REMEMBERING

 

Florida does get chilly, it's rare but it does happen. And you feel it more intensely if you're a native. We're unused to cold.

This is one of those winters. Evenings I'm attired in my heavy robe & nightgown, along with warm snuggy boots, plus a big wool turban on my head. To top it off I'm bundled up in a blanket with the TV remote underneath. -- But I prefer this to the hellish heat and humidity that will be arriving all too soon.

I vividly recall the autumn before the lockdown that came the following March. It's memorable because my friend Irene and I went to lunch together. At that time, we couldn't have envisioned what was just ahead. We believed the pandemic would be over soon. And the very thought of any shortage of tissue, or other paper products along with numerous items was unimaginable! After all the United Sates is not a third world country.

The day before, I saw one person wearing a mask at the supermarket, a rarity at the time. The idea of everyone masking up and social distancing would have seemed bizarre back then.

Irene and I were out to enjoy ourselves despite the weather. Florida was experiencing a rare, early, cold spell that day.

A Greek café was chosen because we both love spanakopita. The place was small with no heat. And inexplicably the overhead fans were on. We were seated under one and moved. In fact we changed our seat several times, but were still cold. And whenever the door opened it felt as if an Arctic blast of air shot thru the room. We ordered coffee to warm us up, however the coffee was cold. We shivered all throughout the meal.

Irene's company was the only pleasant thing about that lunch. She was well into her nineties but possessed a sharp mind and wit worthy of Betty White.

Unfortunately her health continued to decline.

However Irene was blessed to find a dedicated caregiver who became like a son to her. When the lockdown came, he took her and her beloved cat, Millie to his home up in Sebastian to give her the special care she needed.

We kept in touch thru email.

A year ago this month my friend Irene passed away right before Valentine's Day. I sent her a card with a kitten on the cover that she never lived to see.

I mask-up regularly now whenever I'm out. But often I don't leave my house for two weeks. When the pandemic finally ends I fear many of the changes it wrought will remain.

This chilly morning for breakfast I had leftover spanakopita from Publix along with grapes & pitted dates. I thought of Irene.

Someday, on the other side of the veil I hope to see her again along with my other close and treasured friends Pat and Margaret who preceded her in death. I miss them all.

SUPERANNUATED

Superannuated, the first time I came across this word was during my 20s while reading a steamy novel set in the old south. I had to look it up. According to my 1947 issue dictionary it means; obsolete & outdated. This describes everything I own today including myself!

However the internet is no longer a luxury but a necessity! Imagine being without it for three & a half days along with phone & TV as I was not long ago.

I have a landline only, no cell for several reasons. ONE: I'm retired, home most of the time and the supermarket is right around the corner. TWO: I just don't like them! They're dinky and have no mouthpiece or place to rest my ear. They suck!

Also I still have cable, U-verse in fact. I'm happy with it -- when everything is working properly, that is! I was informed by a tech that it's no longer offered new because they're trying to phase it out. But if you currently have it, they won't take it away. In other words, it's an old folk's product and they're waiting for us to die off.

Unfortunately for them, we're not doing it fast enough! As much as they would like, they can't round us up and kill us. So I think they're trying to give us strokes and heart attacks thru sheer aggravation.

During the repair to my outage I mentioned to all three ATT techs that I was having problems with my DVR. It kept freezing and jumping ahead, also the sound would cut out at times. They listened, but offered no advice. So I assumed that after they unconstipated my TV the issue would be solved! --WRONG!!!

The DVR worked fine for a week and then started freezing and jumping ahead like crazy again! I enjoy Comics Unleashed but was missing half the punch lines and 45 minutes into a Lifetime movie I had to give up and delete because I couldn't follow the story!

The next morning I called ATT. After a long wait I got someone with a heavy accent. While I was explaining the problem I suddenly found myself disconnected. I kept shouting, hello, hello, but no answer!

I called back. After another lengthy wait I got a woman with only a slight accent. Again, while I was explaining the exact thing happened! I literally screamed into the phone in desperation with only dead air on the other end.

I called back yet again! Another long wait ensued. Finally I got a woman in billing who assured that she would connect me with a tech who would stay on the line. Yet another person with an accent, but this one actually listened. He explained that he was going to run some tests, we'd lose our connection, but he'd call me right back.

He never did!!!

I got on the internet attempting to contact someone that way. However I kept going round & round with an ATT robot informing me they did a trouble shoot and my TV was fine. I kept repeating that the problem was with my DVR and NOT the TV!

In 2009 when I got U-verse I was given a faulty DVR. They came out and replaced it. Now they don't even want to hear about it!

Frustrated, I told a friend about this. She said to reboot the DVR which I'd done before. It got rid of the problem temporarily, but I couldn't rewind or pause for long periods or it would return. And the freezing, jumping and sound loss always came back eventually!

However there was a bright spot! After my modem was replaced I stopped losing my internet connection which had been an ongoing problem. Not long ago I was issued a new modem after complaining about this to ATT.

The tech they sent out (costing me $100) told me I didn't need it. He claimed the problem was with my outdated computer. I asked him to take the modem back with him. He stated that I was required to send it back via UPS.

