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Wednesday, October 23, 2013

THE LAST REAL HALLOWEEN

The only holiday equally special and exciting as Christmas was Halloween! It was a big, honking deal to me and all of my friends.

I began trick-or-treating at age 4. I remember it vividly to this day! On Halloween night a big jamboree was to be held on the school football field. I would go trick-or-treating afterward, escorted by my grandfather. I was overflowing with excitement. I couldn't wait to see the costume selected for me.

What a disappointment!!! It was a little Bride's outfit, not a REAL costume! -- A DEAD Bride, now that would have been a costume I'd have worn with pride. To my surprise, I saw 3 other pre-school girls at the Halloween jamboree wearing the same lame outfit. Fortunately, I had outgrown it by the following year.

After that, I was a perpetual Gypsy. It was the easiest costume to create at home. Around age 10, I acquired a wig with long black curls for under my bandanna. At age 11, I really tarted things up with more make-up and jewelry. Classmates didn't recognize me when we passed on the sidewalks.

"This is your final year as a trick-or-treater," my mother declared. "Halloween is a little kid's holiday." I had been wearing a bra for a year, she reminded. "Next fall you'll be in Junior High, you'll just embarrass yourself!"

I was saddened. It would end an activity I loved! I knew I'd miss it, big time.

My first year in Junior High was spent down in West Palm Beach . My mother and I rented an apartment there so I could attend the "special" school. On weekends we came home to Stuart.

Around the corner, lived 2 girls my age. They attended regular Junior High. Come Halloween, they invited me to go trick-or-treating with them. My mother relented, since I would not be there the following year. Woohoo!!! I was getting an extra year!

My trick-or-treating began in a store-bought costume, it would end in one. This was to be a costume of my choosing. I was determined to go out with flair and flourish!

The movie CLEOPATRA started filming when I was in the 5th grade. I was now in the 7th and it was finally being released. Publicity for this film, plus the scandalous antics of Liz & Dick dominated the airwaves and print media, still.

Instantly, I was drawn to the Cleopatra costume. The deep royal purple with gold braiding and sequins was both showy and beautiful. Plus the material had a sheen. It fit tight, clingy in all the right places. -- I looked as if I'd hit puberty 2 years before I actually did. Quite a sophisticated costume for a 12 year old. Also it came with a with a golden falcon head-dress along with a mask that appeared to be molded from Liz Taylor's own face.

One of my friends was outfitted as a Ghost. The other was a Parisian Streetwalker. She called it a French Lady outfit! However it consisted of a tight split skirt, fish net stockings, beret, and long cancer stick holder with a candy cigarette at the end. Trust me, it was a streetwalker outfit! -- But she looked really good!

Despite the hooker costume, it was my gaudy outfit that got all the attention. As soon as doors opened, exclamations of, "Look! It's Liz Taylor!" were heard repeatedly!

Frenchy and I laughed and joked about it. But the Ghost was jealous. It was obvious that she was sorry I had been invited along.

To my delight, I encountered no one else wearing a similar outfit. My last REAL Halloween I wore the best costume of all!

Nowadays, Halloween is a lot less fun on this side of the candy. I still dress up in a costume just to get into the spirit of things. One year I attired myself as Marilyn Monroe, another a pirate, last Halloween I went Victorian. But to be honest, it feels like more of a bother. Guess I've just turned into a sour apple Scrooge. Or perhaps I miss the excitement of going door-to-door.

Halloween may have been a little kids holiday once, but not anymore. Half of those who come to my door tower over me! Many look like High Schoolers. Some of the costumes cover so much, for all I know, there could be someone 40 years old or older under there! -- Hmmm, that gives me an idea!

Thursday, October 17, 2013

OH NO, A UFO!

Twice in my life I have witnessed a UFO.

The 1st, was at my former home in Stuart. The time was just after 11:00 PM. I was leaving the main house and walking thru the carport. I was headed over to my apartment and to bed. As I looked across the river, I noticed a string of amber lights in the sky. They were attached to something that was football fields long, judging from the buildings below. It stood stationary in the sky. (It was never there before or ever again!) I thought surely there would be some mention of this in the newspaper the next morning. There wasn't!

The 2nd, was in THIS house and not long ago! I watched it thru my high picture window. (I have a 30 ft. cathedral ceiling.) It was an enormous bright light with 6 smaller lights dancing behind it like butterflies. At first, I thought it was a comet!

I've seen comets a number of times during the past 15 years. What disturbs me is that all of them were traveling east. I wonder if they are pieces of something much greater headed our way!

As I watched the bright light with the dancing tail I waited for it to dim and burn out. It didn't! I watched until it was out of sight. It too was traveling east! However it was NO comet! I searched the newspaper and Internet the next day. Nothing!

