BEASTLY WOMAN VS BEASTS OF BURDEN

Back in the 1970's Women's Lib was vocal about how women could have it all; marriage, career, and family.

Well I never wanted ANY of that! I wasn’t buying what they were selling. It sounded like a combination of propaganda, brain-washing, and acid eye wash to me. And it still does!

I’ve never held a job that didn’t feel like slavery. And I’ve always felt that a husband and family were life’s booby prize. Just one of those alone was bad enough, but combined, it seemed an unfathomable life of misery. SURELY THERE HAD TO BE ANOTHER CHOICE!

Back when I worked full time, I was constantly exhausted. I woke up tired and went to bed tired. I was tired of being tired. The work didn’t enrich my life, it emptied it. And I didn't have a family and house to maintain on top of that. To my mind, that’s a donkey's life! Sorry, no thanks! It boggles my mind that women buy into this without resistance.

Employed or not, women usually get stuck doing the bulk of household chores. I’ve found that maintaining a house in itself is almost a full time job even without a family.

1970’s glamour gal Farrah Fawcett had it written into her CHARLIE’S ANGEL contract that she had to be home in time to cook dinner for her (then) husband Lee Majors. -- With all the money this woman was raking in, I don’t understand why she even had to see her kitchen! I think maybe Lee should have prepared his own meals or at least ordered take-out! I’m not surprised this marriage ended in divorce.

I’m a lifelong single woman. But if I had a husband tell me to go out and get a job, I’d tell him OK, but first I want a live-in maid and cook, otherwise no deal. I’m already employed cleaning the house, ironing your shirts, washing your stinky underwear, running errands and cooking your damn meals. And I want a raise; you go find a better job! – We’d probably end up divorced.

I knew of husbands back in the 50’s and 60’s that turned their entire paychecks over to their wives. Admittedly not so in our family, but my mother was a stay-at-home wife who frequently hired maids. Had you told her she was unfulfilled because she didn’t have an outside career, she probably would have laughed in your face!

Of course if a woman wants a career and a man would prefer to be a full-time housekeeper that arrangement can work, provided the guy has the stamina and could do a good job.

However, if I had a family, plus a job, you would be hearing about me in the news. I’d be like that Andrea Yates who snapped and murdered her 5 children because she just couldn’t take it anymore. The only difference between her and me is that I’d have snuffed out that husband as well. Remember Andrea was a stay-at-home mom, too! How can anyone believe that being a housewife is a free ride!!!

I’ll admit that Women’s Lib has done a lot of good for women. A man and woman working the same job should receive equal pay, UNLESS one is a better worker. Also a woman (or man) should never be forced into tolerating any form of abuse, whether it be mental or physical.

But Women’s Lib has done equally as much damage. Personally, I don’t want to be reduced to being a beast of burden, nor a lumpy man. It was Women’s Lib that knocked women off their pedestal. Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard the argument that it’s as limiting as any small place. -- Bullcrap! I notice that women who talk like that don’t deserve to be up there in the first place! Way too many people confuse liberty with license; as a result society continues to unravel.

I recall back when women entered the workforce in droves. Inflation skyrocketed! It was at this time it became nearly impossible to get by on just one income. Women were forced out of the home whether they wanted to be or not. Friends confessed they preferred to be stay-at-home moms, but were unable for financial reasons.

However, others could not wait to get out! Many complained they got bored waiting for the dryer to go off. -- Good grief, I can find 20 things to occupy my time! However I was bored out of my skull typing up bills, answering phones and filling out paperwork. Even the thought of going to the office depressed me. Ugh, don’t get me started on all that co-worker drama! I’ve always found others draining.

It’s not a one size fits all world! I’m sick of Women’s Libbers and others dictating to me what I should want and how I should think. I don’t have a head for business or figures. I admire women who do, but I don’t, so naturally it’s not the way I care to spend my short span of time on this planet.

I believe in reincarnation, but what if I’m wrong, what if this is all there is?

I love the solitary life. Writing is the only type of work I actually enjoy. It gives me a sense of fulfillment and is the kind of job I can live with; unfortunately the fruits of my labors are peanuts. So it’s more of a passion than career. I would like to get into something else at least on a part-time basis for income. I’m exploring other avenues.

Of course many women will tell you they MUST have both a career and family. If that works for them, wonderful!!! It’s just not MY cup of cappuccino. I would be unable to breathe. Call me lazy, selfish, or call me a horse's ass, or anything you will. But to me, that kind of life is the modern equivalent of a corset.

NOW I'M OUT, SO LOOK OUT

My closet spilleth over. Yes, I am a clothes-horse, but that's not all. Every time I ventured out, I needed a costume. And not the kind you wear on the outside. But I’m tired of pretending and too old to care what anyone else thinks.

My father joked that when I was born, my Birth Certificate should have read IT for gender. I’ve lived my entire life outside my comfort zone. Never have I found it necessary to go out and look for challenges. I’ve always found life to be plenty challenging just the way it is!

I am ASEXUAL. -- Being gay would have been easier, or at least more readily understood. There is more of an element of freakdom in my case. Most people can't imagine an asexual, in their minds we don't exist. But we are out there and we are legion. We just don't broadcast it. In a sex obsessed society it's almost social suicide.

I can almost bet with certainty that you will never see a LIFETIME or LMN movie about an asexual; too many people would not find it interesting.

I joined A.V.E.N. (Asexual Visibility & Education Network) last October. I knew these were MY people when members offered pictures of cake as a welcome! (I fantasize about eating cake the way others fantasize about sex.) I felt an instant connection.