I drove over there and stood in a long socially distanced line that stretched out the door. -- Had the tech just installed the damn thing in the first place I would never have experienced that lengthy outage!

I've had this DVR for over a decade without any issues until recently! I've been told electronics have a short life.

Yes, I know that streaming is the in thing now. But my older TV (which works fine) cannot be converted. Also it may as well be space alien technology to me. I can't afford to pay a tech person to come out here every time I have a problem. And worse, everything seems to go out of date almost as fast as it's installed!

Just recently my bill jumped $12. After complaining I was informed that it was the yearly ATT increase. Hot cat pee! A yearly increase should be only a couple dollars! This is pure corporate greed and gouging at the worst possible time! This practice has gotten worse since ATT merged with Time Warner.

And I must say customer service has declined dramatically during my 71 years alive. Every time I think it has struck rock bottom it always manages to hit a newer low.

PRICEY PANDEMIC

 

Whenever I read about all those people who saved money big time during the lock-down I shake my head, I've always felt that I live in a different reality and now I'm sure of it!

And suddenly there's crazy high inflation! I probably should have thought again about purchasing that expensive cake online for my birthday, but I doubt I'll be doing that again.

My friend Sue has been after me to go on a cruise with her for several years now. Unfortunately due to the expense of so many out-of-the-blue medical, dental, & vision issues I've been constantly forced to put this off. Well now I've had to inform her that I probably won't be going on any more vacations during this lifetime.

My health issues accelerated after I returned from Thailand in 2016.What is worrisome is I know that at my age it's only the beginning.

"Forget about the cruise," My other friend Marie told me. "Consider yourself fortunate you were able to visit as many wonderful and exotic places in your lifetime that you did! For example, how many people get to see Thailand!" --

-- I read that more people have visited Thailand than anyplace else on the planet, so I would say quite a few! And I was thrilled to be one of them.

However Thailand was more than just a vacation! It was an exploratory trip to a country I was considering expatriating due to the low cost of living and affordable health care there. Ditto for Ecuador in 2015.The only 100 per cent vacation recently was when Rose & I flew to the Galapagos Islands from mainland Ecuador!

However both Thailand and Ecuador proved too Third World for my taste as far as a permanent home. I also considered Mexico. I loved visiting there during the 1970's, unfortunately it's no longer as safe.

And I considered Portugal. I was there in 1977. I did not find it Third World. So I began doing research only to discover as many cons as pros to moving there.

But after the pandemic hit, I was grateful that I didn't expatriate to any of those places!

I must accept that all of these health issues come as part of the territory when getting older and deal with them as best I can here.

THE $$ CAKE

 

Life is divided into cubes, chunks & slices, mine are labeled. There's the A.D. (After Dad) period, and the B.C. (Before Candlelight, our florist shop) period. Also there's the Glorious Years (my early childhood), the Hell Years which is how I remember my teens, The Agony & Exploration years (I worked at a job I hated, but also was fortunate enough to travel the world), The Great Depression following directly afterward lasting 2 decades where the highlight of my life was grocery shopping, The New Hell Years (when my father remarried), My Roaring & Exciting Red Haired Years, and now My Gray Haired Years.

Up until the 21st century was what I refer to as The Year of the Nine Finale Pattern, because every year ending in a 9 heralded a major change; either a move to a different house, a graduation, a new job, or even the end of an old one.

Now in my Gray Haired period I feel myself teetering on the verge of another Great Depression, one which I hope will not end with my death. To die happy has always been my goal!

Online during the holidays I kept seeing this marvelous, but obscenely expensive Irish Cream Espresso cake. I've had Irish coffee and frankly, I didn't like it. However I've eaten the cake version with just a hint of Irish cream flavor without the nasty alcohol taste. And it was a heavenly new level of deliciousness!

I began lusting after that cake. Every day my willpower was weakening a little more.

My 71st birthday was coming up and mother died at age 72. If death was around the corner I wanted to die having tasted that cake! Next year I might not be able to afford such an indulgence, but this year by golly I was going to have it!

The cake was $50 but I got $20 off because I was a new customer. Then, there was the $35 shipping fee. I was starting to rethink this, but decided to proceed.

It arrived in dry ice. I had to Google how to dispose of that safely. I needed gloves and tongs along with protective clothing because it burned flesh. It felt as if I was handling nuclear waste. Google suggested leaving it outside to evaporate in a sturdy container away from animals.

My neighborhood is full of cats & dogs as well as curious squirrels. So I decided to place it out in my screened-in back porch. If a few chameleons went belly-up I'd just consider it collateral damage.

After unpacking it I immediately placed it in the freezer where it will last up to six months. This way I can enjoy it longer.

The cake tasted like one you'd buy in a fancy pastry shop rather than a supermarket. It was good, but any flavor of Irish Cream or Espresso was almost nonexistent; more like the baker took a swig and breathed on it.

But it felt special and this was a birthday I really needed it!

OKAY, NOT OKAY, I'M BACK

 

And wallowing in my misery, no apologizes! This is my blog and if I want to wallow I will! And if you have a problem with it, stop reading right here!

In just a couple days I've another birthday, my first on the wrong side of 70.