Now I'm not saying these were transporting little green aliens with glowing eyes, antennae, and pincers. I don't know what they were!!! They could have been from NASA, or they could have originated from China or Russia. Or they could even be experimental government aircraft straight from Area 51! Who knows?

This has been a topic of fascination and study for me. So much has been hidden from the public. There have been plenty of startling deathbed revelations concerning the Roswell incident.

With the infinite number of galaxies in our universe it's far-fetched to believe we are alone.

Stephen Hawking has said we should not attract the attention of extraterrestrials because they may be out to exploit us. -- Perhaps they may even find us tasty! I admire Stephen Hawking. (We have the same birthday.) And I agree with him! But I also believe extraterrestrials are already aware of our existence. In fact they have been arriving and making contact for eons.

They are the missing link. Just take a Barbie doll, rip out all the hair, then black out the eyes. You will see the likeness of a Roswell alien. Yes, we were created. Our species was created by space aliens!!! This does not mean our souls are any less immortal than theirs. We all stem from the same cosmic consciousness.

Many of our religious beliefs were derived from extraterrestrials. Their superior technology is advanced to the point of seeming magical, even god-like! Some came to set us on the right path. Others had a more selfish agenda. -- If they would manipulate our DNA, they would certainly do it with our minds!

I am not stating this as fact. It just makes sense to me based on the info I have, unlike the religious folk who claim to know all the answers. Never mind their explanations have holes so big you could fly the Starship Enterprise straight thru them.

Those who have been abducted and subjected to alien experiments have kept quiet until recently out of fear of being mocked or labeled insane. For the most part, these are normal rational individuals. The physical evidence cannot be ignored!

It appears the aliens are busy creating extraterrestrial-human hybrids. For what purpose, I wonder??? I can only surmise. Perhaps as a replacement after we are all destroyed? More likely, we will destroy ourselves. Our weaponry like the rest of our technology is evolving, we are not! And worse, we are fouling our own living space. Humans, truly are the cancer of this planet. Perhaps the earth will prevail and destroy us first!

Geez, I hope I am never abducted by aliens. I certainly would not want to be impregnated with one of their ugly ant-faced babies! Fortunately, my eggs dried up last century. However, with their superior technology it might not be a problem.

I realize this is making light of a serious subject. But at least I would try to get something in return, such as total rejuvenation to the age of 20 or 25. But I wouldn't stop there! I'd make them super-charge my brain so I could just touch a computer screen to absorb all the knowledge. Also I'd want the power of telekinesis and remote viewing. You could call me A.A.E.W. (ALIEN ALTERED and ENHANCED WOMAN).

It would be worth a try! -- Hey, I can at least fantasize!

Thursday, October 10, 2013

WILD, WET, WICKED WILMA

My Halloween decorations had been up for several weeks. Bags of candy were piled high on the kitchen counter. The year was 2005 and Hurricane Wilma was headed this way! The year before was the notorious one that made history. Two hurricanes, Frances & Jeanne hit the Treasure Coast just 3 weeks apart to the day. The last thing anyone needed was another hurricane strike!

My father used to say that when the calendar reached October we could cease worrying about hurricanes. -- That was another thing he was wrong about!!! Our first October in this house we were hit! It was a back door storm called Irene in 1999.

Like many others on the Treasure Coast, I was in denial. Irene had struck early in October. This was the week before Halloween. Plus Wilma was way over in the Gulf headed toward Mexico. Still, weather forecasters predicted we would be next. She was on a Florida path and would strike us from behind.

I have been to the Yucatan peninsula. I took a small plane deep into the jungle to view its ruins. (The 1970's were my years of world exploration.) Surely, I thought the mountains and dense jungle would rip the storm's fetter bands apart! Also a cold front was predicted around the same time. Hurricanes require warm air. So I wasn't worried. -- Big mistake!

The Yucatan failed to disperse Wilma. In fact she picked up strength as she crossed the Gulf toward Florida. The reality finally sunk in.

I phoned the carpenter who boarded my home the previous year. The one I thought was a saint for doing it for $40. almost at the last minute. -- What a difference a year makes!!! I was informed that he could not be bothered with me. He was too busy boarding houses on the beach. -- I reminded him that I had asked to be put on his list because I didn't have anyone else to do the job! Obviously he had forgotten this. He curtly told me he was sorry, he was too busy.

"Just board-up the 2 double picture windows and nothing else!" I pleaded.

"You want me to board-up the whole one side of your house!" he snapped.

"No!" I snapped back. "Just the TWO windows!" He refused. "Just board the top window, then," I urged.  "It's the most vulnerable.   You can forget the bottom one!"

Reluctantly, he agreed. He would be here between 5:00 & 7:00 PM, he said. -- By 9:00 PM, I gave up all hope of seeing him. I told myself that Wilma may turn out to be nothing more than a category 1.

Irene had been a category 1. It was serious enough to take down several trees, but the house was unboarded and sustained only minimal damage.

