WARILY DOWN THE STREAM

 

As a senior citizen when I heard the word stream, I automatically thought of a flowing body water where salmon spawn. And as with anything that requires technology I'm among the last to get onboard.

As much as I hate ATT, I loved U-verse. Even the scaled down version was better than the cable I had with Comcast. And believe me I had plenty of issues with them too! Based on my experience one is incompetent and the other crooked. I won't say which is which.

Not being tech savvy, for a long-time streaming was out. My computer is migraine inducing enough.

Perhaps I should start baking again to lure someone's grandkid over here to help me. However that might not work with today's kids. They'd probably demand the gold in my back teeth, except that I don't have any.

My TV was old and starting to go. Since I don’t own a cellphone, this created problems with streaming. I was able to stream only free channels with Chromecast. And this required switching back & forth between 3 remotes!

I kept cable longer than I should because once my U-verse was gone I wouldn’t be able to get it back. – That’s ATT policy!  But then I received my last bill. Their prices don’t merely increase, each time the amount skyrockets! As much as I loved U-verse, I couldn’t afford to keep it any longer.

Unfortunately, switching was going to cost me plenty in order to start saving money.

I needed to purchase a smart TV. However, I had the good fortune of finding one online at Walmart with free shipping. It was 75 inches and cost me half of what I paid for my old 55 inch one. Thankfully, prices do come down over time with some items.

When VCR’s (not DVR’s) came out, they sold for $500 and I was unable to afford one. Fast-forward to the double zero decade. Now they sold for $35 and I owned 2.

Back to the present, my big new TV required a bigger table since my wall is divided. So I purchased the cheapest one for $100. – It arrived unassembled, I needed to hire someone. This dear young man also set up my TV at no extra cost.

Afterward, I paid a tech guy to come and teach me how to stream. There is definitely a learning curve here that I’m still adjusting to!

I only need one remote now, but (UGH) the remote is tiny! – Why is everything today made for elves! My vision is impaired due to posterior vitreous detachment, plus I can only enjoy TV in the dark! And trying to find the right button is always a hit or miss thing!

And due to expense, I must now suffer thru repeat commercials, plus introductions and recaps. -- Some let you skip the latter 2, but most don’t. I can actually feel my brain cells dying!

I miss my DVR, I recorded everything! It was wonderful fast-forwarding thru all that filler! Also what’s with actors today? They don’t speak, they mumble! Often, I had to rewind numerous times, plus raise the sound to decipher what was said. Now I’m left guessing!

If money was no object, I’d still have cable, but unfortunately that’s not the case.

I began streaming early in November. After Christmas, I discovered to my shock I’d been hacked! I didn’t know this was even possible until I googled it. But I knew something screwy was going on. There were too many “Continue Watching” on movies I never watched, along with films not my taste added to My List. -- It sure didn’t take long for the lowlife to find me!

I required the $130 an hour tech who set me up streaming to make an emergency trip before the scammers could upgrade the sites without my knowledge or lock me out altogether, which I learned they can do.

Streaming feels like a risky and backward step to me.

THE BROKEN YEAR

2024 will always go down in my history as the broken one; so many losses, and changes, along with one that was absolutely terrible!

It started early January, less than a week after New Year’s Day and over my birthday weekend. A dental crown (one in the front) came out in my breakfast. And my dentist was still closed for the holidays. He told me to buy Fixodent. I didn’t want to go out in public. I looked and felt like Grany Yokum.

After leaving the drugstore I discovered my car battery had died leaving me stranded in the parking lot. I don’t have a cellphone and never owned one. – Yes, I am one of those. This was the stuff of sitcoms, but in real life, it was NOT one bit funny! – I blogged about this.

Later I accidentally broke my favorite teacup, which was precious to me and irreplaceable. I bought it over 30 years ago from a thrift store. The cup was avocado green and went perfectly with most of my dishes.

Not long after, a wood paddle from my living room fan fell off. Had I been under it, I could have been seriously injured, if not killed. The fan needed replacing, that turned out to be far from simple!