A year ago I loved my face and was proud if it! My skin still firm, I look decades younger. However now whenever I gaze in the mirror all I see is that ugly wound staring back at me like a rattlesnake!

Friends tell me not to worry because it's going to heal. Well of course it's going to heal! -- That's NOT the issue! I'm going to be stuck with one hell of a scar in a prominent spot!

Yes, there's the option of a skin graft which really isn't an option at all. I have more pressing expenses.

I'm waiting to see how it looks when it heals. If there is any way I can live with this scar I will. I need my money more than the plastic surgeon does!

Constantly I'm seeing photos of celebrities my age with comments underneath praising how good they look for their advanced years. But I can't help but wonder how many face lifts or Botox they've endured.

I've always been too poor for any of that stuff, yet I thought I looked every bit as attractive and youthful as they did -- sometimes even better! Plus I did it through clean living and good choices NOT thru plastic surgeons.

I've been meticulously careful and I do not deserve this! OK, so I wasn't as mindful of the sun during my childhood and teens, but why did this take 50 years to manifest itself?

A close friend told me that she had a skin cancer removed from a place never exposed to the sun. Why couldn't mine have been there instead, or on a hand or leg, why my face?!

A year or so before the pandemic, I was in a store and the cashier exclaimed: "You are so pretty! You must have been beautiful when you were young!" I grimaced back at her. -- No one wants to be reminded they're less than what they were. But I still looked good!

As to celebrities, there are plenty who just let themselves go and retire from public life preferring to be remembered as they were. I would never want to be remembered as I was while I'm still around!

Thankfully people are still masking up.

Also I must keep my wound moist and bandaged. Bandaging is a hassle! Due to the goofy location (an area that is constantly stretched) Band-Aid strips do not work. I was forced to use large pads that looked as if half my face was blown off with a shotgun blast.

Now that my wound has stopped bleeding and oozing I cut those pads into quarters snipping the tops & sides. I'm able to position them for a better fit.

I know many people think I place too much emphasis on my looks. These days when it comes to appearance the lack of discipline is applauded. If you care about this at all you're almost demonized.

We're bombarded with propaganda about how looks aren't important! Well, I've had a level of jealousy hurled at me that would floor a Dreadnoughtus! So I kind'a think the opposite! As my friend Pat used to say, "When anyone puts you down, stop to consider the source."

I do and wear it as a badge of pride! I've enjoyed my looks! It was a gift and one I've always felt worth preserving!

TIME OUT

 

I am taking a winter break from blogging. Normally I love the holidays and look forward to them, but not this time around.

2021 has been a terrible year. I've been fighting off a depression the like of which I haven't experienced in decades. And I'm sure no one wants to read about it.

But I'm determined to at least enjoy Christmas, and maybe New Year's, also my 71st birthday which falls shortly afterward. -- Despite the fact I'm just NOT feeling it.

So I plan to throw myself into the many things I enjoy! Plus I'm going to be spending some significant time on my (in progress) new novel. Doing this, detracts me from those awful things that have attached themselves to my life right now; blogging (although great therapy) only makes me wallow in them.

LIFE AMONG THE FLINTSTONES

 

That's exactly how it felt! The only things missing were Fred & Wilma. For three and a half days I was part of the modern Stone Age family without a phone, TV, or internet!

And worse I had surgery coming up and no way to contact the doctor's office or vise versa should an emergency arise. But thanks to my friend Marie dropping over the day before and lending me her cellphone I was able to learn (in time) that my surgery had been rescheduled!

I was grateful that at least I still had electricity! Power outages are far more common than they should be where I live. So there was a bright side. I could work offline on my latest novel without telemarketers constantly interrupting me. -- No I never answer, but I have to get up and listen to my answering machine in case it's someone I actually want to speak to, or an emergency.

Due to posterior vitreous detachment following cataract surgery I have eye floaters of all varieties: big black ones, small brown ones, and gel ones too, along with light flashes. Working on the computer AFTER DARK has become too much of a strain as is reading.

Thankfully I'd been gifted with a DVD player by my friend Rose when my beloved Starz-Showtime package became too pricey for me. For several years now I've been collecting DVDs for emergencies such as this one.

Since I could count on being without for at least three days I chose the multi-pack selection of horror movies I'd purchased from a church rummage sale. Four movies were on each of the three disks. I'd already seen half of these 1970's flicks and the six remaining were cheesy and lame. I felt my brain rotting. One was so bad that I fast-forwarded thru the entire second half.

I was thrilled when the ATT truck arrived early on the fourth day! -- I had no idea it was fated to be a stressful and long one.

To make a long story short, the tech replaced my ancient modem and got my phone and computer working. However my two TVs kept freezing. The man couldn't understand why and called another tech over. The two tried all types of maneuvers, but to no avail. They gave up and left, but assured me another tech would be arriving.

An hour later, another arrived and was equally mystified!  He made numerous calls to ATT. Eventually he told me not to worry because he had the "Big Dogs" on the line and this problem was going to be solved. The problem was on their end!!! Around 4:00 PM this was fixed. --At LONG last!!!

Once again I had a toe in the 21st century.