along with a past life hypnotic regression of the main character Arlene.

Later, after the regression she has an out-of-body experience and visits the past guided by a ghost.

Arlene has psychic abilities which she was forced to hide and deny, due to being raised by her fanatically religious grandparents. Eventually she comes to embrace her gift.

I sat listening to this message which came up on my answering machine as Unknown Caller. The guy kept calling me Deanne – My name is Dianne!

Since I’m a senior citizen I don’t appreciate some stranger referring to me as “Hey Deanne!”

In the background I could hear numerous people on phones. If that wasn’t a scammer’s boiler room, then I don’t know what is! I could smell the stench right thru my answering machine.

It reminded me of that 1980’s Florida serial killer who roamed shopping malls carrying an empty camera. He’d approach young women and claim to be a photographer for a big modeling agency.

He’d tell them, “You have great potential. But first, you must sign papers and I left those in my car.” Naturally he was parked in a secluded spot where he’d knock them out and lock them in the trunk.

Scammers just as serial killers lure and often catch victims thru the person’s aspirations, fantasies, & egos. This is easy now! Way too much info is exposed over the internet. And these cons are getting sneakier all the time!

GREAT STORY, CRAPPY MOVIE

 

I remember it vividly although long ago, I was in my early 20’s. It was a comfortably cool spring afternoon, the kind of which “normal people” as my parents called them would be outside enjoying the weather.

Instead, I was sprawled out on my bedroom floor, but my mind was far away in a mysterious land called Styria fully engrossed in the horror Novella CARMILLA. I felt magically transported by a long dead author whose words captivated and enthralled me. I was gripped in suspense from the very first paragraph.

Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu instantly became a favorite author of mine. Right up there with Thomas Hardy.

Fast forward to 2025, I am now in my 70’s. I noticed one of my streaming services offered a movie version of this favorite novella. I was excited and couldn’t wait to view it!

Sadly, not long into this film, I was disappointed. Too many unnecessary liberties were created, while more compelling details were completely omitted. I realize some stories don’t translate well into films, but this one should have, all the elements were there.

Not to mention the pacing was monotonously slow, supposedly to build suspense, but it had the opposite effect. I was constantly struggling not to fall asleep.

Carmilla was portrayed as a lesbian vampire. I have nothing against lesbians. But I didn’t get that vibe from the novella. The only part of Laura that Carmilla lusted for was her blood. Remember Carmilla was a vampire! She required blood to sustain her.

If I was thrown together with someone who had a vat of melted chocolate strapped to them, I would react the same way Carmilla did to the main character Laura. It would be the chocolate I yenned for and not the person. 

In the novella there was no kissing or rolling around the floor as in the movie. And no romping around outdoors as with the characters in the TWIGHT franchise. I enjoyed that movie series although I prefer my vampires evil and blood lusty as their nature dictates.

But this awful so-called horror movie was loosely based on the brilliant and gripping novella. This far less intriguing version felt like a waste of time. If I ever meet Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu in death, I will apologize to him for watching it.

AN EGGLESS EASTER

 

No matter the holiday I always made deviled eggs as a side dish. It was my tradition. However when egg prices started to soar I stopped buying them out of protest and sheer disgust. – And I continue to do so!

And I seriously doubt my HOA (fees have tripled since the pandemic) would appreciate me raising chickens in my yard! It’s the kind of stupid advice only someone in the Trump administration would give. And what happened to “Prices will go down on day one”??? – Just one of a multitude of lies. Why is anyone surprised!

Also this meant giving up omelets & frittatas. As with deviled eggs there’s so many different and delicious ways to make them. A favorite breakfast of mine was to scramble an egg, mix it with pickle or sweet banana pepper juice, microwave for 30 seconds, & then serve on a buttermilk or cinnamon raisin English muffin.

I thought it would be harder to give eggs up, but there’s plenty of other options. In fact, anything you normally eat for lunch or dinner you can also enjoy for breakfast. Leftover slices of pizza are one example. And I love those round peanut butter & honey uncrustable sandwiches from the frozen food section. These are a favorite Saturday morning breakfast.

And there’s always the old standby, boxed cereal. Just stay away from the kiddie stuff. I prefer Great Grains or shredded wheat. I’ve never been a fan of oatmeal or grits! But I love breakfast potatoes! They are delicious in casseroles, patties, baked, or blitzes, etc.

Also there’s toast, rolls, bagels, any type of bread. Maybe it’s because I grew up in South Florida, but I prefer Cuban bread to French or Italian; but all of them are good. Just spread a slice with hummus (there’s a lot of variety) and you have a tasty breakfast.

Back in the 1970’s when I was touring Europe and beyond, many of my trips included a continental breakfast. This consisted of rolls with butter or a selection of jam plus coffee. We could have as many as we wanted.

I recall the Japanese owned and operated hotel I stayed in Paris in 1978. For breakfast we were given not just rolls, but croissants, some stuffed with chocolate along with other breakfast pastries.

And there’s always pancakes or waffles, but I’d limit these (or anything sweet) to once a week.

There exists plenty of options besides eggs!

Always, my breakfast includes unsweetened apple sauce with fresh fruit or frozen that I thaw in the fridge the night before.

But thanks to that bloated orange buffoon in the White House, now it’s back to the drawing board!!!

Unfortunately, the price of EVERYTHING in the supermarket has soared due to these stupid & unnecessary Trump tariffs!!! Soon, eating period will be a luxury.