Come Easter, my entire carton of eggs fell to the floor breaking every one! It was my first Easter without deviled eggs.

Then came the notorious internet passcode breach. Along with stress, this cost me a bundle since tech guys don’t come cheap!

Oh, and then I lost my Affordable Connectivity causing my ATT bill to skyrocket!

Next the umbrella I bought in the Galapagos Islands broke. I loved that umbrella! It had ears along with a painted cat face and was the same color as my teacup.

As summer was nearing its end, I knew my old computer would no longer be capable of updating after October. Another thing I was forced to replace! And I replaced my old printer as well. This had been broken for so many years I’d lost count.

Come October, Hurricane Milton now a tropical storm hit. However, the day before a tornado passed thru that was much worse. My neighbor called to inform me she’d received an alert. It was going to hit in 5 minutes and to take cover!

I’ve had plenty of experience with hurricanes but none with tornadoes. And the current ones striking Florida were whoppers! I heard a freight train sound along with near deafening booms!

The tornado tore up a mobile home park just 2 miles away! The following day, pieces of it were all the way over here!

At one point, due to increasing property taxes & obscenely high insurance, I considered selling my house and moving into a mobile home to have more disposable income. – Now I’ve discarded that idea!

Also, I had to discard my cable TV which I enjoyed, due to the now outrageous expense.  Streaming created issues with my old TV set, which was starting to go, anyway. One more thing I had to replace!

And WORST of all were the election results in November!!! Are the citizens of this country idiots or just fools? We’ve installed a dictator as president!!! Will the public eventually wise up and rise up, I’m not optimistic about this.

I am beyond disgusted as well as depressed.

I won’t even delve into all the health issues I’ve been experiencing. At my advanced age, every year I’m dealing with new ones adding to all my previous ailments.

I had decided no Christmas tree for 2024, I was in no mood to celebrate. Then, I realized that at my age, this might be my last Christmas without Trump as president. I refused to allow Trump to take this Christmas away from me! I erected a tree and celebrated my 2024 holiday to the hilt!

THE TWELVE BREAKFASTS OF CHRISTMAS

 

Actually, FOURTEEN but I've always been bad at math! The week before Christmas and after, I treat myself to a different breakfast every morning; each is always served with fresh fruit, usually blueberries, strawberries, or raspberries and tea; delicious varieties of teas such as Wild Berry, Peach, Cinnamon, & Orange Passionfruit Jasmine, just to name a few.

For my holiday breakfasts, one morning it could be buttermilk biscuits with preserves or honey- butter and a week later Brazilian cheese bread. Also, omelets & frittatas can be made in many different creative ways. Plus, I love those Uncrustables from the supermarket for breakfast. My favorite is the honey & peanut butter; but there's always a delicious chocolate stuffed one for the following week! Plus, those tiny pizza cupcakes also make a great breakfast, as well as empanadas and gruyere & green onion croquettes.  

For my Christmas Eve breakfast I love miniature quiches. Then, on Christmas Day I enjoy walnut pancakes, or fig & orange phyllo bites. – The later, as well as most I’ve listed can be found in the frozen food section of the supermarket ready to bake.

And for my New Year's Eve breakfast I delight to raspberry & brie hor de oeuvres. New Year's Day its ginger ale pancakes dusted with powdered sugar.

Come up with your own list to make the holidays extraordinary and remember to be creative! You can diet in January.

If you don’t already own a toaster oven, get one! You’ll save on your electric bill by not having to heat a big oven. And be sure to unplug it when not in use. These days I keep the microwave unplugged when not in use as well.

And my table is always festively decorated to make sure my holidays feel as well as taste special! You can buy plenty of beautifully festive ones at the Dollar Store. – Do this before prices rise again!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

THE EMPRESS ON CHRISTMAS

 

Her name was never mentioned in any history class of mine. I was well into my 30’s when I discovered this extraordinary woman, Elisabeth of Bavaria, Empress of Austria and Queen of Hungary.