Before going to bed, I turned to the weather station. Wilma would be striking as a category 2!!! I screamed so loud I'm surprised my neighbors didn't phone the police! I cursed that carpenter and cried myself to sleep.

The next day Wilma struck with a ferocity! The electricity went first. Back door hurricanes are wet as they are windy. Water came streaming thru the (closed) windows of my house! I used every towel (paper & cloth) to save my carpet! My supply ran out! The floor was flooding under my front door! Frantically, I put newspapers down to keep it from reaching the carpet.

Fortunately, unlike Jeanne & Francis, Wilma struck during daylight. I could see well enough to do damage control. My front door appeared ready to blow in bringing the storm inside my house. Sobbing and screaming, I alternately prayed and cursed. I watched a tree snap in half outside! Any second I expected a tree branch, or an entire tree, or even a tire to come crashing thru one of my windows! The winds roared as they ferociously whipped around my house.

To my disbelief, I heard the phone ringing. I was dismayed there was still service!  I had no phone for several days with the previous hurricanes. My brother was on the other end of the line reversing charges as usual.

"I can't talk now!" I hollered into the receiver. "I'm in the middle of a hurricane!"

"Oh, there's a hurricane," he replied with surprise.

"Yes!" I shrieked. "My windows are all unboarded. I'm having a nervous breakdown here!"

"Don't you have neighbors?" he asked. "Didn't they help you?"

"You would certainly think so!" I bristled.

When I was child, our nearest neighbor, a widow and her daughter lived several miles up the highway. Had a hurricane been approaching, my dad and grandfather would have been over there boarding up her place the minute they finished ours. Today, I'm in a subdivision surrounded by neighbors. For all they care, I could blow away!

The day after Wilma, the temperature plummeted down into the 40's which is about as cold as it gets here in South Florida. The electricity would not be restored for several days which meant no warm cup of coffee. I shivered as I washed in a frigid bathroom. Happily, there was no sleeping on any bathroom floors due to heat this time.

Also because my windows were unboarded, I could open them to dry my carpet. Mold was avoided this way. My roof had been replaced the previous year. The new one was up to code. This time around, there were no shingles in my yard among the debris.

In my life and times, I have endured 6 hurricanes, 3 alone. Wilma was utterly the most terrifying!

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

BITING THE COSMIC DUST

Recently, I updated my Will. This was long over due. Several dead people needed to be removed. Also I'm co-authoring a book with my friend and illustrator, April Sampson. Had I not done this, it would have created problems for her down the road.

As for burial arrangements, my great friend Rose will be handling this. I chose cremation. It's fast, easy, and cheap! Three words I'm proud to say, never applied to me in life. Also I don't believe in wasting valuable real estate on the dead. With the exploding world population I can foresee a time when cemeteries will be dug up to plant crops. Cremation is the way of the future, or it should be.

There is one stipulation. I must be 100 per cent dead first! In the past, people have been buried alive. Bells were placed over graves tied to the cadaver's wrist below. -- There are no bells inside a cremation oven. And if there were, by the time anyone heard, I wouldn't be a dead ringer, but a charred one, extra crispy.

Around 20 years ago, I saw a news report about a mortician who had sex with a woman's cadaver and she came back to life!!! Comedian Joan Rivers said she should have married him. I say, he should have been castrated!

Rose's spouse is in law enforcement. Perhaps he will be kind enough to take his revolver and fire several shots into my body as a precaution.

Rose thinks it's creepy talking about these things. I don't! None us are getting out of here alive. Our bodies wear out, but we don't! We have all existed in one form or another since the beginning of time. This life is but a nuance of color on an iridescent thread that stretches into eternity. I've had personal contact with ghosts.

I want my ashes to be scattered in an exotic foreign land. -- No beaches! Growing up on Florida's Treasure Coast they are too common place. It has to be somewhere I've never been.

Rose immediately thought of Romania! It's more in character with my personality, she feels. I've read that Romania is dramatically beautiful in every season. Romania it will be! The perfect send off into my after life. -- I may even stick around long enough to learn the language before moving on to explore other dimensions.

I know Rose will pick an extraordinary spot for the scattering. Perhaps over a lake surrounded by forest with a looming mountain high above, topped by a castle.

As my ashes are scattered, I expect Rose and her husband to sing, MY THING IS MY OWN which I've taken as my theme song. -- It's that tune which automatically plays and probably annoys you while you're trying to read my blog.

I insist they use the trip as a second honeymoon as well. It 'll be a win-win for every body. I want them to go to festivals, live shows, see all the sites, etc. I will be there enjoying it too, literally in spirit. Of course I won't be returning with them.

There's a line of cremation jewelry. (Some really cute!) Lockets for ashes the living wear to carry a part of the deceased around. Perhaps Rose will buy one to keep my memory alive.