In only one way was it a disappointment. I wish it had been around sooner. The majority of members are far younger. This organization is a blessing for them. They have a support system and will not spend the bulk of their lives in confusion, as I did.

Elder members are fewer and none were local. People on the other end of a computer feel like phantoms to me. (I need eye contact!) I am not a message board person. I would like to have asexual friends with whom I can socialize in person. I enjoy my friends, but I don’t have many for obvious reasons.

I recall my school days, especially the later ones, as the years Hell reigned on earth and I prayed for the still, silent oblivion of the grave. The kids didn’t like me because I wasn’t like them. At home, my parents rejected me for the exact reason. I could never be what my parents wanted, nor was I free to be myself. So I was nothing.

This, I believe was the cause of multiple mental disorders I suffered for most of my life! Asexuality didn’t exist, except in the realm of science fiction. Being one was tantamount to being a mutant from planet X!

I knew I wasn’t heterosexual. For decades, I thought I might be a lesbian. I just wasn’t a practicing one! --This is common for many asexuals, especially those of my generation. I even bought a ticket to BASIC INSTINCT just to glimpse Sharon Stone’s privates. – What a disappointment! She looks a lot better with clothes on! Her flesh did nothing for me.

I have always admired feminine beauty. My Facebook page often features pictures of nude or near nude women just because I consider them beautiful works of art.

Those boys the girls thought were sooo dreamy in High School I found gross and goony. I had zero desire to date. I was well into middle age when I went on my first one. Most of my dates have been a disappointing waste of time. Men in general leave me cold.

When I was younger, I used to joke that I must be under a witches curse, because I only attracted guys who repulsed me. Sure, I had crushes on movie stars, but I only liked them because they were unavailable.

Many have asked me why I color my hair, wear make-up, and dress provocatively if not to attract men. Do they really need to ask? Duh! -- Being attractive is a powerful asset! I’m not about to sabotage myself!

I’ve learned there are asexual couples in love, they just don’t engage in sex. In other words, it’s the highest and purest form of love, a selfless one without carnal desire, and a love of which most are incapable.

Constantly, I'm being told that I should not have given up on love and romance. Well I didn't give up! I was never interested in the first place! Whenever someone asks, "Do you have anyone special in your life?" I always reply, "Who is more special than me!" You can imagine the reaction. But it stops them cold and the subject is dropped.

Don’t expect me to write a book about asexuality! Because I know it won’t fly off the shelves like 50 SHADES OF CRAP or whatever that piece of garbage is called. Besides, there is nothing I can tell you that you just can’t Google and learn in 10 minutes.

I am grateful A.V.E.N. exists. It is a light illuminating all those dark, confusing times in my life.

A male friend asked if I felt short-changed. The answer is no, I am blessed! I still feel like a freak, but in a positive way. Asexuality is a gift. I am not a slave to my hormones, nor yours either. I’m out of my closet and I’m dressed to the nines. So take a good look and eat your heart out!

I WANT TO BE YOUR WIDOW

Back when I was little, a frequent question to parents was, "What do you want him/ her to be when they grow up?" -- Nowadays, you seldom hear it.

"Either a teacher or a nurse," was the answer my folks always gave.

Well, nobody ever asked me! Actually, that's probably a good thing. Because I wanted to be a widow. All the cool people on the TV sitcoms were widows or widowers. It was glamorous! Divorce still carried a stigma in those days. Also as I’ve learned firsthand, a widow is revered in our society, a spinster is not. 

Widowhood is the ideal existence! You get to keep all your spouse's money and possessions without one around to bother you or cramp your style. Who could complain!

But then, I can stand only so much of other people. Had I been a nurse, I'd probably poison all my patients just to end their annoying whining. As for school teacher, it wouldn't be a student bringing a gun to class and shooting the kids! I know I’d snap eventually. I understand too well how someone can go postal.

A former therapist told me I shouldn’t say things like that, not even in jest, because I have a history other people don’t. But this is my blog and I refuse to censor myself.

Men have a tendency to be suffocating. Plus I'm sick of dates accusing me of being a lesbian and calling me frigid. -- My definition of frigid is super cool! Besides, I don't live my life to please men or anyone else. Others have always been a poor judge of my needs.

Of course I’d want to be a WEALTHY widow! I’d spend my life traveling, writing, and taking self-improvement classes like art.

A woman, with whom I once worked, said God did not intend for anyone to be alone.

Because there are far more women on this planet than men, I'm inclined to think he did! -- Unless God favors polygamy! Hey, most of the old geezers in the Bible had multiple wives. So maybe the Mormons got it right!

In the later part of my life, I have received 2 serious marriage proposals. Both men were financially comfortable, also healthy. -- I did not want to become a self-made widow! I saw the writing on the wall and it was written in blood.

Never, would I become involved with a significantly younger man. They are just too likely to outlive me. I simply cannot have that! Should I ever marry, my husband MUST die first! That would be in the pre-nup, I'd insist!

More than one person has told me that I should be out looking for a husband just for the sake of my economic survival.

A friend urged me to sign up for PRECISION DATING. I don't really qualify since they want only UPSCALE singles. If I was any more downscale, I'd be living in a tent in the woods, or in my 1997 station wagon. The 30 year old guy who tends my lawn owns a newer and more expensive car.

Should I in my old age, end up living in a car or a tent; it will be one hundred percent MY car or tent.  I am finally dancing to my own beat. The folks are gone. I did the bullets-under-the-feet jig far too long.

Never, have I believed in that soul mate crap! I'm a whole me, not a half of someone else!