I made certain to read everything I could about her. She became a favorite historical figure. This sovereign remains well known and revered in Europe but is mostly unknown here. In her time, she was known mostly by her nickname Sisi (pronounced Cee cee).

Elisabeth’s older sister was the one slated to marry the young Emperor Franz Joseph of Austria. This was considered a done deal by their parents. But once Franz (a notorious horn dog) set eyes upon the beautiful 16-year-old teenager he defied even his controlling manipulative mother and married Sisi instead.

And this woman truly was the mother-in-law from hell with no concept of boundaries when it came to their marriage. She considered Elisabeth a silly young bride due to her quirkiness, often calling her unworthy and worthless.

Even after the birth of her two daughters, Elisabeth was unable to feel secure in her position. Her mother-in-law made it clear Elisabeth could be replaced and discarded due to the lack of a male heir. Fortunately, her next child was a son.

A few years back, TCM featured a European made 1950’s movie & sequel about the life of Elisabeth of Bavaria. I didn’t mind the captions/subtitles one bit. I recorded both and watched them on Christmas Day. It felt like a Christmas gift to myself. I enjoyed both although they played out like Disney films.

Recently PBS Passport ran a scripted series based on Elisabeth’s life, also with captions/subtitles. This one was more adult and interesting.

And early in this Christmas season I watched another more recent European movie about Elisabeth. -- Whether in Hollywood or Europe, lots of creative licenses were taken and facts distorted.

I’ve often wondered if these famous people from history are watching from another dimension and thinking: This is so embarrassing if I wasn’t already dead, I’d die! -- Or perhaps they’d be flattered to still be remembered.

For some reason, historical figures have always seemed more real to me than Hollywood celebrities, with a few exceptions.

In many ways, Empress Elisabeth compares to Princess Diana. Both were taller than average and independent spirits who didn’t care for royal protocol. Both were vain and style conscious. Elisabeth in her youth was considered the most beautiful woman in Europe.

Also, both were noted for their kindness and generosity, treating everyone as equals. They were heavily into more than just token charity work. Both actively used their positions to create a better world.

When traveling with their regal husbands both women easily upstaged and outshone them! Later they become estranged from their husbands, and free to enjoy separate lives.

As with Princess Di, the Empress suffered the paparazzi, gossip, and unwanted publicity leading to her death. We already know the details of Diana’s demise.

In Elisabeth’s case, she happened to be visiting Geneva, Switzerland traveling incognito. This was leaked to a newspaper along with the name of her hotel. An anarchist hellbent on assassinating a sovereign got wind of this and stalked her.

The Empress was stabbed in the heart with a sharpened file, murdered at age 60.

You can have Liz Taylor and her movies, marriages, & affairs. To me, Elisabeth of Bavaria is a far more intriguing personality.

THE ENEMY WITHIN

 

I am left with a deep sense of sadness, depression, and anger toward my fellow Americans by the electrician results. Apparently, these fools have learned nothing from history, nor have they been paying attention.

The orange pig and first whore will again be occupying the White House!

January 6 should have been the end of Trump. This traitorous scum tried to overthrow our government! Plus, he is a convicted felon and a skilled con man.

Yes, there is an enemy within, and this person will be our next president! The man who admires dictators.

Trump had only a concept of a plan! He was out fundraised, out spent, and out volunteered. Something stinks here! And I mean besides this big orange blob of human excrement. Kamala was ahead in the polls. And this time around I didn’t see the waves of Trump flags in my neighborhood or elsewhere, nor did any of his supporters come knocking on my door as before.

Did Trump actually win? Or could he have cheated with the help of his fellow MAGATs along with Russia? Cheating and lying are as natural as breathing to Trump! -- This calls for further investigation!!!

I don’t foresee a Golden Age for America, but a coming Dark Age. All of those in Trump’s inner circle ooze slime same as him. Plus, only loyalty matters to Trump. He has no use for anyone more knowledgeable than he is, and this man is unhinged.

V.P. Vance is a loathsome opportunist just as the rest of those sycophants licking Traitor Trump’s ugly ass.

His crony, and other grown-up affluenza brat Elon Musk, has warned us to brace for coming hardships, but according to him, these will only be temporary. – I wouldn’t bet on that! Keeping the citizenry poor and ignorant is a proven way to control them. No wonder Trump says he loves stupid people, they gave him back the White House.

Biden and Harris have stated we should accept the election results. I say, why should we? – They didn’t!!! Both seem to be forgetting who we are dealing with here and what is at stake. – And I’m a registered Republican.

Don’t roll over and accept this! Speak out and become a sword in their side every step of the way!

Joe Biden was handed a gift! He should be cranking out Executive Orders from now until 1-20-25!

And remember, dictatorships can be overthrown, same as democracies.

CAT-SITTING LITTLE BITEY

 

First and foremost, I’m an animal lover. If I ran the world I’d give them the right to vote.

Animals all have individual personalities, proclivities, and levels of intelligence just as people. And I feel that if a person can afford it, they should own a cat and a dog, to give both a home.

This was my second cat-sitting job. The first, was back in the 1990’s during the Democratic convention when Bill Clinton was nominated. The cat, Tinky-Poo was an older one, who lived across the street. Her family paid me $100 to stay in their home while they were away to keep Tinky company.

I was given the choice of bedrooms, I chose the one with the waterbed since I’d never slept on one before and I wanted the experience. Often, I’d wake up to find Tinky in bed with me. I was told later she’d never jumped on that bed before.

When the couple returned, Tinky came to me and ignored them. I loved that cat; she was a sweetheart!

Fast-forward to 2024, now I was Molly’s cat-sitter. Earnest Hemingway famously stated that cats should be given names with a dominant S sound. But it seems I’m the only one who has ever taken this great man’s advice.

Molly is only ten months old and lives right next door. I was given full access to the house including their pool & movie channels; creature comforts I don’t have and can’t afford. Now for a week they were mine to enjoy!

Besides feeding and cleaning the litter box, interaction is an important part of the job, along with keeping the cat happy.

Molly was feisty and a biter!  Every time I’d pet her, she’d grab my arm and start biting it along with my hand! I ended up with bloody punctures in both. In fact, my neighbor showed me the medicine cabinet where I could find iodine & bandages in the event Molly got carried away.

My nickname for Molly was The Brat Cat!

I recall in the past our neighbor Trudi went to the Emergency Room when my Tasha drew blood on her. However, this was the neighbor’s fault! Apparently, she didn’t know that you never touch a cat’s belly, it’s a forbidden zone!

And I myself was injured worse by a neighbor’s cat a few years before that. I was walking home late one afternoon from my job in town when a white & orange cat emerged from a house. Meowing, it ran out to the street to greet me, rubbing up against my legs. I stooped and began petting it. The cat was purring.

Suddenly without warning, it bit me hard in the ankle! I screamed and then it clawed me in the calve! I walked the rest of the way home with a bloody ankle & calve.

Reaching home, I cleaned the wound and treated it with mercurochrome. – No Emergency Room necessary! The hospital was just a block away too! My wound healed just fine without a doctor.

The next day, that same creature came running out to greet me. This time, I hollered, “You stay away from me!” and quickened my pace.

During my recent cat-sitting job I was on medication for a swollen foot & ankle. My left heel felt as if hot, broken glass was under the skin. As I napped in their recliner this foot was hanging over, suddenly I was awakened by sharp teeth sinking into that heel!

I told Molly “How would you like it if I bit you? My mouth is bigger and I could take that ear off with one bite!” She looked at me as if to say, Who do you think you are, telling ME what to do!

However, Molly had her affectionate side, or perhaps she was using me as furniture, but sometimes she’d sleep atop me in the recliner. Also, she’d sit on my lap and we’d watch movies together.

Usually, she was within sight. When she wasn’t, I worried and went looking for her. All of a sudden she’d spring out of nowhere and grab the back of my leg and biting it!

She reminded me of a teething puppy. Molly also drank out of the toilet just like a dog, only she’d balance on the seat to do it. -- And she had fresh bowls of water stationed in almost every room!

When I arrived, or left, she was always right by the door. Since Molly is an indoor cat, I fretted about her getting out. – I had a dog that if the door was open a crack would seize this opportunity! And once out was hard to catch!

But I have pleasant memories from this job.

Although I must admit after my expensive ordeal with skin cancer, a pool held less appeal for me. However, I got around this issue. I’m an early riser, so at 5:00 AM, before breakfast, I sometimes took a swim. Since the pool area was landscaped for privacy (and beautifully so) there was no need for a swimsuit.

It was still dark at that hour, and I enjoyed swimming & floating on my back gazing up at the stars. It’s a wonderful memory I will always treasure.

What was supposed to be my last day came news that a major hurricane was on track to hit us. Because of this, the owner’s flight was cancelled, they experienced an ordeal returning!

The next day this would have been impossible until after the hurricane; meaning bitey & me would have been weathering the storm together. Thankfully this wasn’t the case.

ASHES TO DUST

 

You know you’re old when you start receiving invitations to cremation/funeral luncheons. The lunches are free, but you must sit thru a long sales pitch first.

I attended one around Halloween of last year along with my friend Sue. I wore what could have passed for a witch’s costume had I included my big black hat with the feathers. But I left that at home.

The following summer there was another one at the same place -- but for first time attendees only! And restaurants have become so expensive eating out is a rarity now.

I signed Sue & me up and crossed my fingers. I told Sue if they turned us away, we’d just drive to the Asian buffet up the street. I asked Sue if she remembered what she wore and to dramatically change her look.

This would be easy for me! I have wigs in a variety of colors, although it was summer and this is Florida. So instead of a wig I had my then tit-length hair cut really short. Also I wore bright colors this time.

Fortunately, we had a different speaker which was a big relief!

The previous speaker kept mentioning he was a retired male model. I thought he was joking! But he was serious. He sure didn't look like model material to me!

Both times we sat thru a 90 minute speech before lunch was served. Thank goodness there was no question & answer session as with the Neptune Society years before or it would have been 2 hours before any food.

The speeches consisted of much tugging at the heart strings. Stressing that this matter needed to be taken care of immediately or your grieving loved ones would be soaked by some cagey undertaker. Plus, we had to purchase this service right now since the price would be going up tomorrow! – That’s always a big red flag to me!

The cost was already in the thousands! And if you have a pacemaker or any other metal object it must be removed (at cost to you) because those cause the cremation ovens to explode. And there's another exorbitant cost for disposal of medical waste.

Later I mentioned this to a friend who is knowledgeable about cremations. She said the guy was full of it and laughed at the exploding ovens since corpses aren't microwaved! Any metal objects are removed from the ashes and discarded without issue. Also you can have a cremation done today for $350.

At the luncheon last summer, we were told that by purchasing the premium package they would not only remove the body but also launder your sheets, make the bed and place a rose on the pillow.

I will probably be a rotting corpse fused to my recliner. The only time my neighbors know I'm alive is when HOA fees are collected and those have tripled since the pandemic.

My father was cremated for $100 the same amount as my 18 year old dog a year later. The company that cremated my dog sent me a sympathy card. The one that cremated my dad did not. However I realize these were 2001 and 2002 prices.

I plan to have my ashes sent to my longtime friend Rose. She can make them into a piece of jewelry or turn me into a paperweight, whatever. Or she can scatter them in Timbuktu or Uganda as long as it's someplace I've never been, since I enjoy traveling to new places.

I've already made it clear to my financial adviser that when my time comes, I want it done as quickly and inexpensively as possible. I don't need a monument to myself in some cemetery.

I just hope that when I go, I'll have someone lined-up to remove me from Facebook. I don't want to be resurrected by a hacker as was a close friend of mine.